Saturday, October 30, 2004

No kidding, really? Is that what I've been doing all this time?

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary.
If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

And thank you for that stunning report, Capt. Obvious!


Friday, October 29, 2004

I love it when stuff works the way it should!

I owe everyone who has attempted to come by the last couple of days a huge apology. Especially if you're visiting via BlogExplosion. My rating is probably in the dumper by now LOL.

My blog was not loading correctly in Internet Explorer because of an error in one of the codes. I had written to Blogger twice to get this resolved, but it was actually one of my readers who figured out the problem and emailed the solution to me. Once I put in the fix he sent, MVL was loading properly again! Yay!!!! So a big thank you to Keith for figuring this out before Blogger did.

Maybe I should learn how to do all that stuff so I don't sit here wondering what the hell is wrong with my blog this time...


Thursday, October 28, 2004

She's not a extortionist, he's not a dirty old man. End of story.

Man, i just love to fuck around with the search engine spiders...[insert evil laugh here]


In other news:

I'm still a bit cheesed off at the fact that only those of you using Netscape are the only ones who can read this (there may be other browsers who can, but IE and Firefox aren't among those). It's still not loading properly in IE and Firefox, and the majority of people use IE as their browser. I've written to Blogger...twice. Still nothing has been resolved. Even I can't read this unless I bring up Netscape.

My ex husband had this "brilliant" idea that he could put me on his health insurance, once he gets this all wonderful "job" he hasn't gotten yet. Pardon me if I don't believe him. The kicker is that when I get the paperwork, I have to tell this new employer that we are still married. I told him to forget it, that I wouldn't lie just so I can get health insurance. I told him instead if he gets such a great job, to just pay me a set amount every month so I can get my own insurance. He says that he wants to "help" me Disability and SSI. Lying about the status of our relationship is not "helping" me, it's lying, period. If he wants to get his ass in trouble, then he's gonna have to do it without me. He's gotten me in more trouble than I care to remember right now.

I inquired about a local FMS study today. I answered some screening questions and was told that someone would get in touch with me in a week's time. If I am chosen, and I complete the 2 1/2 to 4 month study, I'll be paid $1000. I'll be seen by a doctor, get medical treatment, and take a medication that is being tested for fibromyalgia patients, or a placebo. It sounds like something I want to get involved in, because FMS patients need all the help we can get just to live somewhat "normal" lives. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) starts Monday 11/1. I've been refining my notes and I think I'm going to make a serious effort to get to the 50k word goal. I did it last year, so who knows what'll happen! Also, I'm blogging my novel this year, you can check it out here during the first week in November.

I'm Tank's Grrl, and I approve this post...


Wednesday, October 27, 2004



Sweep of St. Louis Cardinals 4 games to none!!


Guess what hit Daniel (hint: not a car)? Guess who finally called?

Daniel came over and the first thing he asks is, "Did Tori tell you what happened?"

Well, what happened was this: Daniel was driving to work at the grocery store yesterday morning when something or someone hit him on the passengers side door. He slammed on the brakes and spun around, finally coming to a stop a few hundred yards up the road (no traffic, thank goodness). He sees this buck staggering off on the side of the road, and it dawns on Daniel that the buck is what hit him!

So he goes on to work, and tells his manager that a deer hit him on the way to work. Daniel said his manager was pretty cool about the whole thing.

Now there is a basketball sized dent on the passenger side door, up by the handle, and the door cannot be opened from the outside. The buck also took off the rear view mirror on that side as well. Daniel says that Dean's reaction to the altercation was, "well, damn!" (Daniel drives the car and maintains the insurance, but Dean owns it).


Saon called this morning (after nearly two months!). He got his job back at Belle Chasse, working 12 noon to 12 midnight. He's rooming with a woman who wants a relationship with him, and he tells me that he doesn't want one with her. He's trying to save his money so he can move out. Apparently, this is the woman he told me about before he left Hutch who won't take no for an answer about them getting together. He's told her (so he says) that he has someone (me) he wants to have a relationship with, but she's not taking the hint. Was she the only person he could stay with? He told me that he'll call again on one of his days off this weekend.

We'll see...


I don't know what's going on here

There's something weird goin' on with how my blog is displayed in IE. In Netscape and Firefox, it looks fine. I took something out of the template, but if I had really screwed up the code, it would have the same result on all three browsers, wouldn't it?

But I'm too tired right now to worry about that...


I'm not going to say anything about the World Series

except to say that I look forward to writing the eventual headline.


In other news:

Is anyone else as sick to death of the stories about how Ashlee Simpson screwed up on SNL the other night as I am? Okay, it happened. Deal with it and move on. Don't make a big frigging deal about it!

Mom got a recorded message from Brad Carson (the Democratic US Senate candidate in OK) this afternoon. She said it was really lengthy and saved it for me to listen to. I listened to it only to the point of him saying his name, and then I deleted it. Too late, Brad ole buddy (NOT!)...

Mom never did get to her dentist's appointment this morning. She said she wasn't feeling well and rescheduled it for Monday at noon. My mother is a nervous nellie when it comes to the dentist. She even has antibiotics to take before she even gets there because of the nature of the work she has done could lead to an infection if she's not careful.

I've requested some books from the library that I've read before that I want to read again. These books are all ones that JC has suggested to me over the course of the year. Maybe I can re read those and then get back to "A Course in Miracles", which I am convinced is impossible to master on one's own. Especially if one has to read it on the internet. The library doesn't have that book available. I wonder if I should request it?


And that's the update for now...


Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Clear as mud

I was reading the article on about blogging your novel for NaNoWriMo. There were some instructions on how to make the blog I set up for this purpose read more like a book rather than a blog, and I don't understand word one of it! It's all code, and I'm lucky just to remember the basic tags and how to make a hyperlink. All that fancy coding stuff is waaay beyond me!

I'll figure something out before Novemeber 1st, when NaNoWriMo begins at midnight local time.

I hope.



The computer I'm using at the library has logged me off twice now, and I'm getting kinda tired of it. I have better luck at home for cryin out loud!

I am still really sleepy. Guess I will go home and take a nap. I wonder if this goes thru a toddler's (read: my 19 month old nephew Joey) head when they're sleepy: maybe I should take a nap...naaaah! Not any toddlers I've ever known! LOL.

Just got the sign that my 30 minutes on the computer are almost up. Gotta go.

(from home)

It's raining, I'm freezing, and I haven't gone outside yet!

Someone, and I won't mention any names (*cough*Jeff*cough*) turned the AC down to 70 degrees! I practically froze to death last night!

I realize that it can get hot in Jeff's room, but he shouldn't be making it difficult for the other members of the household by turning down the AC just so it can be cooler in his room. Central air affects the whole house! And all I need is to get sick. I think the whole world would stop if I couldn't go out to get my mother's cigaretts because I was too sick to go.

[Flashbacks to last Thanksgiving don't make me feel any better]

I need to get a couple more hours of sleep so I can be somewhat coherent to take Mom to yet another dental appointment.

Man, I feel like crud! What is it that has been making me feel like this lately? The fatigue from the FMS and the RA are bad enough! Yesterday, I slept all afternoon, until I had to get myself over to the grocery store Daniel works at because he ran out of gas.

Daniel works on one side of town, and his bank is on the other side of town near UCO. I had to take him from 15th and Santa Fe to Bryant and Ayers and back (with a stop at the gas station so he could put some gas in the gascan I brought). On the way back from the bank, we drove thru the UCO campus and caught up with Jeff on University, waiting for "the Eddy" to take him home (at least he can ride the trollies for free because he's a UCO student).

We got Daniel and the gas back to the grocery store parking lot. He put it in and was able to drive home (or, hopefully, to another gas station to fill up his tank).

I need to make a photocopy of the timeline I made for my next NaNo novel so I can refer to it while I'm writing...just a reminder to myself...

I'm goin' back to bed...


FIfty-six smackeroos. Oh. Wow.

$56 dollars is the amount of the first child support check we've gotten from Jon in over 6 months! Mom thinks it might be a partial payment, and I hope she's right. Jon helped bring these boys into the world, he should at least help support them (and what he's paying now is back support on Daniel and Jeff).

I talked to Jon on Sunday, and he was standing outside in the cold wind talking with the Portugese gal he's so ga-ga over (I don't know nor care if it's mutual). In Portugese, no less! Now come on, Jon is in Massachusetts where it gets cold this time of year, doesn't he have enough sense to come in out of the cold (I think we all know the answer to this one)?

But $56? This better not be a regular amount, or I will have to get nasty about it. His employer paid him under the table for first three months, then screwed around for the next three months after that. I said in a post several months ago that I would not feel comfortable patronizing the bar Jon works at, because of the owner's part in helping him avoid his obligations. It would be sad because the same woman owns a total of three bars in that area (and Jon has worked at all three).

He fails to realize that if he'd kept up the payments, he'd be done by now. Jeff turned 18 last March.

But, he pleads poverty every chance he gets ("I need to eat!" So do we, Jon. Can we say "duh!"?). He really needs to get another electronics job, which is what he was trained to do, and I think he takes the janitor in a bar jobs so he doesn't have to fork over quite so much money every month.

He should thank his lucky stars that I don't ask for alimony, too. I didn't ask for it when we were divorced because I was working, and I knew that he would do the same thing with that as he does with the child support. I wonder if I could ask for it now, five years out?

Probably not.

Gotta get to bed. Nite all!


Monday, October 25, 2004

Political ads are gettin' me down

How sick of these am I? I'm to the point of turning down the sound on the TV every time one comes on. And, it's not just one ad; it's a slew of them all at once! Mostly, they have to do with the vicious Senate race in Oklahoma. One was just on with Brad Carson, saying he's tired of so-called "attack ads". The thing that bugs the crap outta me is that Carson was the first to run attack ads, now he's saying he's tired of them? Give the voters of the Sooner State a little credit for brains, Mr. Carson!

Carson's opponent, Tom Coburn, held out as long as possible before he felt he had to defend himself with ads of his own. Dr. Coburn is no angel either, but if given the choice between him and Mr. Carson, Coburn would get my vote.

But wait, there's a wrinkle in this race: there's a third party candidate. She has done no advertizing, and probably doesn't have a prayer of even getting enough votes to make a decent showing against the two men running in the major parties. However, as a protest against the stupidity that has been the Senate race, me, my two adult sons and my mom are seriously thinking about voting for the third party candidate, Sheila Bilyew.

I'll laugh my ass off if she wins!


Sunday, October 24, 2004

I think I'm gonna take it easy tomorrow

I feel like crud. It feels like I'm coming down with a cold or something, only it feels like it's in my chest. It actually hurts to take a deep breath. I'll have to talk to Dean about that if I'm not feeling any better tomorrow.

I'm watching the second game of the World Series. Boston won last night, and are ahead at the top of the 4th inning 2-0. Curt Schilling is pitching for Boston and Matt Moore pitching for St. Louis.

I think I may actually go to bed early...we'll see.


I think I may go home and scare myself silly

I'm at the library, and I've checked out Stephen King's Four Past Midnight. Jeffrey was just asking about the story "The Langoliers", and it's in this book. I've just started getting into King's stuff, because I like the way he writes.

I've been feeling really weird today. I don't know how to describe it, but it's a mix between stress, depression and fear (and what have I got to be afraid of? Plenty! Especially if Bush is re-elected). Maybe it's panic, but I'm not prone to panic attacks. Since I've been in Oklahoma, I've had lots of things happen to me that never happened before, in a physical sense, and not having a doctor to see is frustrating.

Maybe I should cut out the caffeine, the chocolate, and the Celebrex. When I was sleeping I felt like my chest was on fire!

I joined BlogExplosion last night, and I still don't have it figured out. I put the little dohickey in the sidebar, and people are coming to read it, I guess (my traffic's up in any case).

The other night I had the post about things that bug me, but I forgot to add one. That one is the website of the hilariously funny political cartoons but out by the Spiridellis brothers (Gregg and Evan, I hope I spelled your name right!). In all the searches that come thru on my referrer's list, the website is searched for under "jigjag", and that's not what it is. It's "jibjab". Go and see the new cartoon, "Good to be in D.C."

I don't have anything else to say right now, but trust me, I will! [insert evil laugh here]


Saturday, October 23, 2004

Audio Post: On the road again

this is an audio post - click to play

I got something else to do on Nov. 2

I got a letter from Social Security today, and they've set an appointment for me to have an exam to determine if I am truly too disabled to work. That appointment is November 2nd at 3:30pm.

I hope to God that this doc has treated fibromyalgia (FMS) patients before, or this will be a big waste of time. I intend to check this out on Monday. I don't want this to turn out like the last time SSA sent me to a doctor, less than a month after I came here and I had no idea where anything in OKC was. That doc had no clue about FMS and the exam he gave me told me that. No wonder I was turned down for Disability and SSI! This is what I want to avoid. So, I'm going to do some research.

On November 2, I'm going to have my shit together, so to speak.


Things that bug me...

Political ads (especially the US Senate race here in Oklahoma): Enough!!! November 2nd could get here soon enough! And that senate race-- I'm not voting for either of those clowns! If there's a third party candidate, I'm voting for them!

Bill O'Reilly's sexual harrassment suit: I've had enough of that, too. Cases like this are tried in the "court of public opinion" (think Kobe rape case) every time you turn around, and that's not where they belong. Try them in the courts, where they do belong. Do we really need to have 24/7 commentary? All the gory details? Just tell us the suit's been filed and the outcome. Speculation on why who did what, who said or didn't say what...who the hell cares? If you do care, watch it on CourtTV.

Britney: I've definitely had enough of her! And her gold digging husband.

Christopher Reeve: the man's dead. Leave him alone and let him rest in peace.

The war in Iraq: nothing brings me down more than to hear the running total of dead Americans every night on the G.D. news! I have sons the ages of some of these kids who have died for Bush's ego. I imagine there are parents in my age group who have had to deal with the death of a child in the war. Innocent people being beheaded, insurgents, Osama...was this war really necessary? If so, why was there never a plan?

Bush: I'm just plain sick and tired of him. Period. I've stated the reasons why elsewhere in my blog, so I will not expound on those here. If you really care what I think of him, use the search feature on the top of this page.

"Eat it Jeter!" : the ALCS ended at just the right time, because if I had to hear Jeff yell this one more time, I might have had to hurt him...LOL j/k Jeff.

Insomina: this has bugged me for 16 years (yes, you read that right. Sixteen years of not being able to get a good nights rest!) All docs want to do is give me medication to help me sleep. Treat the bloody problem, not postpone it! Geez!

And with that, I'm going to stop.

and thank you for your support

Thursday, October 21, 2004

I called it!

St. Louis just won their game against the Houston Astros, 5-2... So it's the Cards at Boston on Saturday in game 1 of the World Series!

This is the post I called this matchup in. Who'd have thought I would be right???

Sometimes, I simply amaze myself. It was just dumb luck.

Go BoSox!


Three for Thursday, Volume 1

I have received the first three questions that I asked for in a recent post. These are from Wally Edmond, from Wally's Wacky World:


1. If you came across the "ladder" of success, but it was missing a rung... what would you do?

2. Would you rather be the artist that paints the masterpiece, or would you rather be the subject painted on that masterpiece? Can I be both, at different times? Okay, seriously, I'd rather be the subject of the masterpiece. In that way, I would live on long after both I and the artist have passed on.

3. If you had a magical crystal ball that would only allow one viewing, would you look to your future, or would you look back to an important event in your past. Hmmmm...if I could change the past, then I'd say look back at the past. However, I'd look only at the immediate future (maybe a year or so).

Thanks for the Q's, Wally! Anyone else want to ask me three questions? Either email them to me, or leave them in the comments for this post.


Wednesday, October 20, 2004


The Sox are headed to the World Series for the first time since 1986!!! Ya gotta have faith, baby!!!! Yankee fans were saying, "Not in OUR house!"

Yeah, New York, in YOUR house! How ya like us now?

History has been made here! Boston's the first team ever to overcome a three games to none deficit to advance to the World Series! And they said it couldn't be done!

Final score: 10-3. World Series begins Saturday. Now we have to find out who they're playing, the Astros or the Cardinals...tune in tomorrow.

Man, I wish I were in New England tonight!


Takin' this with a grain of salt

Once again, boyz and grrlz, my haphazard, non-daily, not always updated (on this blog) horrorscope:

Your Daily Aquarius Forecast
Quickie: A promise will turn out to be a mirage. Keep your eyes open for illusions. (ex is really good at this *sigh*)

Overview: It's time to finally reveal what's on your mind, but do be gentle. Not everyone gets along with rapid-fire change as well you do -- especially when it comes to relationships.

Daily extended (by Forget about other people's problems for a while. Within the privacy of your own empire, you can make or change the rules at the slightest whim. Start something new, with no plans or obligations to finish it. Why let a false sense of discipline ruin things? Whatever happened to just having some fun (no one in my family is into me having fun)? There's nothing wrong with building castles in the air, especially if you haven't made promises to actually lay the foundations.


Is it November 2nd yet? I just want this political mudslinging, this "I'm-better-that-the-other-guy" mentality, the endless political ads, to end for the love of humanity! I only want candidates to tell me what they are going to do once they're elected, not tell me how bad the other guy or gal is. Enough's enough already!!


Stick a fork in me, I'M DONE!
(for now)


Man...those BoSox are gonna be the death of me yet!

Another exciting win for the Boston Red Sox! 4-2 over the Yankees at Yankee Stadium, no less! The Red Sox are the first team in postseason play ever to force a 7th game after winning three in a row in a three games to none deficit! Game 7 tonight at Yankee Staduim...and this is for the trip to the World Series, folks! SOX ROX!!!!

Man, I was on the edge of my seat the entire game! When it got down to the ninth, with two outs and two Yankess on base, it was crunch time! Finally, there was that last out! On to Game 7!

There was a bit of controversy there for a bit. The Sox got a grand slam, but to one of the umps, it didn't look like the ball had left the field of play, but after reviewing it with the other umpires, it was decided that the ball did go out in to the seat, but bounced off a fan and back onto the field.

The other controversy was when Alex Rodriguez was running to first, and the Sox pitcher, Arroyo went to tag him out before "A-Rod" got to first. Rodriguez knocked the ball out of Arroyo's glove on purpose, and was called safe by the ump at first. Rodriguez never even touched the base! Meanwhile, Jeter, who was on first when Rodriguez hit the ball, ran all the way home, making the score 4-3. The umps ruled that Rodriguez should be out for interfering with the play, which forced Jeter back to first base, and the run he brought in was taken off the board (that was sweeeeet! LOL). The Sox eventually retired the side, and the score remained 4-2.


In non-playoff baseball news--- Blogger has teamed up with National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo for short) to have people blog their novels in 30 days (50k word minimum). Since I am already involved with NaNoWriMo, I thought this was a great idea! I have created a special blog just for this years effort. Check it out here.



Tuesday, October 19, 2004

How'd they get here?

There are times I wonder how some people get to my site by inserting random words in a search engine. A few months ago, I made a post with a nonsensical title, hoping a search engine picked it up. Several did, and I think that's where these off the wall search results come from.

And, the site that has the Bush/Kerry cartoons is called I've seen "jigjag" repeatedly in the search results. I've been to "", and you can't get to the cartoons (there are two now) from there, unless they've recently added a link.

And now, to freak out the search engines even more, I submit this: You gotta have faith that sex and telelphones do mix; that living in a fantasy world where $60 mil will buy happiness, and not getting it by beating Ken Jennings on Jeopardy, or wondering if Mary-Kate will return to school. You gotta know that people like O'Reilly, Bush, Kerry, Coburn, Carson, Jay Leno, Bruce Springsteen, Cheney, John Edwards, Arnold, Franken and Karl Rove, have more important things to do that wonder why you're looking them up on Google, Yahoo, AOL, Hot Bot, et al, looking for dirt, dirty stories, dirty politics, and just not reading that shyster Matt Drudge, who probably lives up to his name or else he wouldn't have to have a "report". Is this enough? Probably not, but I'm not going to risk my nonexistant salary on all this claptrap just to make some lonely keyboard jockey happier than a pig in shit. The end, and the preceeding wasn't supposed to make any sense. I did it because I CAN!!!


Surviving Hurricane Joe

We had Joey here today, and he didn't want to do anything. Not eat, or sleep, or sit still, or play much. He has a runny nose and he has teeth coming in. Yep, my 18 1/2 month old hurricane-like nephew just wanted to dump toys on the floor and push the basket around...

I kept telling him, "Where is your mother?"

I was changing him and he kept saying something that sounded a lot like he was saying "shit". I thought I was hearing things, but then I asked Mom to come in and he did it again. We just laughed, probably because Joey had no idea what we thought was so funny. We told Tori when she came to pick him up, and she already knew it. She doesn't know where he picked it up.

But after he left, I was so tired! All I want to do now is sleep...but I don't want to because I want to sleep tonight. Let's see how that shakes out.


Monday, October 18, 2004

Nail biters and pitcher's duels

After 14 innings and nearly 6 hours...the Red Sox have won game 5 of the ALCS! The score was 5-4! OMG!!!! Game 6 in New York tomorrow night! GO SOX!!!!!

Meanwhile, the Astros and the Cardinals are in the 9th inning of a pitcher's duel...the score is still 0-0!

UPDATE: ASTROS WIN 3-0!!!! Yee hah!

Lemme catch my breath!!!


Man, am I in pain....

I woke up this morning feeling like I was going to die. My whole right side of my abdomen was (and still is) pretty sore. I thought maybe it was gas and that it would take care of itself. For a while, it seemed that that was the case. But it came back, and now I'm hurtin' something awful. I don't know if I have an infection, or what, but whenever I get the urge to go to the bathroom, it hurts worse! It's like something is pressing against something else that hurts. If it's still bothering me later, I'll have to do something about it.

Took Mom for her flu shot today. For all the time it took us to get there, Mom was done in like 30 seconds. Then we went to Jimmy's Egg for lunch, where our server was a tall, big gal who reminded me of all the pictures I've seen of Saon's ex.

And what about Saon? I don't know. It's been five weeks since he arrived in New Orleans. If he wants to call, he has the digits. I hope things are going well for him. I hope he hasn't forgotten all the stuff we talked about before he left Hutch. I hope he wasn't saying it all for my benefit because it's what I wanted to hear. What I want to hear is the truth...

But now, I have to deal with all this other stuff. If Saon calls, he calls. If he doesn't, he doesn't. I can't worry about that now.


Sunday, October 17, 2004

Stolen from Hannie, who stole it from Bethie, who stole it from...

No surprise here...LOL

You're Sarcastic....Like me
This is supposed to be the lowest form of humor...But i think its the best because its mean and funny. Besides like me you probably cant help it anymore. Here's a phrase for you...

Take the quiz: "What type of attitude problem do you have? (pics)"

(Especially when it concerns my ex husband...)


This is scary...really scary

This would mean 4 more years of my being unemployed and unable to get Disability.

From the Lawrence (MA) Eagle-Tribune

If Bush wins, expect more of the same old failures
By David Nyhan

Pretend this is the morning of Nov. 3.

The news is almost all about the election, the outcome of the presidential race, the new alignments of House and Senate, a smattering of local races, the latest death toll from Iraq, then a few terse announcements from various federal agencies of bad news they wanted buried in the blizzard of political coverage.

Everyone is exhausted; the winners crow, the losers are crushed, partisans from either side of the divide exult or brood. The country at large shrugs and prepares to move on. To what?

For that, we have to wait till the morning of Jan. 21, 2005, when the papers are full of the president's inaugural speech, the initial pronouncements of the Cabinet designees, leaks from party insiders and congressional sources about new departures in governing, shifts in tax policy, rumored appointments to key regulatory posts.

The contributors whose candidate won lick their chops; those who invested more heavily in the losing side meet in gloom, preparing their defenses for the retribution sure to come in the committee rooms of Congress, and the paneled offices of the political appointees now handed four years of hands-on ability to work the levers of government.

But which way is the country to go?

If John Kerry is president, the federal government changes course dramatically across the whole landscape.

If George Bush is returned for four more years, it's more of the same, only then some. A president who cannot admit ever making a mistake, who insists everything he did in Iraq was just right, whose yes-man vice president echoes that he'd give just the very same advice all over again, that president is going to give you more of the same old same old.

A Bush victory would almost result in a big military push in Iraq, an escalation of air attacks on insurgents, and a desperate gamble to justify the invasion now seen as an occupation that turned into a Vietnam-like quagmire. Look at where the Bush administration is headed in Iraq, and you see where the Israeli government of Ariel Sharon has already gone against the Palestinians: more firepower, more casualties, more retaliatory terror bombings, deeper condemnation across the world at large.

At home, with four U.S. Supreme Court justices either aging, ailing or close to leaving, the fate of a woman's right to choose an abortion hangs on the next presidential appointment. Bush refuses to say if he'd tip the scales against Roe v. Wade. Hello? Can't you figure out that means the banning of abortion?

A re-elected Bush with another Republican-controlled Congress would have no constraints on his policies; no congressional oversight worth anything, no investigations, no summoning of reluctant witnesses forced to testify about their official conduct, no meaningful probes of gaps and gaffes in government actions, no way to deflect the appointment of judges and officials whose past acts betray the sort of raw partisanship so characteristic of this Republican regime. Why do you think it took three years to get the 9-11 Commission report? This Congress covered up for Bush, who is already foot dragging on intelligence reform, hoping to get past the election without having to accede to the Commission's stern recommendations.

We've just seen a foretaste of what's to come under a re-elected Bush: the harshly partisan Republican House member, Porter Goss, has just taken over the CIA. His first act? To sideline a bunch of career professionals, and replace them with a clutch of his political henchmen from GOP ranks.

On the environment, the economy, the legalization of drug imports from Canada, the level of the minimum wage, on worker safety, education funding, student loan amounts , a Bush re-election would cement in place for another four years the same kind of repressive reward-the-rich policies we have in place today.

Assault weapons proliferate on the streets, available to would-be terrorists as well as gangsters and street thugs, because Bush caved to the NRA and allowed the Clinton-era ban to expire.

Stem cell research? Not under the Bush reign. The limited amount of stem cell research allowed by Bush was dictated by his right-wing fundamentalist anti-abortion base. Forget about U.S.-led breakthroughs on spinal injuries, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and the array of diseases researchers are eager to solve. Bush says no because Pat Robertson tells him to say no. This has to be the single greatest government-mandated retreat from science since South Africa's government ham-handedly denied the scientific evidence of AIDS, another triumph of ignorance over enlightenment.

And what of the war on terror? More supposed terrorists tortured in secret jails, the vast network of gulag outposts erected around the world to house our suspected enemies? More hostages taken, more beheadings, accelerating the cycle of more go-it-alone measures, as Tony Blair, Bush's last loyalist in Europe, goes down? Not even Bush partisans can deny that the great mass of citizens in Europe would prefer to see Bush defeated.

Richard Clarke, the top anti-terror appointee who served under Presidents Reagan, Bush Sr., Clinton and Bush Jr., told a Harvard audience last spring that a case could be made that Osama bin Laden might prefer a re-elected President Bush to the installation of a new President Kerry.

Why? Because Bush has made bin Laden a hero to the Muslim masses stretching from Europe to Indonesia. The claim by Vice President Cheney that a Kerry victory would trigger more terror attacks are patently self-serving and beneath contempt.

One of Kerry's biggest applause lines on the stump is his vow to remove John Ashcroft as attorney general. The Justice Department is the federal agency where a Kerry win would result in the most dramatic changes on the domestic front. The changes Kerry would make at the Pentagon and State Department would determine the course of U.S. war policy in Iraq and Afghanistan, and in dealing with the terror threat.

No one can predict the course of the Iraq insurgency, the pace of training Iraqi troops and police to take over security concerns, and the political situation after the election scheduled in January. The continuing cost of American casualties and of the war in terms of money will put great pressure on whoever is elected to set a firm pullout date.

Frankly, it seems the only way the United States can end this drain on American lives and treasure is to leave a lot sooner than either presidential candidate can prudently acknowledge before the election. My hunch is that Kerry, not having launched the war, and being far more critical of its conduct, will get Americans home a lot sooner than Bush would. The four- to five-year occupation that the administration foresees is simply not sustainable in terms of U.S. politics, no matter which man wins Nov. 2.

Bush invaded Iraq for publicly stated reasons that have not held up: no WMD, no nuke program worth worrying about, no Saddam-bin Laden connection, no tie to 9-11. I've argued previously Bush may have had a hidden, smoldering, personal reason to dethrone Saddam: the bitter memory of Saddam remaining in power after Bush's father, author of the first Gulf War, languished in defeat.

And I have no doubt that a re-elected Bush Jr., with his path cleared by the acknowledgment of Cheney that he cannot plausibly run for president himself, opens the way for Bush the Second to pave the course for his brother Jeb, the Florida governor, to capture the GOP nomination in 2008. Any guy who'll start a war apparently to avenge his father's defeat should have no compunction about doing everything he can to crowbar his brother into the White House. Bush III? No thanks. Two are enough.

David Nyhan is a longtime Boston political commentator.


I really like what this man has to say. He says everything I've been thinking since the Presidential race began almost 2 years ago. As I said above, a Bush victory will be a detriment to me personally. This country cannot afford four more years of this. I cannot afford four more years of this. Can you?


A couple of songs whose lyrics piqued my interest lately

Make a Move by Lostprophets and Open Your Eyes by Alter Bridge (lyrics below, all copyrights apply).

Yeah, I know what people are saying about Alter Bridge, that they're just Creed with another singer, but Open Your Eyes is a good song. And Lostprophets I have heard of, but wasn't really paying attention until this song came along....something about hearing it at 8 in the morning while taking Jeff to school (his bike's out of commission until his new tires come in the mail. They must be some special tires!).

And Scott has informed me that he's been listening to Slipknot and Korn at his friend's house...and I'll probably have to get those CD's for him because I doubt very seriously that Tori and Dean will...

(Scott? Slipknot? Lemme see if I can get my head around that concept...yup, my baby's growing up and listening to the same stuff I listen to...)

Okay, here are the lyrics to the two songs mentioned above--

Lostprophets- Make a Move (Wake Up)

So are we lost or do we know
Which direction we should go
Sit around and wait for someone to take our hands and lead the way

Cause every day we're getting older
And every day we all get colder
We're sick of waiting for our answers
Our answers

Wake up, wake up, wake up
Yeah I'm so tired of waiting
Waiting for us to
Wake up, wake up wake up
Yeah I'm so sick of waiting
For us to make a move

Are we meant to take the bait
Should we sit around and wait
Are we being saved, or was that another lie you made to make us hate

Cause every day we're getting older
And every day we all get colder
We're sick of waiting for our answers
Our answers

Wake up, wake up, wake up
Yeah I'm so tired of waiting
Waiting for us to
Wake up, wake up wake up
Yeah I'm so sick of waiting
For us to make a move

Wake up, wake up, wake up
And we will never lose
Wake up, wake up, wake up
It's time to make a move
Wake up, wake up, wake up
And we will never lose
Wake up, wake up, wake up
It's time to make a move

It's not enough
To let it work
Where's the truth
It's all wrong

We're sick of waiting for our answers
Our answers

Wake up, wake up, wake up
Yeah I'm so tired of waiting
Waiting for us to
Wake up, wake up wake up
Yeah I'm so sick of waiting
For us to make a move

Wake up, wake up, wake up
And we will never lose
Wake up, wake up, wake up
It's time to make a move
Wake up, wake up, wake up
And we will never lose
Wake up, wake up, wake up
Make a move

Alter Bridge- Open Your Eyes

Looking back, I clearly see
What it is, that's killing me
Through the eyes, I wanna know
I see a vision, once let go
I had it all
Constantly it burdens me
So hard a choice, I can't believe
I lost the faith, I lost the love
But when the day is done

Will they open their eyes
And realize, we're one
On and on, we stand alone
Until our day is gone
When they open their eyes
And realize, we're one

I love the way you feel today
Now I know the sun will fade
Darker days seem to be
What will always live in me
But still I run
It's hard to walk this path alone
Hard to know which way to go
Will I ever stay the same
will it ever change?

Will they open their eyes
And realize, we're one
Still the pain we carry on
I know our day will come
Will they open their eyes
And realize, we're one

Will they open their eyes
And realize, we're one
(It's hard to walk this path alone)
(Hard to know which way to go)
When they open their eyes
And realize, we're one
(We lost the faith, we lost the love)
(But when the day is done)
Will they open their eyes
And realize, we're one

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Turning the air blue...*&$#%@#*&

Somehow, that spyware made its way back onto my computer. eZula is sneaky and relentless. This is the second time I have removed it from my hard drive via Ad-Aware. If anyone knows how I can get rid of it for good, should it return yet again, please email me. And who do I complain to about this. Surely someone knows how to punish these thiefware scumbags...



Friday, October 15, 2004

There's a telepathic vibe goin' on

Last night before I went to bed, I wrote my friend, JC, an email. I hadn't heard from him in a while, and wondered how he was doing. This morning, as I was just getting online, the notifier for hotmail popped up and said I had 9 new emails. Seconds later, the notifier pops up again, saying I had a new email from JC! I went to read his email, and the first line was this:

Wow! That's so funny. I was going to e-mail you today! dodododo . . .

He told me about what been going on since we last spoke. He's thinking of packing it in at the open mic night he hosts at a bar in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. The place gets too wild (something I told him when he first took the gig, because I didn't like going to this particular bar, though I would have gone anytime he was there).

He asked me how Jeff was doing in school. Then he asked me about Saon. I gave JC the update about when I last head from Saon.

It's always good to hear from JC. He's been such a great friend to me. Funny thing is, whenever I mention his wedding plans, he never acknowledges it. Maybe it's just none of my business.

He ended his email like this: Talk to you later beautiful woman! Not "sweetie" like he has been doing of late. It's probably nothing, so I'm not going to read any more into this that there really is.


Thursday, October 14, 2004

Take a chance on me

Now I have totally lost it because I've found an old ABBA song that says something I want to say to someone else. I haven't thought about this song in forever, but it just popped into my mind. WTF??? LOL

Well, anyway, here it is. Maybe the person will see it, maybe not. I don't know...

"Take a Chance"
ABBA, 1977

If you change your mind (take a chance...)
I'm the first in line
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me let me know
Gonna be around
If you've got no place to go
When you're feeling down

If you're all alone
When the pretty birds have flown
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best
And it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test
If you let me try

Take a chance on me (that's all I ask of you, honey)
Take a chance on me

We can go dancing (oh)
We can go walking (yeah)
As long as we're together (long as we're together)
Listen to some music (oh)
Maybe just talking (yeah)
Get to know you better (get to know you better)
'Cause you know I've got
So much that I wanna do
When I dream I'm alone with you
It's magic
You want me to leave it there
Afraid of a love affair
But I think you know
That I can't let go

If you change your mind (take a chance...)
I'm the first in line
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know
Gonna be around
If you've got no place to go
When you're feeling down

If you're all alone
When the pretty birds have flown
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best
And it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test
If you let me try

Take a chance on me (come on, give me a break will you?)
Take a chance on me

Oh, you can take your time, baby (oh)
I'm in no hurry (yeah)
Know I'm gonna get you (know I'm gonna get you)
You don't wanna hurt me (oh)
Baby, don't worry (yeah)
I ain't gonna let you (I ain't gonna let you)
Let me tell you now
My love is strong enough
To last when things are rough
It's magic
You say that I waste my time
But I can't get you off my mind
No, I can't let go
'Cause I love you so

If you change your mind (take a chance...)
I'm the first in line
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know
Gonna be around
If you've got no place to go
When you're feeling down

If you're all alone
When the pretty birds have flown
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best
Baby can't you see
Gotta put me to the test
Take a chance on me (take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)

Ba-ba ba ba ba
Ba-ba ba ba ba
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best
Baby can't you see
Gotta put me to the test
Take a chance on me (take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)

This is a neat idea...

Kar-nivorous over at Scattered Thoughts posted a cool idea to for his readers to get to know him better. I thought it was a great idea, so I hope he doesn't mind that I borrow it for my own use.

What it is, is this: ask me three questions about anything, and I'll answer them to the best of my ability.

All you need to do is send me an email with your three questions. I'll mention your name and your blog/website's name in the subsequent posting. I'll try and post the answers once a week, let's say on Thursdays.

Sound like fun? I'm looking forward to some questions! What'cha wanna know?


One needs eight years of med school to read this!

Not this post, mind you, but the editorial from The New England Journal of Medicine regarding the removal of Vioxx from the market because of certain side effects. The editorial won't be in the Journal until October 21st, but is online at their site now for doctors and patients to read.

So, I downloaded this article, and I hardly understand a damn word of it! What I did understand of it was, since Vioxx was taken off the market because it can cause heart attacks and strokes, should doctors and patients trust the other two COX-2 inhibitor drugs related to Vioxx, Celebrex and Bextra. The author says no.

For the record, I've never taken Vioxx. I have taken Celebrex and Bextra for the pain associated with my fibromyalgia, so this makes me a little leery. Should I be taking either of these medications, or look for something else to ease my pain? I talked to my brother-in-law, who's a doctor, about this last night, and he told me that as a precaution, he doesn't have any samples to give out of Celebrex and Bextra to his patients (or to me) right now. He'd let me know when he did, or find me an alternative. I asked about Naprosyn (the prescription strength version of Aleve), as I've taken that without incident.

I'll delve into this further...that is if I can get the patient friendly version of this article. I wonder if there is such a thing?


Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Eureka! Triumph against spyware! /Oakdale night at Johnnie's/O'Reilly did what???

I've been having a devil of a time with some spyware from a company called eZula. They downloaded some of their spyware on my system without my consent, and I got rid of it. Yay for Ad-Aware! It really works, and the annoyance is gone! Beware of eZula, though...they're tough SOB's. They manage to get their shit on your system, then even after you uninstall it, it keeps coming back. So you need to use a program like Ad-Aware to rid your system of this menace.


We went to Johnnie's tonight for dinner because 10% of the total proceeds would go to Oakdale School for various uses. Marc was sitting at a separate table with his "Fifth Grade Posse" (my term), which included his buddy, Mark. Amalia saw a couple of girls in her Kindergarten class and they were all so shy! LOL! Scott was at Religious Ed., so he wasn't there. Joey decided that he was going to take a self guided tour of the kitchen, but his mother got to him in time, which really pissed him off!

Note to self: don't get the "Johnnie's Sauce" on your burger next time. That stuff just didn't taste right to me. What was it supposed to be, BBQ sauce???


Bill O'Reilly and Fox News Channel are being sued by a producer for The O'Reilly Factor for alleged sexual harrassment. In turn, O'Reilly and FNC are suing the producer and her attorney for extortion because the producer and her attorney wanted $60 million "hush money".

First of all, I don't believe this for a second. Sounds like a set up to me. The producer still works for O'Reilly's show. If she really was being harrassed sexually, why in the hell would she stay where she felt threatened? WTF is up with that??? She says that O'Reilly wanted to engage her in "phone sex". Yeah, right. This has "extortion plot" written all over it!

Now, I realize that O'Reilly isn't very well liked by a lot of people, so some readers may be thrilled to see him squirm for a change. I simply do not believe that Bill O'Reilly would put his professional reputation and his marriage on the line for a fling with some flaky chick. Just no way! Hmmm, wonder if Al Franken had something to do with this? How much was this chick paid to trash her boss?

Just my opinion, folks. But I like O'Reilly, and I just don't think any of this happened the way the producer (and her shyster lawyer) say it did. For all we know, it was all her idea, and when O'Reilly rebuffed her, she cried sexual harassament.

Time will tell...


Tuesday, October 12, 2004

And now this: a bomb threat at Edmond North

KFOR TV is reporting that new threats have surfaced at Edmond North High School. Writing found in a bathroom stall indicates that a bomb will be detonated at the school tomorrow.

The school has recently been the target of racial death threats against several African American students, and Edmond police are still patroling the campus, and the FBI has considered these threats as hate crimes. This week, an individual student was targeted at home when they discovered a racial slur spray painted on the family's garage door. Now, this.

What the hell is happening here? Who's getting their jollies disrupting the community in this manner? Nothing like this was going on when Daniel and Jeff went there. Well, if the person or persons unknown just wanted to get their mischief on TV, they've succeeded. Way to go,

The FBI is offering a $5000 reward leading to the identity of the person(s) responsible for the death threats and the bomb threat. Police and FBI agents will be at the school until further notice.

Update from KOCO: Oklahoma City


Another neat little time waster

  • First job: salesgirl at Montgomery Ward when i was 16

  • First screen name: stefanie_k

  • First funeral: a Navy shipmate of my ex husband's who died in a traffic accident

  • First pet: Tommie, an Alaskan Malemute mix

  • First piercing: my ears, when I was 14

  • First tattoo: still waiting to do that

  • First credit card: some store charge card

  • First kiss: I dunno, age 8?

  • First enemy: a girl named Cindy, in the 5th grade

  • Last car ride: about 4 hours ago

  • Last kiss: last "real" kiss...a year ago September

  • Last movie watched: Mr. Hulot's Holiday

  • Last beverage drank: Coca Cola
  • Last food consumed: Pizza

  • Last phone call: this evening to order pizza

  • Last time showered: yesterday

  • Last CD played: The Fallout, Default

  • Last website visited: The one I got this at

  • Single or taken: Taken (I think)

  • Gender: Female

  • Birthday: February 9

  • Sign: Aquaruis

  • Siblings: 2 sisters, 1 brother

  • Hair color: reddish brown

  • Eye color: brown

  • Shoe size: 9 1/2

  • Height: 5'6"

  • Wearing: pajamas

  • Drinking: nothing at the moment

  • Thinking about: Saon

  • Listening to: the clock ticking

Fall Classic Fandango...and the death of "Superman"

The Houston Astros pounded the Atlanta Braves 12 - 3 in game five of the National League Division Series this evening, therefore are headed to the Championship Series with the St. Louis Cardinals.

The Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees will play in the first game of the American League Championship Series tomorrow night at Yankees Stadium (8e/7c on FOX).

My predictions (which will probably be wrong, but what the hell):

AL winner: Boston
NL winner: St. Louis

Why those teams? Why not!


As you may have been hearing all day Monday, actor Christopher Reeve died on Sunday of a heart attack. He was only 52 years old. The "Superman" star was paralyzed in May 1995 after a fall from a horse, and was championing research into curing spinal cord injuries. He was a model of grace, positive he would one day walk again, and a source of encouragement for people with spinal cord injuries and their families. He will be greatly missed.


Monday, October 11, 2004

There are just some days I feel like crap

and it has nothing to do with my physical health.

I know why I'm feeling this way, today at least. I've been thinking about worst case scenarios about any number of things going on in my life. I wish I could just get away from all of it, just for a few days, but without money or a working car, I'm just shit outta luck. Just a few days without listening to my mother complain about how there's no money for this or that, or waiting for social security to decide on my disability case, or wondering about things I have no control over and making myself crazy.

The weather's crappy, I have a constant headache, and I just don't give a damn about anything today.

I think I'm going to go and cry now.


Sunday, October 10, 2004

Um, okay...whatever

You rule. in 15 years, you won't be as known as you
are now, but most of the people that will know
you then will like you (or else I'll beat them
with a stick). You're nice to listen to.

What band from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay, you can turn off the rain now...

It's rained all damn day! We need the rain here, but enough's enough already!!!

I'm am just more tired on rainy days. I fell asleep for something like an hour and a half before I went to the store for dinner. I'm tired now. Then again, I'm tired everyday. What else is new under the sun?

Jeff just had to go to the mall today to buy one of those manga books he loves so damned much. So out in the rain we went. Oh. Joy.

I wrote a new poem today, though. I've been concentrating on books for so long that inspiration for poetry doesn't come as often as it did.

It's not looking good for the Dodgers...they're trailing St. Louis 6-2. :(
(The ALCS starts Tuesday at Yankees Stadium. Go BoSox!!!)


What about those Dodgers!

Did you catch the St. Louis/Los Angeles game tonight on FOX? That was a great game! Facing elimination, the Dodgers stepped up to the plate and blank the Cardinals 4 to zip.

They're doing better that their neighbors down the way, the Anaheim Angels, who were eliminated by the Boston Red Sox this past week. I didn't watch those games, sad to say. But, who would I have rooted for? One of the teams I grew up watching, or the team I've grown to love because of my living in New England? Don't ask me to choose?! The better team won the series and will go on to play the Yankees on Tuesday.

So, my Dodger fan son (Jeff) is happy and my Angels fan son (Daniel) is pissed off. I, on the other hand, still have a team to root for if the Dodgers don't advance. A Red Sox/Dodgers World Series? It could happen...

Go Big Blue!!!


Saturday, October 09, 2004

Those JibJab boys are back!

and they've got a new video! OMG! This one is funny, too! Go check it out at NOW!!!!

The guys have a blog, too. They're doing appearances on TV...Friday they were on the Today Show...who knows where they'll show up next!

Check 'em out...RIGHT NOW!!! LOL


Friday, October 08, 2004

Not just any Friday...

This isn't one of those "Thank God It's Friday!!" posts, because since I've been out of work, it's either been one long ass weekend (yay!), or one long ass Monday(bleh.).

But today, well, it's different for a number of reasons... first and foremost (for me anyway), today is the 5th anniversary of my father's death. This date in 1999 was also a Friday. I miss my dad a lot, because he was always there for me no matter how badly I screwed up. I wish I had been with him at the end, but I was in Massachusetts. I talked to him the morning of the 8th, and he couldn't hear me because he didn't have the sound amplifier thingie on his phone. He kept asking me to repeat myself, and I did, to the point of speaking loudly into the phone. I heard him hand the phone off to my mom, telling her that he couldn't hear a damn thing I was saying.

Little did I realize that would be my last phone call with him. He died later that day. I didn't get a chance to tell him I loved him. I've beaten myself up over it ever since. Even now, my eyes are tearing up as I write this...

Of course, I knew he knew I loved him, but I should have said it to him while I had him on the phone. Even if he couldn't hear me. But, I had no inkling that he would die that very day. No one did.

When I went out to California early the following week to attend the funeral, I had a lot of mixed emotions. The day after the funeral, there was an earthquake (only I could travel 3000 miles to arrive just in time for a damn earthquake!). I remember my oldest son running into the room I was sleeping in (my old room when I was growing up) asking "did you feel that?" I woke up just long enough to tell him it was only an earthquake and to go back to bed! Boy was I jaded about earthquakes, or what??? They don't even scare me anymore.

Dad once told me that I could do anything I wanted to do with my life. He knew I wanted to write. He was one of the first people to tell me I was good at it. So the email I got this morning from a complete stranger was especially gratifying.

The writer said, in part, about my manuscript, Carnyville: I couldn't put it down :). Okay, I went away from it a few times, but it kept calling me back. I couldn't wait to find out what happened next.

What an awesome compliment! I've read this email at least a dozen times, and I still can't get over that someone who I don't even know, who didn't have to read it, did read it and liked it enough to tell me so in an email!

I know, somewhere, that Dad is smiling.


Thursday, October 07, 2004

Taxi this...

My destination today was the library. Did I ever get there? Yes. But it took an act of congress to do so...and so the following occured:

12:30pm: It rained really hard and had to go pick Jeff up at McDonald's. He wasn't there, as he had already ridden the rest of the way home.

1:30pm: Drove Jeff back to campus, and I was going to go to the library.

1:45pm: Went home because I wasn't sure I told Mom I was going to library and to check and see if I turned off the oven after baking the frozen buscuits.

2:00pm: Finally got to the library. Got out of van, locked the doors, and walked all of 5 steps before cell phone rings. It's Mom, asking if I could go pick Daniel up from work. My sister's van is in the shop, so she had Dean's Yukon, and Dean had Daniel's car and dropped him off at work that morning.

2:24pm: Jeff calls and says his prof didn't show for class. I tell him I have to pick up Daniel at work, and Jeff tells me that he'd be at the public library (my ultimate destination).

2:32pm: Pick up Daniel at work and head to the library to get Jeff.

2:58pm: Pick up Jeff and head out to my sister's house to drop Daniel off.

3:26pm: Jeff and I arrive at the library...

and so here I am, finally!!!

Mom fussed at me this morning when I told her I had to put gas in the van. Now I bet she's glad I did, or some of us would be stranded somewhere in the rain.

Now, when I get home, I'm going to take a nap. But before that, I have to go to the store. Oh. Joy.

So how was your day?


Wednesday, October 06, 2004

This post brought to you by the letter P

Well, looks like my pictures are back. Yay.

It's overcast and rainy today, and I'm not feeling all that wonderful. My ears hurt and my nose is stuffed up.

I wonder how Saon is doing. If he has a mind to get in touch with me, he has the numbers.

I haven't heard from JC in a while. He's been really busy with both his day job and his night gig, trying to get things together so he and his fiancee can get married, and other things I know nothing about, I'm sure. He has my email when he wants to talk.

Maybe I'm feeling a little lonely today. I get so tired, and I'm hurting some now, I wonder how much more of this I can take. I mean, what the hell else could go wrong in my life? God, I don't even want to think about that!

As tempting as it is to sit here all day and have a pity party, I'm not going to do it. If it takes getting out of the house for an hour or two, I'll do it! This is getting to be too much for me to handle on my own.

(maybe. If I have something to say, that is.)

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! Photobucket!!!!

No pictures= Photobucket's down again.

I can't get to my albums on, and just like the last time this happened, it acts like my albums don't exist. If this is another outage, I wish to hell that they could have informed folks if they knew about it in advance. I don't go there all the time, so their posting it on their site didn't do me a bit of good.

Maybe it'll be up again in the morning. *disgusted sigh*


Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Tune In, Tune Out

I may have said that I wasn't going to watch the Vice Presidential debates tonight...well, I lied (sorta LOL). They were on, but I wasn't much watching them. I was getting more tickled by my mom telling Cheney he's full of bullshit than anything either he or Edwards were saying. It was just a rehash of the Presidential debate from the other night, just with the second string. It was very easy to tune it out, because no one was saying anything new.

Kerry and Bush go at it again on Friday. I may or may not watch. I very well may have other plans that day. Remembering my dad on the anniversary of his death is a little more important to me than another debate. I can read about it the next day in the papers or online and get everyone's opinions on what went down.


Local updates

The two local stories I've been blogging about the last couple of days have some updates:

1. Racial Death Threats at Edmond North High School: KOCO in Oklahoma City is reporting that there is an increased police presence on the campus today. Today was the day mentioned in the messages targeting African American students at the school as the day they would be killed. Several students were interviewed about the situation, that they've noticed the presence of police, as well as some temporary policy changes. This story is ongoing, so there may be updates to this later.

2. Home Invasion Hoax Sent to the D.A.: The Edmond Sun reports that the case of the Edmond North teacher who staged a home invasion to win the affections of his estranged wife has been sent to the office of Oklahoma County D.A. Wes Lane. No charges have been filed. Additionally, The Sun names the teacher in question, and it is who I thought it was. No further updates to this item are planned (at least by me) unless something significant happens.

*Sigh*--welcome to my world. Not a good week for the Huskies, I'd say.


Monday, October 04, 2004

Banned Books...

I kinda sorta borrowed this from Habitatgirl. Why I don't have Habitatgirl on my BlogRoll yet, I don't know. She always has great stuff to read!

The gist of this is to highlight the books on this list that you have read. So, without further ado...

The Banned Book List according to the ALA (covers the period of 1990-2000):

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
19. Sex by Madonna
20. Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan

34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

40. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Of the 100 books listed, I've read 26, or a quarter of them. Some of them I don't understand why they are on the list (James and the Giant Peach? Where's Waldo? A Light in the Attic?), and some I do understand why, but what is the big freakin' deal? Did the esteemed folks who decided these books were "bad" even read them first, or did they go by what others said about them?

No one, and I mean NO ONE, tells me what I can and cannot read. God gave me a brain to make that decision for myself. I've read some books in my life that definitely belong on this list in my opinion, but I'm not going to stop someone from reading what they want, either. If someone wants to read Mein Kampf, go ahead. I choose not to read such garbage. And I'm going to read Stephen King, because I like the way he tells a story, even if it does scare the shit outta me.

So, that's all for this right now. BTW, I encourage lively discussions on the things I write about on this blog, so if you want to have a conversation about anything I've written about, feel free to contact me, either by email, Yahoo! Messenger(see above), or by chatango. Or just leave a comment and a way to get in touch with you if I choose.


Sunday, October 03, 2004

Gutless Wonders

In the past week, there have been two racial death threats to students written on the restroom walls at Edmond North High School. The school and the Edmond school district have taken a hard stance against this, as Associate Superintendent Brenda Lyons said at a news conference on Friday, “We cannot let the foolishness of someone who would make these threats disrupt the educational process.” Additionally, Lyons said that there will be school on Tuesday (the target date) despite the threats, and that the students targeted would have the option of staying home that day.

What kind of gutless wonders feel so brave as to write death threats on the bathroom walls? It's just like they have nothing better to do than to stir things up with the hopes of getting on the six o'clock news. Maybe they should put their beliefs on a billboard at Broadway and Second Street: I AM A TEENAGE RACIST WITH JUST ENOUGH BRAIN CELLS TO WRITE MY NAME BUT CHOSE NOT TO OWN UP TO THE RACIST DEATH THREATS AT MY SCHOOL.

I hope, that whoever the young man and woman are who wrote this stuff, are caught, expelled from school, and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. How about a sensitivity boot camp, starting with MY size 9 and a halfs up their backsides? How dare you bring shame to your school? How dare you even walk the halls of Edmond North knowing you are responsible for the turmoil you've caused not only the students you targeted, but the entire student body, the teachers, the staff and the community? Are you so clueless that making these threats is only a joke, a game to you? As the mother of two North graduates, it infuriates me that people like you attend such a fine and outstanding school.

If these people are so dedicated to their "beliefs", why didn't they sign their names to their threats? It's because they're cowards, that's why. Only cowards make threats like this. They have yellow streaks down their backs a mile wide, because they don't care about anyone but themselves. All they wanted was to see the result of their actions on the news. Hello, but have you heard of Columbine? Yes, that did happen five years ago, long before these kids ever got to high school, but schools have been dealing with what happened there and how to prevent it at their schools since then. The people who are responsible for this should be punished, but by the school district and the courts, not by students seeking revenge.

I'm happy to say that the kids at North, the staff and parents, and the school district are a fine group of people. It only takes a few to ruin it for the many. Racism is NOT TOLERATED, at North or anywhere else. If there are people inclined to think that way, keep it to yourself. Yes, I know this is the South and racism is an unfortunate "tradition" here, but it never has been and never will be cool.

And kids don't just happen upon these beliefs, they have to get them from somewhere. Parents, are you passing things along that you don't mean to pass along, such as intolerence? I know these are trying times for our country, and there are a lot of feelings about what's going on in a certain part of the world. Do your kids hear the things you say and adopt them as their own? Maybe it's time, then, to check yourselves. Racists are made, not born. Are you making a racist and don't realize it?

Many people fear what they don't understand, and stereotype an entire ethnic group with their fears? Is it time for a reality check, or some education about certain racial, religious, or gender groups? Knowledge is power, and ignorance is NOT bliss.


Please Note: The preceding is the opinion of the author and does not reflect the views or policies of Blogger, HaloScan, Edmond North High School, or the Edmond Public Schools. This article from The Edmond Sun is the basis of this post. Any and all comments left regarding this post are at the discretion of the author, who has the right to edit or remove any comment she deems offensive. This post ©2004, all rights reserved.

Where do I find these people at???

This person contacted me this morning via Yahoo! Mess-up-enger. I suspect he is a college student about Daniel's age, though he didn't come right out and say so. His profile says he's from "Uptown NOLA (New Orleans)", and Tulane University is in that area. The conversation was pretty strange.

He asks me how I am and what I did this weekend, then he says this:

houston_is_the_best (11:16:33 AM): have a pic?
amethyst4point0 (11:17:03 AM): there should be one showing on the IM window
houston_is_the_best (11:18:17 AM): oh...thats bullshit
houston_is_the_best (11:18:23 AM): your profile says you're 40
houston_is_the_best (11:18:27 AM): that woman's only like 29
amethyst4point0 (11:19:11 AM): okay, believe what you want. I am 40. I was 36 when that was taken
houston_is_the_best (11:19:52 AM): it was a compliment silly
amethyst4point0 (11:21:48 AM): maybe so, but it didn't come across as one
amethyst4point0 (11:22:00 AM): it came across as you calling me a liar

Is it me, or did you get the feeling he was calling me a liar? That didn't look like a compliment to me. For the record, the pic he saw is the same one that is on the sidebar with my profile. And that really is me...

The conversation continued on, and he told me he lived near Tulane and I asked if he was a student there, to which he said, "maybe".

Oh, great, I've got a horny college student on the other end of the conversation who likes older women. So I tell him I've been dating a younger man for two years (off and on), which is true. Well, I think that got rid of him, because the IM ceased at that point.

Where do these guys come from? And whatever makes them think I want to date anyone I meet on the internet? I still prefer to meet the men I date in person (the old fashioned way), or not date as I see fit. Right now, there's a certain Cajun ex-carny I'm kinda sweet on, and I want to continue to see where that goes.


I feel like what else is new?

The weather changes and I catch a damned cold.

I've been doing way too much thinking lately about things I have no control over. This gets me all worked up and I get bummed out. I've always been this way and I wish I could quit doing that. I'm the only one who suffers, and nothing gets accomplished. I think the worst of every situation. Maybe it's a coping mechanism against disappointment, I don't know. What I do know is that I've always been this way, and I gotta knock this shit off. It will drive me mad if I can't get some kind of a handle on it. Maybe it's the time of the month, or the stress I've been under, or that I haven't been sleeping well. I just have to deal with it and get on with it.

So, please forgive me for getting weirded out on you. I should be okay in a couple of days. It never lasts that long.

Thank goodness.


Friday, October 01, 2004

Oh, my God, I feel like I'm gonna die...!

My head hurts, my stomach is threatening to expel its contents and I feel like I've been drugged.

I slept all the way til dinner. I laid down about 4pm and got up at 8pm. Mom had sent Jeff to the store for dinner. And I still feel sleepy.

I went and ran errands this afternoon, and a lot of my usual routes were blocked by road widening projects. There were mounds and mounds of red dirt everywhere.

Sorry I'm so lethargic this evening. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.


Raising the roof...

Today (well, yesterday now) the roof on the house next door (that was just sold) is being replaced, so very early, I thought I was hearing a ping pong match in my sleep. Then I heard Pinky barking her fool head off (I may have even yelled at her in my sleep, I don't know). After I was fully awake, Mom told me that the departed (as in moved away) neighbor's roof was being re-done. So we got to hear that all day long.

I watched Joey today while my sister took Mom to see her lawyer. Daniel was here as well and was a big help. He didn't have to work until later in the day.

I didn't do much else today. I was really wiped out after watching Joey, so I went and took a nap for about three hours.


We watched the debates, and Jeff and I were yelling at Bush the whole time. To be fair, both candidates held their ground, and it was a good clean affair. The VP candidates debate is next Tuesday, but I'm not going to watch it because everything that Cheney says I'm convinced is a bald faced lie. I'd be yelling at the TV more than listening.

There's this rumor going 'round the web that if Bush is reelected, that he will reinstate the Draft. Cheney said that is not true. There are two bills in the House now regarding this, but neither one is getting any support.

I've written about this subject several months ago. Please see this and this for more on that, so I won't go any further here. Suffice it to say that I am not in favor of a Draft.

That's all from the trenches here.