Monday, January 31, 2005

Stolen from Hannie, who stole it from Charm, who stole it from...

1. Song that sounds like happy feels: "The Middle" --Jimmy Eat World. It kinda reminds me of the carnival.

2. Earliest memory: "Time in a Bottle" --Jim Croce. This is the earliest I can remember liking a song. I was like 8 or 9 at the time.

3. Last CD you bought: I had to replace CDs that I foolishly let someone I barely knew "borrow", so I'd have to say StoneSour's self titled CD

4. Reminds you of school:
Elementary/Middle/Junior High School-- disco music and "Freebird"
High School-- "My Sharona" by The Knack
College-- When I should have been in college, I was married and having babies. So from that time frame, I'd have to say anything by Bon Jovi, "Twilight Zone" by Golden Earring, and anything I heard on Sesame Street.

5. Total music files on your PC: I think I have one song, "Broken" by Seether featuring Amy Lee. All my illegal downloads from Napster are long gone.

6. For listening to repeatedly when depressed: "For You" --Staind; "Burning Bright" --Shinedown

7. Sounds British, but isn’t: I really don't know how to answer this...

8. Tune you love, band you hate: can't think of one

9. A favorite from the past that took ages to track down: "Stuck in the Middle with You" --Stealers Wheel

10. Bought the album for one good song: last album I bought for one song was... I forget.

11. Worst Song to Get Stuck in your Head: "Hot in Herre" --Nelly

Sunday, January 30, 2005

There goes another one...

growing up before I'm ready to handle it.

My 13 year old, Scott, bought some CD's (the music kind) with money he'd gotten from Dean's parents for Christmas a couple of weeks ago. I knew he was going to get some CD's because that's what he told everyone he was going to do. One of the CD's was Green Day's American Idiot. The insert from the CD was laying on the counter at my sister's house and I asked who's CD it was (because Daniel lives there, too, and it could have been his). Scott said it was his, and I was rather impressed. Now, 2 out of 4 sons likes the same music I do. Marc doesn't know what he likes yet, and Jeff likes classic rock better than the stuff that's more current (this is the same kid who's looking at a 1951 Chevy truck for his first car!). Jeff blames Daniel for Scott's interest in current rock music. I said, "So?"

Anyway, Scott let me listen to part of American Idiot before everyone went to the Pinewood Derby Friday night (Tori, Amalia, Joey and Daniel stayed home). I'd picked Daniel up at work, so that's how I ended up at my sister's to begin with.

Scott is also about two inches taller than I am, but not quite as tall as my sister (I'm 5'6", and Tori's 5'9"). I said around Scott's birthday last May that he'd be taller than me by then, but I never dreamed that he'd be taller than me by my birthday!!

They grow up so fast. Physically, at least. Maturity-wise...well that's another story.

That's all from where I sit.


Saturday, January 29, 2005

Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket

Make a list of 10 statements about yourself:
4 of the 10 statements must be lies
Post your list and have people guess which four are lies!

And my list:

1. I once worked for a carnival
2. I am a natural redhead
3. I used to work for a cable shopping channel
4. I was in a movie called Femme Fontaine: Killer Babe For the CIA in 1994
5. I was born the same day the Beatles were on the Ed Sullivan Show
6. I've written a novel
7. The "Tank" in my username is the nickname of a man I've been involved with
8. All four of my kids are left handed
9. I am a big fan of hip-hop/rap music
10. I once drove 24 hours straight to attend an out of state wedding.

Your job, if you choose to accept it, is to identify which 4 on the above list are false. Leave your answers in the comments along with your email and I'll let you know if your guesses are right or wrong.

I hope someone takes me up on this challenge...

That's all from where I sit.


Friday, January 28, 2005

What we all take for granted

If you want to talk to a friend across town and you can't go to their house, what do you usually do?

Call them on the phone, perhaps?

Imagine you live in a tiny rural community that is hard to get to. Imagine that you have to drive a ways to the next town just to use the phone.

Then you might know what the folks of tiny Mink, Louisiana, have to do just to call someone.

Mink, Louisiana is finally getting phone service. No more driving to a nearby community to use a pay phone.

Now, this is 2005. I, like many of you, I'm sure, thought everyone had phone service. But Mink is an isolated town in northwest Louisiana, and had been trying to get phone service for 35 years! They even met with then-Governor Edwin Edwards back in the 70's, and he told them that he'd look into the situation, but nothing was ever done.

Now, they can make phone calls from the comfort of their own homes. In 2005.

Think about that the next time you make a phone call.


That's all from where I sit.


We got snow!

This is, in its entirety, an email I sent to my friend JC this morning. We really did get snow here in Oklahoma, though I think it will be gone by this evening.

There were big fluffy flakes, and I watched it come down and accumulate on the grass, the fences, the mailbox. I stared at it, almost hypnotized.

Later, I went out, and the streets were already clear from the numbers of drivers that traverse West Danforth at that time of the morning. When I arrived in the store parking lot, I saw people all bundled up, insulated from the cold. Hats, gloves, heavy jackets, even a couple with ear muffs. Then, there was me, my only protection a heavy weight sweatshirt and knit gloves.

I ran inside and quickly got what I went there to get, then walked back outside. I just stood there for a few minutes and closed my eyes. In the relative silence, I could almost swear I was standing outside the Market Basket in Methuen where I used to shop, or maybe outside in the parking lot of Putnam Investments where I used to work. For those few moments, I was magically transported back to Massachusetts. I had seemingly forgotten about Oklahoma car tags (license plates) and the proliferation of everything OU and OSU. Then, someone walks by me and their cell phone rings. The ringtone is "Boomer Sooner", Oklahoma's fight song.

My fantasy was over. I was still in Oklahoma and I still had to get home. It was still snowing. The snow may be gone by tonight, but for a few moments, I was where I really want to be.

(JC's response: "Damn, you have a way of writing, girl!")

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, January 27, 2005

Yeah, this is me...LOL

I'm not out to impress anyone by doing stupid stuff. If you're impressed by just me being me, then that's all I'm asking for. I don't change the way I am for no man. I'm always learning and doing, and if some of that changes me for the better, then I'm happy. Don't like me the way I am? There's the door: don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya on the way out!

You Are Independent Sexy

You drive men crazy with your "playing hard to get act"
Except, it's really not an act at all.
You're a strong, sexy woman with her own life and interests.
And makes men even more interested in you!

What Kind of Sexy Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, January 26, 2005

25 miles to Hampton Roads!

This is kind of an answer to Hannie's post. We worked together in Virginia at the callcenter that shall remain nameless (all I need is for the company I worked for there to yank me into court for some stupid thing I said in my blog about them...and I haven't worked for them in almost 6 years!!). I left in July 1999, the same weekend that JFK, Jr crashed his plane, and the weekend that turned out to be my dad's last birthday (he died in October that year).

I lived in the Norfolk, Virginia area for eleven years (1988-1999). My two youngest boys were born there. I have great memories of the places I went and the people I knew there, but sometimes, karma has a way of telling you you've overstayed your welcome. By July 1999, I had overstayed mine. It became painfully obvious it was time to move on.

I had always liked this song, "Oh, Virginia", by Blessid Union of Souls. It kinda sums up how I felt about the place I lived for 11 years.

Oh Virginia

Here's my chance to say thank you to a place where
All my memories are fond and an essence of my heart
Waiting there with open arms
There's Melissa full of charm
How I miss her so, she's such a sight of love down in

Oh Virginia-- down the higway to 64
East way to Newport News
There you'll find an open door in
Oh Virginia-- all my friends are there to greet me
Just a smile down 64 along the open road

At the Patton Hotel I spent lots of time there
That's where we decided this is where we wanted to be
And down the road on Jefferson you'll find Steamer's close by
If you see Mark and Steve Breen
Tell 'em Jeff and I both said "hi"

But we were younger then never knowing then
That she would take us as her own
And make us part of her life
Highway to the sun we had so much fun
I can't wait to get there and tell 'em that I miss my second home

Oh Virginia-- down the way we'll be there in no time
Oh Virginia-- just a ride down 64
Oh Virginia-- I can see those signs from here
Oh Virginia-- 25 miles to Hampton Roads!

We got friends in Yorktown we got friends in Williamsburg
We got friends in Newport News
We want all of y'all from Portsmouth sing
We got friends in Bluefield we got friends in Richmond
We got friends in Hampton Roads
And down by the beach let me hear everybody, yeah


And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Two articles from the Boston Globe about the passing of columnist David Nyhan. Nyhan worked for the Globe until 2001.

Remembering a Gentle Giant

David Nyhan, 1940-2005: an editorial

He will be missed. I wish I had had the insight to read more of his work while I actually lived in Massachusetts.

That's all from where I sit.


(Maybe later I can mention that my 13 year old son is now taller than me....yikes!)

Monday, January 24, 2005

David Nyhan strikes again

Rice hearing put administration arrogance on display

David Nyhan
Special to The Eagle-Tribune

Barbara Boxer lived up to her surname and pulled no punches once she got the soon-to-be secretary of state up against the rhetorical ropes.

The fiery senator from California pressured Condoleezza Rice relentlessly Tuesday. The men of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee sat back like ringsiders watching a cat fight more captivating than the female boxing film hit of the moment, "Million Dollar Baby."

Not even Sen. John Kerry's measured emergence from his postelection cocoon approached the tension level of the confrontation between the combative Democratic senator who'd voted against authorizing the Iraq war, and the national security adviser. Boxer lacerated Rice for telling the nation everything was going as planned, that no more troops were needed, that we had a plan for every contingency, and oh yes, Saddam had the nukes, the WMD, the ties to al-Qaida, and anything else you needed to hear to be persuaded this folly was a good idea.

Kerry replayed his bill of particulars against the conduct of the war, after an election he lost largely because he could not explain why he voted for it at first and then soured on its outcome. Like too many of Kerry's speeches about Iraq, it was long, detailed, thoughtful, serious, well-informed after a recent trip through the Middle East, but a bit windy, and ultimately too nuanced to carry the day and dominate the news cycle.

Not so Battlin' Barbara. While her fellow Democrats more or less meekly held her coat, she let fly with scorching challenges to Bush's policies and Rice's rationalizations. Male politicians are severely handicapped when it comes to challenging women in public, whether in a political debate or during a highly charged congressional hearing. They all remember how some of the senators who grilled Anita Hill during the bloody and unedifying Clarence Thomas hearings damaged male members of both parties. Boxer was not handicapped in taking on Madame Secretary-to-be.

The highly respected chairman, Sen. Dick Lugar (R-Ind.), allowed Democrats leeway in what amounted to a rare chance to grill an Iraq policy maker. Ms. Boxer, she of the eponymous surname, did not leave her skepticism in the locker room ... err, the cloakroom, like the bulk of the senators. Pointing to claims Rice made repeatedly before and during the war that have been proven wrong or inaccurate, Boxer thrust home her challenge:

"I personally believe that your loyalty to the mission you were given -- to sell this war -- overwhelmed your respect for the truth."

Rice, her voice quavering at times and her eyes flashing with anger, said: "I have never, ever lost respect for the truth in the service of anything, and I would hope that we could have this conversation and discuss what happened before, and what I said, without impugning my credibility or my integrity."

But this was all theater. "You are going to be confirmed, and everyone knows that," said Kerry, who resuscitated campaign themes sowing doubts about Bush's "questionable" Iraq policy, and claimed U.S. troops are dying on missions for which there are not enough soldiers.

Rice fenced politely with Kerry, swatted aside Sen. Chris Dodd's bid to pin her down on just what kinds of interrogation or torture the Bush White House has authorized, and rejected out of hand suggestions that any more than 150,000 U.S. troops were ever needed to sustain the occupation.

And she demolished any notion that anyone in the administration will acknowledge having any kind of timetable for withdrawal of U.S. forces. She said dismissively to Kerry, "This was never going to be easy." Easy, no; but disastrous? When Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) asked the most basic question -- "What is our success strategy for Iraq," she began with her bottom line: "I can't give you a timeline" but you'll know it when "they're actually beginning to solve their own problems." Right.

Rice's pre-game sound bite of the day was to have been singling out a half-dozen "outposts of tyranny" in such backwaters as Cuba, Belarus, Zimbabwe, and North Korea, an echo of Bush's famous "axis of evil" speech that predated the Iraq invasion. Boxer alone pushed the issue of Iraq with enough oomph to make the news.

"I just feel you quote President Bush when it suits you but you contradict him when he said, 'Yes, Saddam could have a nuclear weapon in less than a year.' You go on television nine months later and said, 'Nobody ever said it was ... '"

Here Rice interrupted, disputing Boxer's characterizations that Rice had misled everyone under orders from Bush, and concluded: "Senator, we can have this discussion in any way that you would like. But I really hope that you will refrain from impugning my integrity, thank you very much."

Why is it these Democrats can never get a White House biggie to admit ever making a mistake about anything?

There is something about these Texas guys that is bigger than all outdoors -- like, their egos maybe? President Bush staggers from fiasco to blunder by way of debacle, constantly changing his story, plucking excuses from his bottomless basket of rationalizations, sputtering that "it's hard work!" like a sweaty teenager just coming in from washing the family car.

Never admitted a mistake, never flogged any of his appointees for screwing up, always telling us how resolute he is, as if stubbornness in the face of reality changes facts on the ground. The situation in Iraq has been worsening every single day since the statue of Saddam was tugged over by U.S. Marines.

And no amount of flag-draped inaugural party photo-ops with returned soldiers conceals the bankruptcy at the heart of the policy. Bush's claim that his re-election by 2.5 percent justifies his war policy is merely the latest example of the hubris that sprouts in Texas-land. "We had an accountability moment and that's called the 2004 elections," the victor claims breezily.

It is a colossal ego trip to declare a war in Iraq for reasons that have been systematically discredited, then instruct your subordinates to say, hey, we never made any mistakes, every big decision we made was exactly the right one, what's the big deal about no nukes and no WMD and no ties to al-Qaida, we unhorsed Saddam, and we won the election, so shut up.

Bush is never going to be on a ballot again, but the Republicans, who will bear responsibility for the war's outcome, betray a look of unease. Nebraska's Chuck Hagel, a Vietnam vet who may be the John McCain of 2008 and roar through New Hampshire's GOP primary, is but one of the pro-war faction that will have to cast around for a lifeboat as this Titanic of a war policy gets deeper into iceberg territory.


Stef here: I've always said that Dr. Rice was a puppet of the Bush administration, and the confirmation hearings thus far illustrates this. Sen. Boxer called Rice on the carpet and she still repeats the "party line": there is really no timeline, and that Iraq is starting to fix its own problems?

Fix its own problems, Dr. Rice? When are they doing this, because all we've seen in news reports is the Iraqi insurgents killing Americans and each other. When do they set time aside to "solve their own problems"???

Yeah, and Sen Kerry is right, Condi will be confirmed. But if she honestly think we Americans are too stupid to understand what's going on over there, then she is truly living in a fantasy world of the Bush administration's making. Give me a break and get real! No wonder Colin Powell wants out... he knows BS when he sees it and he wants no part of it.

And that's all from where I sit.



UPDATED: 10:58pm CT, 1.24.05: In today's edition of the Eagle-Tribune, it was reported that David Nyhan passed away over the weekend while shoveling snow at his home in Brookline, MA. He was 64. The above column was one of his last. I'd only been reading Mr. Nyhan's columns in the Eagle-Tribune online edition for only a short time, but he dared to say what I had been thinking about political issues. I wish I had taken the time to read more of his writings. I will miss his insight and his brashness. May he be at peace now.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Good night, Johnny

Former Tonight Show host Johnny Carson died at his home in Malibu, CA at the age of 79.

He hosted the Tonight Show for thirty years, having taken over the show from Jack Paar in 1962. Carson's last show was May 22, 1992.

He'd been married four times, and divorced three times. His fourth wife, Alex, was at his side at the moment of death. They'd been married since 1987.

Carson had been ill for quite some time with emphysema.

May he rest in peace.

That's all from where I sit.


I have this wicked awful headache

So what else is new, eh?

A few days ago, I wrote about this crazy idea that I had. I've been doing some research on the net about this idea, and I want to travel to this little town in another state to see what it is really like, and possibly use it as a location for a future writing project.

Unfortunately, travel is a little out of my budget at this time.

I went to this little town's website, and the contact links are all outdated. Drat! Calling would be, obviously, long distance. And what would I say? Hello, I'm thinking of living in your little town for a bit so I can use my knowledge in a writing project that may or may not be published?

I don't think they'd go for that, do you?

That's all from where I sit.


Saturday, January 22, 2005

It's "" (dammit!)

The new Inauguration cartoon by the Spiridelis brothers is at .

People looking for it thru MVL have shown up on my referrer's list as "jigjag". It's not "jigjag", dammit, it's jibjab!

got that? Good. This lesson will not be repeated and there will be no final exam. But, I hope that you took notes.

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, January 21, 2005

The SSA appointment went well yesterday

For more details, see Look What the Cat Dragged In.

Other than that, nothing else is new. I spent 4 hours in the doctor's office yesterday and they did all kinds of tests and exams and a lot of me answering lots of questions. I have a good feeling about this. I'd see this doctor again if the occasion arises. He was very nice and understanding.

That's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Poly Ticks

Well (insert disgusted sigh here)...

Tomorrow starts the next four years in the reign of George W. Bush. How much more can he screw up the US of A than he has already?

Condi's been confirmed as the next Secretary of State*. Oh. Joy. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that we have a strong, intelligent woman in that post, but all I see when I see Dr. Rice on TV is a puppet spewing forth the gospel according to Rumsfeld, Cheney and Bush. And, I mean to tell you that that "gospel" is wrong. We're still at war for God's sake!

And because we're still at war, I don't think that $90 billion of taxpayer money should be spent on this overblown spectacle that is the Second Inauguration. Nine, count 'em, nine Inaugural Balls? What, one ball won't do? There has to be nine of the damned things? There's a cartoon on JaG's website that says it all: a hoity toity couple is dancing and the blowhard "gentleman" tells a soldier, "We're at a party. You're at war."

No, pal you got it wrong: the USA is at war. If you're a American Citizen, then you, too, are at war. But then, again, that's the point of the cartoon. Just because they personally are not fighting the war, some people think that it's okay to do whatever the hell it is they please. They're not thinking of those men and women over there in "I-rack", fighting for God's only knows what, since the Bush administration has suspended the search for WMD's (which I'm convinced never existed in the first place, therefore Bush lied to us to get into this mess).

Bush says that the Iraqis want freedom. Do the Iraqis even know what freedom is, or what it will mean to them? After living for 30 some-odd years under Saddam Hussein's tyranny, how in the hell does Dubya know what the people of Iraq want? Because some Iraqi Government official says so? C'mon, even I know that anyone in government, regardless of what country it is, has no clue what the common people want. The politicians are all busy getting rich and thinking about themselves. Constituents? What are those?

If Bush messes up this time (and since his approval rating is in the toilet), you can't blame me. I voted for John Kerry.


The JibJab boys have a new cartoon. Have you seen it? Check it out on, Yahoo, or a TV near you. I think you'll like it. I know I did!


And that's all from where I sit.


*Actually, she's just been approved by a committee. Now her nomination goes before the Senate for a full vote. Then, she'll be confirmed if they all vote in favor of her getting the job.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Auntie Stefie's on Snot Patrol

We had Joey over here today, and I swear that kid has had a runny nose since this time last year! I was following him around all day wiping the snot off his face. He doesn't like it when someone does that, but I don't like looking at it either. I don't remember doing that when my kids were Joey's age (22 months), but then again, my youngest is 11. Maybe God conveniently allowed me to forget that part about the boys younger years.

Anyway, the funniest part about Joey's visit was when Pinky stole Joey's cookies. Joey held not one, but two cookies right out where Pinky could easily snatch them away, and snatch them away she did! Later, Pinky took one of Joey's peanut butter crackers, too. Joey wasn't too thrilled with her by this time, as you could probably imagine.

Nothing else earth shattering happened to me today. Except maybe I have an appointment next Monday (1/24) to talk to someone about making a dream of mine possibly come true.

That's all from where I sit.


Hmmm. I like this!

Saw this on JaG's blog and thought I'd give it a whirl...

You Are a Lace Bra!

Dreamy, romantic, and ultra-feminine
You're a womanly woman who makes guys feel like men
Your perfect guy is strong, determined, and handsome
With a softer side that only you can draw out

What Kind of Bra Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

I don't think they make lace bras in my size (and, no, I'm not telling you what size that is!)...

That's all from where I sit.


Monday, January 17, 2005

Dude, you need sensitivity training

I called the customer support line at the Canadian online dating site to complain about someone using my email address on their profile. The guy I got was totally combative and seemingly uniterested in helping me. He explained to me three times (I got it the first time, thanks) how someone could have gotten my email address. Seems that they (the person who contacted me initiallly) used the persons username, and then added "@(domain name).com" until they got one that worked. Okay, I got that.

This idiot in customer support was totally like, "well, this how they might have done it, it happens all the time, so you really have no right to complain." Perhaps, if he had thought to use people skills, which he apparently lacks, he might have said something like, "Hey, look, I'm really sorry about this, but let me tell you what may have happened in your case, and why." If he can't be professional, maybe he should find another line of work, one where he doesn't have to deal with the public.

Then he asked if there was anything else he could help me with. I told him that he needs to take some sensitivity training and a refresher course in customer relations and hung up on him.

Customer services and support is what I did for fifteen years of my working life. Rudeness and unprofessional behavior is not acceptable. The phone rep is the company they take calls for to the customer, and if the customer is treated badly, they will tell others not to do business with that company.

Now, I'm off to take my bogus profile off this site. I only signed up to get information on the person that may have been using my email address without my consent. Turns out she isn't, but only has a username similar to an email address I have.

That's all from where I sit.


Sunday, January 16, 2005

Now this just goes too far!

Someone thought it was cute to sign me up with a Canadian dating service. I'd have never known about it, except that someone who found me interesting emailed me this morning, and told me where he got my email address.

First it was the stuff in the mail I didn't ask for, now it's a dating service in another country? WTF is going on here???

I joined this dating service just to find out what's up (it's free). There is a member there who has a username that is the same as an email address I've had for about 8 years, but I have to pay to email this person (or if they're using my email addy, myself). The man who contacted me kindly offered to see if he could find the profile he responded to that led to me.

This has got to stop! I'm figuring it's either someone who knows me and I'm being "punk'd" by them for reasons unknown, or it's a hacker who got my info somehow.

How likely it's one of these two scenarios, or something I haven't considered. All I know at this point is that I didn't do this and simply forgot about it. If I did, why a Canadian site? Why a dating site? I don't do dating sites, period.

All this has got me more than a little pissed off.

That's all from where I sit.


Saturday, January 15, 2005

Feed a cold-- yeah, right

I got new for all of you who live by that adage to "feed a cold, starve a fever"-- it doesn't always work.

All I get from it is an upset stomach. And it doesn't make me feel any better.

I went to Panera today and got a mocha latte. I was asked if I wanted it in a "to go" cup, or a mug. Since I was staying, I said a mug.

What a mug it was, too! This thing was nothing more than a huge coffee cup, or a cup that would hold soup or stew.

But now, I have a belly ache from drinking it. It's something like 28 degrees outside, so I thought that something warm would be just the ticket. It was, but it was waaaaay too much! Gimme the "to go" cup next time.


I got this crazy idea today. I'm researching some locations for a story I have an idea for. It's kinda hard to do when you can't go there personally and check things out.


My SSA appointment is on Thursday at 10am, and I'm kind of looking forward to it. I hope that the doctor will ask me questions about how I feel mentally. Have I got a story for him! I took the time to write down the things I've noticed in the last two years, and it's not a pretty picture IMHO. It's down right frightening! I think I know me better than anyone else, and if I've noticed these things, I'm amazed that no one has noticed. Or, maybe they have and just have written me off as a "drama queen" and ignored it all together.

Believe me, I don't do things soley for attention. I think I'm a little beyond that. I'm more like I want to hide what's wrong with me, but sometimes, it's quite difficult to do. Especially the physical pain from the FMS. Which is why it upsets me that certain members of my family think I'm faking the whole thing. Believe you me, I couldn't fake this if I tried. If there were no unbearable pain to deal with, I'd probably still be in Massachusetts, still working, and would have never gone to the Bangor State Fair 2 1/2 years ago.

And from the physical pain, comes the mental pain.

So I hope that this appointment goes well. Beats watching the Inauguration on TV.


That's all from where I sit.


Friday, January 14, 2005

See the Sun

I heard this song tonight on Medical Investigation on NBC, so I looked up the lyrics. The song is by Dido on her Life for Rent CD.

See the Sun --Dido

I'm comin' 'round to open the blinds
You can't hide here any longer
My God you need to rinse those puffy eyes
You can't last here any longer

And yes they'll ask you where you've been
And you'll have to tell them again and again

And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again
And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
And I promise you you'll see the sun again

Come on take my hand
We're going for a walk, I know you can
You can wear anything as long as it's not black
Please don't mourn forever
She's not coming back

And yes they'll ask you where you've been
And you'll have to tell them again and again

And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again
And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
And I promise you you'll see the sun again
And I promise you you'll see the sun again

Do you remember telling me you found the sweetest thing of all
You said one day this was worth dying for
So be thankful you knew her at all
But it's no more

And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again
And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
And I promise you you'll see the sun again
And I promise you you'll see the sun again
And I promise you you'll see the sun again
And I promise you you'll see the sun again
I promise you you'll see the sun again

See the sun again
See the sun again
See the sun again
See the sun again

See the sun again
See the sun again
See the sun again
See the sun again


And that's all from where I sit.


There isn't anything to write about

I just can't seem to get myself motivated to write anything that anyone else would want to read. Maybe it's because I've gotten sick again and I'm feeling lethargic, I don't know. I'm going to take a nap and see if that improves my mood any.

Doesn't help that it's colder here in Oklahoma than it is in Massachusetts. There's just something wrong with that.

That's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Goin around in circles

Jeff got his books yesterday, and the off campus bookstore (which was cheaper and had the same books as the B&N on campus) was packed! There is a very small parking area and it was full. I dropped Jeff off and them drove around the block about 4 times before a space right in front of the door opened up and I grabbed it!

Jeff had bought all his books by the time I got in there and he was looking at the varied and sundry UCO logo items. I thought he was going to buy a ballcap he saw, but thought better of it, I guess.

All my driving around the block depleted what little gas the van had in its tank, and on the way home, we ran out of gas. Fortunately, there was a gas station nearby and, with the help of a green light, we coasted into the station and up to a pump just as the engine died. We put in a few bucks, then went home.

The book Jeff got for his English class was $60! It must have at least 600 pages, and I found it hard to believe that this whole book will be covered in one semester.

He's taking German again (the continuation of the class he took last semester), and it uses the same books. However, the workbook wasn't available last semester, so Jeff picked that up this time. The funniest thing about it is the cartoons with German captions. One could pretty much guess what was going on without the caption, though.


I think I'm going to check out something that I've been meaning to look into for a while. If I do go through with it, it will be the first step to making a long time dream of mine come true.


And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, January 11, 2005


Now this is interesting:

You Are 28 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Well, according this this, Saon and I are the same age. Oh boy. LOL

I'm not ashamed to say that I will be 41 in less than a month. For all the fussing I did this time last year about turning 40, it wasn't all that bad. Bring on that extra candle! And the hell what others think!

That's all from where I sit.


simma down now

I got an email from my friend JC yesterday. Seems that he's joined a new band (he's a multi-talented musician who regularly holds "musicjams" at his house), he's moving closer to the beach (he lives near it now!), and he and his fiancee are finally gonna get hitched; they had to postpone their wedding last summer for reasons I am not at liberty to discuss-- mainly because JC doesn't discuss his private life with me, and I'm cool with that.

He's the one who got me started on all the new age/Course in Miracles/Carlos Casteneda stuff. He's been interested in this for many years and thought I'd be interested in it as well. Since I am always interested in learning new things, I was receptive. Some things, though, I have trouble getting my head around.


Mom's housekeeper is here, and, I'm sorry, but she's a pain in the ass. Even after the two years I've been here, my opinion of her hasn't changed. One day, I'm going to tell her to shut the hell up.


Later, I have to take Jeff to buy his books for the current semester. During his break, he somehow managed to misplace his student ID, which allows him, among other things, to ride "The Eddy" for free. It'll cost him $10 to replace it, if he doesn't find it.

Jeff got a bunch more money for school, and Dean recently bought Jeff a laptop computer for his Engineering courses. Jeff has to pay him back, of course, and proudly declared himself the newest member of Dean's "Bank of Dad".


And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, January 09, 2005

SNL repeat. But what a repeat!

Not so much for the host, Luke Wilson, but for musical guests U2! Wow!!!

Now, I have to say that I've been a U2 fan for quite a few years, ever since their Joshua Tree release. And, when was that, '87, '88? They are just one of those bands that grabs you by the throat with their vision and their talent and makes you go "yeah...yeah...YEAH!" So you know I really enjoyed their repeat appearance on SNL. I just wish that NBC would play the 20 or so minutes the band played after the credits were run. I would have loved to have been in the audience that night! Woo hoo!

Walk away, walk away
Walk away, walk away
I will follow...

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, January 07, 2005

I don't get it...

Why is it that my blog content just decides to not show up? Is it just in IE? I don't understand why this happens sometimes. I write to Blogger, but they don't seem to come up with any real answers, like they think that everyone who uses their service is well versed in RSS, CSS, HTML, etc. Plus, it takes forever to get an answer from them, and most times either I figure out what's wrong, or someone else does.

My blog is way too large to just move it all to another service. I wouldn't know how to do that anyway.


That's all from where I sit.


An ousider looking in

Over on, I was reading this article about artist Walter Anderson. He was born and raised in New Orleans, left to attend art schools in the east. His family later moved to Mississippi, and he evetually made his way there. He was a troubled soul, as so many creative people seem to be at some point.

That got me to thinking about being an "outsider" or an "insider". Are you from wherever it is you grew up, or are you from somewhere that you feel comfortable and accepted? For example, am I forever an Orange County, California girl, or am I someone who adopted a small Massachusetts community as her home, only leaving when having nowhere else to go?

I do know this: as long as I remain in Oklahoma, I will always be an "outsider". I have no friends here, and I'm not interested in having any ties to this state other than those family members who live here. I didn't feel comfortable doing the same things here that I enjoyed in Massachusetts, because I couldn't seem to get an in. Everyone here knows everyone else, and I was perceived as an outsider, therefore, no one wanted to reach out to me. At least, that's how I see it. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough, but I'm not sure I want to. I don't really want to be here anyway. I wish I had never left Massachusetts...

Because there, I was an "insider". I have lots of friends, I knew how things worked, I was accepted there for who I am and brought into an established group of people who wanted me there.

If at some point, I actually made it back to where I grew up, I'd be an outsider there. There is nothing in Orange County that would entice me to move back there on a permanent basis. My family isn't there anymore, and the only thing I'd do if given the chance to go back there is to visit my father's burial place.

Sixteen months ago, I visited Saon in Gretna, LA, just outside New Orleans on the Westbank. As I have mentioned previously, the trip was a disaster. Saon feels comfortable there, because he has friends and family there. Forget for a minute that all those people could give a rat's ass about what happens to him, all they want is what he can give them. He tries so hard to live down to their expectations (you read that right, live down to their expectations). He's an insider there, and he says that he's never leaving there again for any reason.

I, on the other hand, was an outsider, and everyone there, with a couple of exceptions, made sure I stayed an outsider. Saon was on the fence about my status, but I suspect that his "friends" convinced him I didn't belong there. That's why the trip was a disaster. We've since worked through that and we're still friends (if anything else).

Now that he's there, I don't see where I'd ever have a place in his life. He says he loves me and that he wants to be with me, but I don't know how that will ever happen. He's still trying to impress people who don't really care about what happens to him. All they care about is what he can do for them.

I will go back to New England at some point, sooner rather than later. If anyone wants to come with me, fine. If not, fine. I'm going to go back to the place I feel most comfortable. Someday.

Somewhere I feel I belong. Where I can be me.

That's all from where I sit.


Thursday, January 06, 2005

Big Mamas and College Freshmen on Ice!

Jeff and I braved the ice on the roads to go to the store this morning. After staying in all day yesterday, we were getting a bit stir crazy.

Once we were on Danforth, we were fine, it's the streets in the housing tract and the parking lot at WalMart that were slippery and treacherous. We slid thru a stop sign one time, and barely missed an Escalade trying to park.

Now, the ice is starting to melt, so I'm going to attempt to take Jeff to the library so he can print out his class schedule and figure out what books he's going to need.

And that's all from where I sit (at least I'm not sliding down the street!)


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

It's what outside?

Twenty-two degrees. Welcome to ice storm central.

It's colder here than it is in Massachusetts. Unfortunately, I'm still in Oklahoma. You wouldn't think that Oklahoma would be one of the coldest places in the country.

The phone didn't ring all day. We could make calls out, and I can obviously get on the internet, but no calls came in to our phone at all.

It's just been a weird day, because no one could go out, unless I wanted to star in "Minivans on Ice" or something equally bizarre. I practically skated out to the mailbox this morning. Not fun.

Did you see the OU/USC game last night? The Sooners could have called that game in, because they were busy believing all the hype being made about them here in Oklahoma. 55-19...sheesh!

But, Adrian Peterson is da bomb! Can that boy run! I see great things for him...

That's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Since when

did poker become a spectator sport?

I was in a local establishment today and they had ESPN on several of their TVs. One of the shows was "The World Series of Poker". This is regular everyday folks playing poker on TV for some serious coin. Not that celebrity poker jazz...

I play poker, I'm not good at it, but I have been known to play on the rare occasion (when I have someone telling me what's good and what's shit sitting next to me). But on television? That ranks right up there with televised bowling. Bor-ring! I can see it now:

(Voices in a near whisper:
Ralph: Jack, Phil is holding a pretty good hand. But Bernie has a better one. David has cards that add up to crap. Will David put on his trademark poker face and bluff the others out of the party?

Jack: I dunno, Ralph, David has won a lot of coin using that technique. He forces the others to out do each other, but Bernie's been pretty sharp lately. Fortunately, neither Bernie or Phil have played with David, so they don't know what he's capable of. We'll just have to sit back and see what happens.

Ralph: I think you may have something there, Jack.)

Now, come on... poker as a spectator sport? Gimme the remote, I'm looking for reruns of Who's The Boss...


While in this same establishment, they had some kind of classic rock music loop playing. One of the songs was one from when I was a freshman in high school that I couldn't stand then, and can't stand now. Undercover Angel...ewww! Lyrics go something like this: Undercover angel/midnight fantasy/I never had a dream/make sweet love to me... Uck! I need a barf bag! The intervening 25 years or so does nothing to make this song likable in my mind. The singer sounds like he was reading Playboy or Penthouse before he sat down to sing this little disgusting ditty...makes my skin crawl (and it did when I was 14, too....)!!


That's all from where I sit.


Monday, January 03, 2005

Heard on the local oldies station this evening

Man, I loved this song as a kid! Now, it kinda reminds me of the carnival...

Stealer's Wheel
Stuck in the Middle With You

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.

Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
And you're proud that you're a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please.... Please.....

Trying to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,
'Cause I don't think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
And you're proud that you're a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please.... Please.....

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you,
Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
Stuck in the middle with you.

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, January 02, 2005

I got it from her, who got it from those guys, who got it from God know's where

I got this from JustAgirl's blog.

Three Names You Go By:

Three Screennames You Have:
Tank's Grrl

Three Things You Like About Yourself:
I'm a good friend
I'm a good listener
I'm fairly intelligent

Three Things You Dislike About Yourself:
I'm moody
I'm too emotional
Having a chronic illness and no way to pay for treatment

Three Parts of Your Heritage:
Native American

Three Things That Scare You:
That one or both of my adult sons will get sucked into Mr. Bush's War
Not being loved
Not being in control of my destiny

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
Orange tshirt
Blue jeans
49'ers Jacket

Three of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment):
Collective Soul
(only three???)

Three of Your Favorite Songs at Present:
Boulevard of Broken Dreams-- Green Day
Vertigo- U2
Broken-- Seether featuring Amy Lee of Evanescence

Three New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months:
Ride a motorcycle
Get a tattoo
The South Beach Diet

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given):

Two Truths and a Lie:
truth- I love that crazy Cajun man
truth- I love spinach
lie- I weigh 150 lbs (I wish!)

Three Physical Things About the Opposite Sex (or same) That Appeal to You:

Three Things You Just Can't Do:
Like rap music
Turn to a life of crime no matter how desperate I become
Pretend to like someone I can't stand to make someone else happy

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies:
Long drives to nowhere in particular
Going to the beach (which I can't do in OK because there's no ocean here!)

Three Things You Want to Do Really Badly Right Now:
See Saon
Get out of Oklahoma
Spend money I don't have

Three Careers You're Considering:
Published author

Three Places You Want to Go on Vacation:
New Orleans

Three Kids Names:
Micaela Grace
Nicola Faith
Matthew Bernard

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
Go on a cruise
Travel around the USA by car
Publish my novel (or 2 or 3 or...)

And that's all from where I sit.


Words to think about and try to live by

From Dear Abby, 1 January 2005

JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I'll improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I'll refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat healthily -- if only just for today. And not only that, I'll get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.


I know that I am not perfect. Far from it (ask anyone who knows me). I don't make resolutions, because I know, not being perfect, that I cannot keep said resolutions. I jokingly tell people that I resolve to not make resolutions.

I read the above passage every year in Dear Abby's column, and I always mean to cut it out. This year, I did. It's in my daytimer. Since I use my daytimer all the time, I will always see it, and be reminded that life is lived one day at a time. Not a week, or a month, a year, or even a decade...but one freakin' day at a time!


Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not as much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we are pardoned;
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.


That's all from where I sit.


Saturday, January 01, 2005

Happy New Year!!!

May 2005 be all you hope it will be and more! Thanks for reading MVL in 04. More misadventures in 05, f'sure!

And that's all from where I sit.