Thursday, March 31, 2005

Terri Schiavo died today

I've purposely refrained from commenting on the case of Terri Schiavo, the Florida woman who was in the center of a right to die controversy. Now that it appears to be over upon Terri's death this morning, I wanted to say a few things about the case.

First of all, the government should not have gotten involved in this case. All it was for the politicians was a chance to score Brownie points with the public. They didn't care about Terri, just wanted to make a case for their own beliefs on the subject of who gets to determine if severly handicapped people should live or die. Shame on President Bush, and his brother Jeb, the Governor of Florida. Don't you feel like big shots now? Shame on the numerous Senators and members of Congress who had to get their two cents in there about the subject. Bet your constituents are proud to call you their voice in Washington?

The only people who should have been involved are Terri's husband, who was only trying to carry out what he said were Terri's wishes; and her parents, who probably truly believed that Terri could be rehabilitated.

Secondly, no one who was out there commenting on this case, the people out in front of Terri's hospice, the lawyers who got invloved with the case (either recently or over the long term), or the politicians mentioned in the above paragraph really know what Terri told her husband about her wishes, now did they? The only people who knew what really happened are Terri, her husband, Michael, and maybe a couple of other people. Sadly, Terri didn't write down her wishes nor communicate them to her parents and siblings.

I am truly sorry that Terri is no longer with us. But what kind of life was she having while she was living? Fifteen years in a persistant vegetative state? That's not living, and I think Terri would have agreed with that.

I don't lay blame at anyone's door for this. Michael was trying to carry out Terri's wishes that she not be kept alive under extraordinary means. Her parents, Bob and Mary Schindler, were only trying to see if Terri could be rehabilitated, and any parent would do that for their child, regardless of age.

Where I do lay the blame, however, is with the media, who blew this whole story way out of proportion, and with the politicians who stuck their noses in what should have been a private matter.

Maybe Michael should have given guardianship to Terri's family, and maybe he honestly believed that he was doing right by Terri. That's not for us to know. Perhaps the Schindlers should have seen the situation for what it was: that Terri had no idea what was going on around her, and that even with the best rehab services money could buy, Terri would never be the same person she was before she got sick. They tried their best, and Michael tried his best. Now let Terri rest in peace. She's in a better place where she may be made whole again.

I have fought the good fight, I have stayed the course, I have kept the faith. --2Timothy 4:7

That's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Pass the Tylenol, please

I have this killer headache. I woke up with it this morning and it has left and returned sporadically all day long. And frankly, I'm kinda annoyed it has returned yet again.

I got all of four hours of sleep last night. I had planned on sleeping until 7:30am, but I had to get up at 6am to pee, and after that, I couldn't get back to sleep. Then I had to be at school at 10am, so sleeping for another hour after taking Jeff to school wasn't an option.

In last night's post, I mentioned that Saon sent me an email telling me that he and his ex got back together, and that he's glad I'm in school and doing well. I said something in that post to the effect of that I have mentioned in this blog a couple of times about how Saon and his ex break up and get back together more than any couple I've ever known (and I don't even know her!), and that I was too tired to look up the particular post at that moment.

This morning, I looked up the post. Or rather, posts. There were thirteen entries where I mention both of them by name, and most of those were about his troubles with her, that he was supposedly done with her, yadda yadda yadda.

I know that I should just let him go on with his life, and let him screw it up even more than it already is, but I can't seem to let it go. I know she's bad for him, he's bad for her, but it's not my call. I should just walk off into the sunset and leave them be, but dammit, I still care for the guy, and I don't want to see him get hurt yet again by this thoughtless girl.

But, as I said, it's not my call. I only pray that Saon's happy with his choices. I just want him to be happy, period.

So here I am, dealing with this the best I can with what little sleep I had, and I come home from school this afternoon and there's an email from JC in my inbox.

JC and I have been corresponding via email the whole time I've been in Oklahoma. He's the only one from Massachusetts that I have regular contact with besides Jon. He's been a great friend to me, and I had hoped I could return the favor one day.

That day was today. On Sunday, JC went thru a rather humbling and embarrassing experience, and he told me a little about it in his email. This faltering has forced him to examine his life, and he needs his friends now.

I wrote him an email that I hope conveys how I value him as a friend, and that if there is anything I could do to make this burden he now bears easier, to feel free to lean on me.

(And, please, Lord, I hope I didn't sound condescending or trite in my reply.)

This is a switch: I'm doing better now that I have in the last two years, and my friend has hit a rough patch. I hope and pray that I can be the friend to him that he has been to me.

Lean on me, when you're not strong
I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on

Okay, now for some cool news: Daniel bought his car today! I may have mentioned somewhere that Daniel was looking at getting a 2005 Chevy Cobalt. Today, he bought it! He had a loaner because his actual car won't be ready til tomorrow, but those Cobalts are huge! It's a small car, but it has all kinds of room in it. The trunk is insanely big. Mom joked that one could put a body back there. Daniel took me for a ride and it's a smooth car. Daniel's loaner Cobalt is an automatic, whereas his actual car will be a standard.

Daniel saved his money, did his research (the car guy that he is), and got a good deal on the car. Since he had no credit rating yet, Dean cosigned the loan. If he pays everything on time, the car will be paid for in 5 years. I told Daniel that I am proud of him for saving his money, setting a goal (buy a car) and working to reach that goal. Not bad for a 21 year old, eh? Yeah, I'm one proud mama!

And that's all from where I sit.


Happy Birthday, Jeff!

Number 2 son is 19 today. He, however, doesn't see what the big deal about his birthday is.


Does anyone else remember that song, "Nineteen"? If so, who was the artist? I want to say it's Paul Hardcastle, but I don't think that's right. I do remember that Leonard Nimoy was on the recording saying "nineteen". Nineteen was supposedly the average age of soldiers in the Vietnam war.

Happy bday Jeff! And happy bday to Dean, too. It's also his birthday. Joey's is tomorrow.

And that's all from where I sit.


When Johanna tells you: omgomgomg you gotta read this shit...

I was almost expecting her to tell me that someone that we used to work with in Virginia had gone on to their great reward, but that wasn't the case (whew!)

She had gotten an email about a new anti depressant that's being tested on FMS patients, and thought I might be interested. I am, and I'm going to ask Dean about it when I get a chance. He may know something about this particular anti depressant.

Went to school this morning (3/29) and got out at around three to go home and get ready for the John Mellencamp concert I worked this evening. I made it! Not too many sore spots this time. And Mellencamp puts on one helluva show! If he's in your area, go see him! He hadn't played Oklahoma City since 1986, and it was worth the wait. Just hope he doesn't wait another long stretch of time before coming back.

There's just way too much about the show to put in this post, so I'll come down off the post concert high and write about it tomorrow.

I had a nice surprise in my Yahoo! Mail inbox: Saon wrote me an email. From the "No Surprise" Department: he's gotten back together with his ex wife (again!). I kinda figured he would. I think he's being a fool to give that girl yet another chance, but then again, it's not my life. I only hope that they get it together this time.

And somehow, I've said that before...but I don't feel like looking for the particular post at the moment.

I wrote him back, of course. I hope that we can still keep in touch and that Michele doesn't have a problem with it. She does, if memory serves, and that's how I got that phone call from him a couple of weeks ago... it was a time where she wasn't home or within earshot. Unfortunately, I wasn't home; however, Saon said in his email that he'd try to call soon. I gave him the times I'm home, so the rest is up to him.

I gotta get to bed. It's Jeff's birthday already!

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, March 28, 2005

Where are the parents?

When I picked Jeff up from his night class, we went over to Wal Mart to get dinner. Jeff went ga-ga over the 50% off Easter candy. I was still waiting for him when I got done, so I went to sit on a bench near the arcade our Wal Mart has.

Inside are three little boys, maybe 2, 3, and 5 years old. They are climbing all over the games and other machines, and there are no parents in sight. The littlest one tried to climb on a big gumball machine, which would have toppled over from the added weight.

Remember, no parents in sight.

I'm just sitting there, watching these kids, when a man came over and called them by name. Ahh, the dad, I thought, he's going to give these kids what for...


This pinhead gives his kids quarters to play the games, then WALKS AWAY!

Hello? What's wrong with this picture?

I go over to where Jeff is gawking over the Easter goodies and asked him to come with me. He sees these unsupervised kids, and I asked him if I ever left him and his brothers alone in public at any time when they were that age. He said no.

That's because I never left my kids unsupervised in public. There are just too many things that can happen to little kids these days. Child molesters, kidnappers, and the like...and my question when I see stuff like this is:


I got nervous the first time I let Daniel go to a public men's room alone when he was 5 or 6. I got nervous when he came home at 7am the day after his 21st birthday. I was worried when Jeff didn't call when he said he would from Europe when he went 2 years ago; and when Scott went to the cast party after his play, I was worried then, too.

So it just floors me when parents take all these stupid risks with the safety of their children. What if one of these kids had gotten hurt while goofing around the arcade machines? Whose fault would have been?

A) the parents
B) Wal Mart
C) Any bystander who didn't come to the kids' aid in case of an accident.

I smell lawsuit in the making.

The kids' mother finally shows up and supervises them for the three minutes it took for dad to walk back to the self checkout and run his credit card, while a 4th child (a girl, around 8 to 10 year of age) was bagging the groceries. And I'm still sitting there, forcing myself not to say something to this broad about watching her kids in public. Maybe she thought they were safe in the arcade. But, what if it were someone sitting there intent on doing these kids harm, instead of me?

I shudder to think...

And that's all from where I sit.


Your tomorrow's not the same as today

I was moved to look up these lyrics. I checked out The Ultimate Kansas from the library, and the following song is on this two CD set. I've always liked this song, but now, not having heard it for a while, it has, somehow, greater meaning for me. It reminds me of someone I care deeply for, and how things in their life may have been shaped by things beyond their control.

Baby, I'm always here for you.

Hold On--

(Kerry Livgren)

Look in the mirror and tell me
Just what you see
What have the years of your life
Taught you to be
Innocence dyin' in so many ways
Things that you dream of are lost
Lost in the haze

Hold on, Baby Hold on
'Cause it's closer than you think
And you're standing on the brink
Hold on, Baby Hold on
'Cause there's something on the way
Your tomorrow's not the same as today

Don't you recall what you felt
When you weren't alone
Someone who stood by your side
A face you have known
Where do you run when it's too much to bear
Who do you turn to in need
When nobody's there


Outside your door He is waiting
Waiting for you
Sooner or later you know
He's got to get through
No hesitation and no holding back
Let it all go and you'll know
You're on the right track


And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, March 25, 2005

You say it's your birthday

Today is my cat Columbus' birthday. He was born under the dresser in my bedroom in Norfolk, Virginia 6 years ago today. He was part of a litter of two; unfortunately, his littermate was stillborn and rather deformed.

Columbus got his name when he was 3 weeks old, when he ventured out from under the dresser and out of his mother's protective gaze and made his way across the bedroom floor. I picked him up and told him that since he liked to explore, that I was going to name him Columbus. About that time, his mother came out from under the dresser to retrieve her errant kitten. She picked him up by the scruff of the neck and took him back underneath the dresser.


Today's also Elton John's birthday. Man, I wish I could have seen him at the Ford Center the other night. The show got great reviews.


Yesterday was my former landlord, Paul's, birthday. I sent him an e card, and he opened it, but he's not talking to me. C'mon, man, I know we have an unresolved issue, but at least say "thank you". It's not like I'm trying to get out of said issue, but really, Paul, it's a little beyond my control at this time. Surely even you can appreciate that. Happy Birthday, Paul. I hope you had a great day.


Next Wednesday is Jeff's and Dean's birthdays, and Thursday is Joey's 2nd birthday.


That's all from where I sit.


Thursday, March 24, 2005

A great story of perseverance

This article from yesterday's Oklahoman is about Oklahoma State freshman phenom basketball star JamesOn Curry. Despite a setback and the end of a personal dream, this young man made the best of the situation and kept going with the help of his family and some people who believed in him despite everything he'd been through. I found this story inspirational. I think you might, too, even if you're not following March Madness.

Registration is required to read the article, but IMHO, it's worth it.

That's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, March 23, 2005

I'm about ready to drop

Man, I am so sleepy!

My days have been all about school and learning new things, and I can't wait to go every day. This week, I'm going to learn how to use a program that I can record commercials and liners with.

I'm doing pretty well with the classwork and the air shifts I've been recording sound good for someone who's only been there for three weeks. The writing part is easy for me, but rewriting news is kind of dull; it has to be done, so I do it, but it's one of my least favorite things to do. I love writing commercials, and I like recording them, though I think my voice sounds weird on tape.

Since I have classes tomorrow night, I am going to miss the belated birthday party that my sister is going to have for my niece. As much as I love her, I don't think I want to spend two hours with a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds, and their parents. Amalia had her birthday party at home last year, and I was not real comfortable hanging out with the other kids parents. I don't know why I feel that way. I just do.

It's been over a week since Saon called while I was at school. Guess he doesn't want to talk to me that urgently. Meanwhile, I have a life to live and can't wait by the phone for his call. If he calls, he calls; if he doesn't, he doesn't. I would like to talk to him, though.

I'm still kinda cheesed off about the price of gasoline. Twenty bucks to get half a tank! Insane!!

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

It's finally happened

Gas here is $2.00 a gallon.

Goddamned Bush and his Goddamned war!

This is ridiculous! I got ten bucks worth this morning and it translated to about a quarter tank. At least I'm not in Southern California, where they're paying anywhere from $2.85-$3.35 a gallon!!!

I lay the blame right where it the door of the White House. Bush is all concerned about Terri Schiavo's situation, but he's not paying two buck plus a gallon for gasoline, and apparently not too hot to do anything about it anytime soon.

Welcome to gets a tad warm (thanks, Jeffrey!)

And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, March 19, 2005

I must've been insane...

I went out to the Ford Center yesterday morning and literally stood for 12 hours. I was part of a team that checked handbags, camera bags, backpacks, etc., at the NCAA basketball tournament in Oklahoma City. There were four games yesterday in two sessions (two games in each session), and the Ford Center had to be completely emptied between sessions so that the cleaning crew could do their job.

My feet hurt like a mother when I left! I was assured that events like the tournament were a once-in-an-every-two-or-so-years occurance. Most events at that venue are five to six hours, and I wouldn't be asked to stand for those long periods of time. I have to call in at 10am on Tuesdays to see what assignments are available for the upcoming week. I have the option to pick and choose which events I want to work, so if I didn't want to work at the upcoming John Mellencamp show, I don't have to (I like John Mellencamp, so if I wanted to, I'd work that show).

My muscles in my legs are still really sore, and my feet are still achy, but I think that is from the rheumatoid arthritis more than the long hours standing. I am really sleepy, too. Maybe I'll take a nap before dinner.

Oklahoma State won their game yesterday. They play again tomorrow at the Ford Center. I'm not working tomorrow. I'll watch the game on TV like the rest of the sane folks.

The true meaning of "March Madness"? Twelve thousand people wearing orange and every OSU thing under the sun, the moon and the stars.

Go Eddie* go!

And that's all from where I sit.


*Eddie is Eddie Sutton, the long time coach of the Oklahoma State men's basketball team. He doesn't smile much, but he seems like a nice guy.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

I've been to more places than I realized

It wouldn't fit here, so go here to see this cool map of all the places I've been to. You can do it to. There's a link on the page to follow if you're so inclined.

And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

In the zzzzzzzzzzzone

Sleep is coming easier for me now, but only because I'm exhausted. I'm going to fight thru this and see if it helps.

I prepared to record one of my air shifts today. I had the play list prepared, the news timed at five minutes and my program log filled out. Then, I forgot to record it! What a doofus I am!! So, I'll try it again tomorrow, and I swear I'll get it right this time!

While I was at school last night, Mom said Saon called. I checked the caller ID and there was a number from the New Orleans area code, but it was one I didn't recognize. He didn't call tonight, so I don't know what's up. Perhaps he'll call back or perhaps he won't. It's up to him now, since he told Mom that he'd call back.

I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best. It's all I can do at this point.

That's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, March 15, 2005

I got it!

I start on Friday, so I've had to rearrange my school schedule to accomodate this event. It's not a permanent change, though. The job is on an as needed basis, so I can rearrange the schedule as I need to. Whether I keep the job depends on how I feel physically afterwards. This may be too much for my body to handle at this time. We'll see.

I could sure use the money, though.

That's all from where I sit.


Monday, March 14, 2005

"Stay As You Are"

This song is heard in one of the current Nissan Xterra ads. I liked the lyrics and did a search for them. The band is called Span, who hail from Norway. They sound a lot like Collective Soul, but the song wasn't listed on the track listing of Collective Soul's release, "Youth".

Stay As You Are --Span
from the CD Mass Distraction

I’ve always been skeptical of people praising their conformity
guys taking great pride in being like the others
like their mothers-in-law wanted

Does my tie fit alright?
Is my fly up and tight?

Stay as you are and you won’t make a difference
stay as you are and you will never mean a thing
stay as you are and you won't make a difference
I hope your full control in your little hole is worth it

I’ve never thought that to reach the masses
you stick your tongue up in the right asses
but that’s the system that works in here
you make yourself appear electable

I’ll just play whatever your game

you go first I’ll do the same

Stay as you are and you won’t make a difference
stay as you are and you will never mean a thing
stay as you are and you won't make a difference
I hope your full control in your little hole is worth it
Is it worth it?

wooooh x4

You brag about being an autonomous man in an autonomous land
of independence and free thinking,
but it’s been five years pm
and you’re still nothing but a lackey,
a puppet on a string

I’ll look great when the war is over
I’ll be waving from my rover

Stay as you are and you won’t make a difference
stay as you are and you will never mean a thing
stay as you are and you won't make a difference
I hope your full control in your little hole is worth it

I hope your full control in your little hole is worth it x3

Wow! Harsh! Sad thing is, I know people like this. The message every one of us hears is to conform and no one gets hurt. Well, conformity is boring. I'm not like anyone else. I'll conform only so far, but if it means that I have to be like everyone else under the sun, then forget it! I didn't get this far in life without taking some risks and pissing off some people along the way.

And I'm apparently really good at pissing people off.

And that's all from where I sit.


After basically giving up on the getting a job thing

I may have a job.

This is just fell into my lap. At school today, someone had mentioned that he had seen two concerts in the last week. I mentioned that I wish I could go see Elton John when he came to the Ford Center next week, because the last time I saw him in concert was nearly 23 years ago (some friends and I went as a graduation gift to ourselves), this guy said that he worked as a security guard at the Ford Center and that there were jobs available with the security company he worked for. He gave me the name, phone number, and contact name for this place, and I called them when I got home from class today. I have an interview tomorrow morning!

This would be, if I get it, a "part part time" gig. I would work whenever there was a big event at the Ford Center, that the job isn't an everyday thing. Right now, I'll take anything to get a little money for myself.

We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Just yesterday, I told my mom that things will start looking up because I want them to. And it looks like it did!

(Thanks, JC! It works!)

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, March 13, 2005

Throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks

Why are Sundays so damned boring? This Sunday was no different.

Yesterday was nice and sunny and in the 80's. Signs of thing to come, I hope. Today, it was damned cold in comparison.

I saw an old car in the parking lot at WalMart on Saturday. It was a Ford Falcon. My dad owned two of them, and it's the first car I remember as a child. And, like the one I remember, it was blue.

I miss my dad...sigh.

This week is Spring Break. Jeff has no classes, and Scott and Marc are going to Dean's parents house in Enid with Amalia later this week. The only one who has school this week is me.

I am so sleepy. I think I'll go to bed.

Or not.

That's all from where I sit.


Saturday, March 12, 2005

Brave and crazy, maybe...

You Are Bold And Brave

But daring? Not usually?

You tend to like to make calculated risks.

So while you may not be base jumping any time soon...

You are up for whatever's new and (a little) exciting!

Another Blogthings thing.

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, March 11, 2005

Tired as hell...

but it's sooooo worth it!

I've only been there a week and I've already learned so much. Being a disc jockey is so much more than a great voice. But, I am up to the challenge.

And the people there, both staff and fellow students, are so nice, so encouraging. It makes learning so much easier. That's a good thing for me because I like to be challenged and encouraged. I didn't get that in high school or the two years of college I had. Without challenging material and encouragement from the staff/teachers, I zone out, get bored. It's not like that in school now, and I think it's because the staff schedules one on one time with each student. If I'm doing something wrong, I want to know right away what it is, so I can correct it before it becomes a habit.

I'm looking forward to next week! I've never been so excited about learning something new. Something that could possibly change my life for the better.

Now if I could only get my mom to understand. All she's worried about is how much in gasoline it's going to take to get me there and back each day. I figure the van needs gas anyway, and it's not like I'm filling up any more than before I started classes. The van needs a tune up. I think that if we can somehow tune up the van, it'll get better gas mileage and not need to be gassed up as often.

But, we shall see...

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, March 10, 2005

Stef, meet pillow...

oh, I see you've already met. Oops! My bad.

I am soooooo tired. I've GOT to get to bed. 'Night.

And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Maybe I'll actually get some decent sleep this way

So far, school has been quite interesting. Today, I wrote news stories. The only real complaint is that I am physically exhausted to the point of literally falling into bed and being asleep before my head hits the pillows. Which is great on the nights I have class, but three days a week, I have morning classes, and being exhausted at 3 or 4 in the afternoon when there is still so much of the day left to go doesn't help me much. But, not much pain, because I can get up and walk around and stretch and "get the kinks out". The only painful part of the day is when I use the computers in the news lab. They're too low for me and it kills my back, which then affects everything else. I came home this afternoon with a killer headache.

Mom still doesn't seem too thrilled about my going to school, but I guess she really has no choice now that I've started. She knows that I have grants and a student loan that helped me get there, so she really can't complain. It's not like I asked her for the money to attend this school. When I left this morning, all she said was, "whatever". Not "have a good day" or anything along those lines. She doesn't ask me how school went when I get home. Maybe she thinks that if she's unpleasant about it, that I'll feel guilty and quit? Not a chance!!

But now, I don't really care what other people think. I'm doing this for me and no one else.

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Guess it's time to spill the beans

On Monday, I started classes at a trade school here in OKC. I'd been looking forward to this since the beginning of the year. It'll mean a new start, a new life. I am, I guess, reinventing myself.

I'm going to broadcasting school. I'm learning how to someday work in radio. This is something that people have been telling me I should do for at least 20 years; so, roughly, half my life. So now, I'm doing it! And I couldn't be more thrilled!

I will be learning all aspects of the radio broadcast industry: in addition to being an on air personality, I'll also be learning news and commerical writing, producing, advertising sales, FCC rules and regs, and much more. I will be prepared to work at any radio station, anywhere, doing anything at that station that is asked of me.

And, when I get close to graduation, I'll get assistance in finding my first radio job.

Did I mention that I am totally excited about this big step in my life?

Better get to bed. I have class at 10am.

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, March 07, 2005

Ugh. (Rant continued)

The busybodies are here.

Mom just said something about she has to ask them to find out about her own family. They also clean my sister's house.

And THAT is why I don't want my life as gossip fodder for these two. My life is mine, and I certainly don't need them talking about me to my sister. My sister already has a low opinion of me, so I don't need any more stress in my life from anything she may hear from these bitches.

They were here when I got back from taking Jeff to school. There goes my shower! I'll have to take a "whore's bath" when they leave, if I have time.

I have classes today! More on that later.

And that's all from where I sit.


OhMyGod! A Blast From the Past!

Jeff found this on the internet recently: the website for the one Navy ship his dad was stationed on. Jon was on the USS Jarrett (FFG-33) from October 1984 to Jaunary 1988. When Jon first reported aboard, Daniel wasn't even a year old yet; he was 4 when we left. Jeff was born about 18 months into Jon's tour of duty.

Funny thing is, I'd heard somewhere that the Jarrett had been decomissioned. It was overhauled in 1989 and 1990 (or thereabouts), so it's apparently a much better ship than it was when Jon served on her.

(And why are ships named after men, but referred to with female pronouns?)

I think it was about five years ago, Jarrett had the first female Commanding Officer to go into battle. Back in 1985, no women served on that ship. It was just too small for cohabitation (or so I'd been led to believe). My how things change.

Another change: she's now stationed in San Diego. She'd always been part of the battle group stationed there, but while Jon served on her, Jarrett was stationed at the Long Beach Naval Base (now since closed).

Pardon me while I wax nostalgic on y'all...

Those were the good years for our family. When we were all young and naive...then real life takes over and screws you up for life.

All in all, I'm glad Jarrett's still out there, still an active ship. Long may she wave!

Image hosted by

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, March 06, 2005

Just another boring Sunday...

There is absolutely nothing on TV, no place to go, and nothing but to do but sleep, read, or watch the absolutely nothing on TV.


Some brilliant state legislator authored a bill that would raise the price of gasoline throughout the state. The way I understand it, it would force all gas stations in Oklahoma to charge the same inflated price for gasoline. Stores like 7-11 are opposed to it because there would no longer be competition, and that would force them to raise their prices on everything else.

Gas prices are high enough, thank you. I can barely afford them now. I think I will be making a call to my state legislator to tell them to vote no on this proposed law. We, the voting public, apparenly don't get a say in any of this.

Read this article from KOCO-TV and make up your own mind. And, if it passes here, what's going to stop other states from following Oklahoma's lead??


Tomorrow is the big day. The day I begin to reinvent myself. More on this later.


I have a hedache. I need to scare up some Tylenol.


That's all from where I sit.


Friday, March 04, 2005

At least this karma runs...

You Have Good Karma

In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others.

Your caring personality really shines through.

Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out.

But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark sports.

Another Blogthings thing.

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, March 03, 2005

Attack of the Giant Solid Chocolate Easter Bunny!!

...more on that in a sec

This was one of those days where we actually had a full tank of gas, and Jeff just had to go someplace today. Actually, three someplaces (I vetoed the 4th place). Guess who drove?

Jeff has a project for his English class where he was to read a book, then tomorrow, the whole class does an outline of their chosen book for use in writing a paper on said book. Jeff's book was Joseph Heller's Catch-22. He hasn't finished it yet, so his big idea was to get the audio book version and listen to the last part of the book so he can be prepared for doing the outline.

First stop-- Barnes and Noble at Memorial and May. We go in there and Jeff asks about whether they have the book in an audio version. They don't. Meanwhile, I'm looking around on my own and end up in the "New Age" section. There I see many of the books that JC has suggested I read. Good thing most of them are available thru the library, because these books ain't cheap!

I go in search of my now missing 2nd born and call out his name, and an employee turns around and goes, "yes, can I help you?" (Not, "how'd you know my name?"). I apologized and explained that Jeff was my son's name, and of course, Jeff shows up at just that moment in answer to my call.

Since Barnes and Noble don't have the audiobook, we head over to...

Second stop-- Waldenbooks in Quail Springs Mall. Same story there, they don't have Catch-22 on audio either. They suggest that we go over to Books A Million across Memorial and down the road from the mall and check with them. I was hungry at this point and told Jeff that I wanted lunch before we headed over to the necxt bookstore. We went to the Food Court and had lunch.

In a recent past post, I wondered why the Cajun fast food place had Asian employees. Now I know why-- the place is in essence a Chinese place, with no Cajun specialties to be had. No jambalaya, no po' boys, no muffaletta, no red beans and rice, no Cajun food of any kind! So how can they call themselves "Famous Cajun Grille"? I was going to ask the Asian man behind the counter, but cooler heads prevailed, though the man did ask if I wanted a sample of his wares.

As we were leaving the mall, there was this new store that sold chocolate confections, chocolate covered apples and stuff like that. In one corner on a counter, there was the biggest chocolate Easter Bunny we'd ever seen. Jeff asked if it were real was told that it was, then he asked if it was solid, and again, it was. It had to be at least 3 1/2 feet tall and weigh like 50 lbs!!! Jeff said that that was what he wanted for Easter, and that it would take him and his three brothers to even make a dent in it. I told Jeff it would probably kill him from overdosing on chocolate, to which he replied, "Born on Easter, die on Easter!" (Jeff was born on Easter Sunday in 1986).

After that, we went over to...

Third stop-- Books A Million on Memorial at Penn (I think). They didn't have it either and they suggested that we go to the Borders on Northwest Expressway. It was at that point I said "no way" to that plan. I was tired and I wanted to go home. I told Jeff that when we got home, to call Borders and any other book stores to see if they had it before I'd take him anywhere else. So, we went home.

Jeff called Borders, and several other bookstores and none of them had Catch-22 on audio. Jeff decided at this point to borrow the video from the library. By the time he decided that, I was upstairs and out like a light on the couch. We ended up going after dinner.

He got the video, hooked up the VCR, and after his grandmother went to bed, he popped it into the machine. Damned tape was defective! There was no sound! He had tested the VCR and knew that other tapes he put in it were fine, so he concluded that his video was messed up.

Oh. Great.

Guess he has to pull an all nighter and read the book after all. Poor baby....

And that's all from where I sit.


You have been warned: I'm gonna rant about...

people who can't keep their noses outta other people's lives.

On Monday, I'm going to begin classes at a local vocational school as part of the process to make a long time dream of mine come true. Ever since I told my mother I was definitely going to do it, she's been trying to talk me out of it. She got the ammunition for this from the busy bodies who clean the house every two weeks.

Mom had mentioned to this nosy mother-daughter team that I was going back to school, and the daughter had all kinds of horror stories about going to another vocational school here in the area and had a bad experience with it. Ever since then, Mom has been doing her best to discourage me.

I haven't held a full time job for going on three years now, primarily because of my FMS. I finally decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something with my life. Going back to school is what I decided to do. You'd think that Mom would be thrilled that I finally was going to do something constructive, but noooooooooo (thank you, John Belushi!). All she's done is belittle my efforts and discouraging me from achieving this goal (one she herself suggested to me years ago, no less). It's almost like she wants me to be her "go-fer", doing her banking and shopping for her, for the rest of my days. Then she complains that I am not bringing in an income to help her out. Since I can't find work here, and I am having a bitch of time getting Disability and SSI, I thought I'd go to school to get new skills and find another line of work.

Then she tells these busybodies, these bitches with no real life, what my plans are, and they give her the idea that it might not be a good idea for me to go to school. First of all, I do NOT like having MY life discussed with people who are virtual strangers to me; Secondly, what I do with MY life is NONE OF THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!! If I were doing something illegal or immoral, then I can see the concern from my mom's point of view, but I'm just going back to school to obtain new skills! I'm not a meth addict or something like that, I'm not going to sell myself on the streets...I'm just going to school!!! Why can't anyone be happy about this POSITIVE change in my life??

Some people should keep their noses outta MY PERSONAL BUSINESS. If I wanted you to know my plans, I'd have told you myself. So go fuck yourselves. I hope you both lose your shirts in Vegas.

/end rant

That's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I stole it from her, who stole it her, and so on, and so on, and so on

(Actually, I stole it from JaG who stole it from non girlfriend, who stole it from someone else)

I AM: divorced, female and 41 years old.
I HAVE: four sons, an ex husband, and an "on again/off again" (currently off, I think) boyfriend.
I WISH: more of my offline friends had blogs
I HATE: people who try to shove their beliefs down my throat, convinced their view is the only view.
I FEAR: that I will never again be loved.
I HEAR: the TV, my mom bitching at the TV, and the dryer.
I WONDER: if my cat Columbus is okay.
I REGRET: leaving Massachusetts.
I LOVE: Saon. Whether he still loves me is a matter of conjecture
I ALWAYS: am exhausted and in some sort of pain.
I AM NOT: a flake.
I DANCE: when no one is watching.
I SING: all the time.
I CRY: at the drop of a hat at the dumbest things.


YOU KEEP A DIARY: Yes; both a blog and a spiral notebook diary.
YOU LIKE TO COOK: Oh, hell yeah!
YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: Yes, but if I told anyone, no one would believe me

DO YOU...?

HAVE A CRUSH: Yes, but he'll never know. It's not like I could ever have him.
WANT TO GET MARRIED: Again? Not unless he's someone very special to make me change my mind.
GET MOTION SICKNESS: Usually, no. But I have been known to toss my cookies on boats.
THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: LMAO...would I be overweight if I were? I do try to watch what I eat, but I'm not obsessive about it (maybe I should be, ya think?)
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: Reddish brown with more grey than I'd like to see.
BIRTHPLACE: San Francisco


COLOR: orange
DAY: Thursday.
MONTH: September.
SONG: Burning Bright by Shinedown.
DRINK: Pepsi, iced tea and lemonade

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Wherein Tank's Grrl rants about...

random strangers who contact me through Yahoo! Mess-up-enger.

What caliber of whacko do I attract? The ones who want to talk about sex, show me their privates on their webcams (believe me, if you've see one penis, you've pretty much seen them all), and make jokes about my user name, try_me_on_4sighs.

There's no sexual implications in that user name, which I have been using since 1999. I got the idea for it from the tag in a nightshirt I used to have. It's just a clever play on words.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. So there :P

There are a lot of lonely, desparate men on the internet. They're looking to get their jollies any way they can, and they search the Yahoo ID listings looking for a willing and available female. There are a lot of lonely women who use the internet, too.

I am NOT, repeat NOT, one of them. I don't need to find companionship on the internet. I have no problem finding friends in real life, where my life is quite grounded, thankyouverymuch.

And what is the fascination with webcams, anyway? If I had one, I'd probably only use it when I talk to people I know in real life over the internet. There were times I wish I had one when Saon and I were doing a lot of talking thru Yahoo Messenger, but never had the finances to get one. Personally, I'd rather have a camera phone or a digital camera than a webcam. Then again, my computer is so ancient, it wouldn't support a webcam anyway. I don't have a USB port to plug it into. I don't know if there is an adapter or not. Not that it's that important to me. I've lived this long without it. I'm probably not missing much.

I'd rant about certain other things here, but there are some things I want to keep to myself and only tell the offline (i.e. a plain old spiral notebook) journal I keep. As long as I get it off my chest and not let it fester inside me, it doesn't matter what format it's in. I like the online blogs, but sometimes, not even that will help me get it out of my system. I actually have to write the words down on paper with a pen. Only then, will they be real. Then, if I choose, I can tear that page into a million tiny pieces and call it done.

Oh...if you have not had the pleasure to listen to Leave a Whisper by Shinedown, I suggest that you give it a listen. It really kicks ass! These guys are damn good, and they have a sound all their own, with influences from Skynyrd to Zeppelin to the popular bands of right now. Their cover of "Simple Man" is first rate. "45" and "Burning Bright" are destined to be classics. Of course, that is just my humble opinion.

That's all from where I sit.


I had something profound to say

I know I did...but damned if I can't remember what it is!!

Guess if it's important, I'll remember it later.

That's all from where I sit.