Saturday, December 31, 2005

They say black is slimming...

do I look thinner?

And who the hell are "they" anywho?

I just thought it was time for a change. A new look for the New Year and all that crap.

There may be some things missing, or in a different place. I'll get it all together eventually. The basic premise of me keeping a blog hasn't changed. I'm still going to say whatever the hell I want, and not censor myself. You told me to be myself...

Some good news: Vincent might get out of the hospital tomorrow (today?)! Yay! That goofball... 90 minutes after he gets out of surgery, he's calling me on the phone. Obviously, things went well... LOL

So happy freaking New Year's eve. This time tomorrow, it'll be 2006. And, NO, I'm not making any stinkin' New Years Resolutions. Why make 'em if I'm not going to keep 'em? Okay, maybe one: I resolve not to make any resolutions (thanks, Ron!).

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, December 30, 2005

"I must do what I say decent individuals should do."

You're probably aware of the adventure an American teenager took to travel to Iraq. He went without his parents knowledge to see first hand the way ordinary Iraqis live and struggle to have a democratic goverment. Farris Hassan is on his way home to Fort Lauderdale now, but he wrote an essay that tells me that his intentions were noble, but the actions he took to implement his plans were kind of dumb.

Here is his essay:

There is a struggle in Iraq between good and evil, between those striving for freedom and liberty and those striving for death and destruction. You are aware of the heinous acts of the terrorists: Women and children massacred, innocent aid workers decapitated, indiscriminate murder.

You are also aware of the heroic aspirations of the Iraqi people: liberty, democracy, security, normality. Those terrorists are not human but pure evil. For their goals to be thwarted, decent individuals must answer justice's call for help. So I will.

Life is not about money, fame, or power. Life is about combating the forces of evil in the world, promoting justice, helping the misfortunate, and improving the welfare of our fellow man.

Progress requires that we commit ourselves to such goals. We are not here on Earth to hedonistically pleasure ourselves, but to serve each other and the creator. What deed is greater than sacrificing one's luxuries for the benefit of those less blessed? I know I can't do much. I know I can't stop all the carnage and save the innocent. But I also know I can't just sit here.

I feel guilty living in a big house, driving a nice car, and going to a great school. I feel guilty hanging out with friends in a cafe without the fear of a suicide bomber present. I feel guilty enjoying the multitude of blessings, which I did nothing to deserve, while people in Iraq, many of them much better then me, are in terrible anguish.

This inexorable guilt I feel transforms into a boundless empathy for the distress of the misfortunate and into a compassionate love for my fellow man.

Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless the one who gives them.

Going to Iraq will broaden my mind. We kids at Pine Crest (School) live such sheltered lives. I want to experience during my Christmas the same hardships ordinary Iraqis experience everyday, so that I may better empathize with their distress. I also want to immerse myself in their environment in order to better comprehend the social and political elements.

I plan on doing humanitarian work with the Red Cross. I will give my mind, body, and spirit to helping Iraqis rebuild their lives. Hopefully I will get the chance to build houses, distribute food supplies, and bring a smile or two to some poor children. I know going to Iraq will be incredibly risky.

There are thousands of people there that desperately want my head. There are millions of people there that mildly prefer my demise merely because I am American. Nevertheless, I will go there to love and help my neighbor in distress, if that endangers my life, so be it. If I know what is needed and what is right, but do not act on my moral conscience, I would be a hypocrite. I must do what I say decent individuals should do.

I want to live my days so that my nights are not full of regrets. Therefore, I must go.

Perhaps there will be an opportunity for Farris to do what he set out to do. Within reason, and maybe, accompanied by one or both of his parents. As I said, his intentions are noble: not many 16 year olds have the compassion to think of someone other than themselves and their wants and needs. Farris was thinking of those who are less fortunate than himself. Those people he wants to help are not just people in a country on the other side of the globe. They're his neighbors, and even though they are in a country on the other side of the globe, they're still people. More power to Farris Hassan and his noble goals.

If only other teenagers thought the way Farris thinks, perhaps there will be peace on Earth one day.

And that's all from where I sit.


Thinking good thoughts

In my post from December 25, I mentioned that my friend, Vincent, was in the hospital. This morning, he was scheduled to have surgery. He thinks that after that, he's going to be in school at 8am on Monday.

Well, he has been through this same thing before, so he should know what his limitations are. But, he is in Enid, and Oklahoma City is two and some hours away.

I hope everything went well this morning, so Vincent could keep his crazy timetable for being at school in OKC on Monday. Hopefully, he won't try to do too much too soon, and take a little time to recover.

Thinking good thoughts for you, my friend...

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, December 29, 2005

42 days til my 42nd birthday


However, I do not ascribe to the Elvis Presley theory of a normal human lifespan: 42 and out. I still gotta alotta livin' to do!

But, geez... I can't believe I'm going to be that old. Jeff will be 20 in March!

Like I said before, I still have a lot of living to do; that's my plan for the next 42 years-- just live my life.


I received an email today from the program director of a radio station in Missouri. I had sent him and the station owner an abbreviated version of my package, and they liked what they heard. They want me to come up there for an interview! It's only a 6 hour drive from here.

Now I really need to get that new battery! ...and a tune up. ...and an oil change.


And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Wooden Cat steps out

sort of...

I'm thinking about dressing the Wooden Cat that my sister got me for Christmas up for different holidays. I realize that I'll probably have to make the costumes myself, but that will be half the fun.

Maybe I'll even have a separate blog for the pictures I want to take of ...him? her? it?

Jon-- I want my REAL cat back!

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Oklahoma hairdresser

It does absolutely NO GOOD WHATSOEVER to fix your hair, because the wind will rearrange that as soon as you step outside.

Along with the wind comes the fires because it's so damn dry. There was a grass fire in the rural area of Edmond near the house yesterday. Jeff and I saw it when we were headed out to the mall yesterday.

Some rain would be nice. Dry grass minus rain equals disasters waiting to happen.


I don't have any plans for New Year's yet. I probably won't, either. Just sit home and watch the ball drop.

Whoop. eee.


And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, December 26, 2005


somehow, I kinda knew you would.

even if you're not, and you see this in January, it's cool.

i like that you come to visit once in a while.

And that's all from where I sit.


The Mall after Christmas: big mistake!

Whatever possessed Jeff and me to venture out to Quail Springs Mall, I have no clue. We must have had a simultaneous lapse in common sense, because we got there and the parking lot was absolutely packed! And the inside of the mall was worse!

It's official: me and my #2 son are temporarily insane!

I'm not going anywhere tomorrow! I swear!

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas...

It was okay, I guess, as Christmases go. I didn't get anything I really needed. Then again no one really asks me what I need. Mom gave me cash, and Tori gave me some stuff that I really don't need. Melvin and Gloria gave me a scarf that Gloria knitted with some funky yarn. It's really nice.

Vincent called me while we were eating dinner and left a message to wish me a Merry Christmas, and to tell me that he's in the hospital! When I called him later from home, he told me that he was admitted last night! I can't think of anything more depressing than spending Christmas in the hospital. He thinks he might be there past January 2, when he's supposed to go back to school. And he's only got a week to go until graduation, too!

And, I got another email from Saon, and apparently he's been out of work for a couple of months, and lost a job he was supposed get because his license was taken from him due to unpaid fines. Knowing how much he hates this time of year, this doesn't do much for his mood or his state of mind.

I wish for Vincent to get well and get out of the damned hospital, and for Saon's fortunes to improve.

And I want to find a job in radio. Please, Lord, before New Years, and before my birthday in Feburary! Gotta keep at it...

Anf that's all from where I sit.


Friday, December 23, 2005

i am so tired...

The only things that keep me going these days are the hope of getting a radio job soon, and the weird daydreams I've been having. Not so much weird as distracting. They even creep into my night dreams, too.

I'm trying to email a copy of my aircheck to a man in Missouri, but my email program isn't cooperating. I asked Jeff to help me, but he's conveniently not here at the moment.

We didn't see the need to get a tree this year, but there are still presents galore downstairs, waiting for Santa (aka Daniel) to pick them up and take them to my sister's house. We're going to have Christmas at her house again this year.

Funny that no one asks me what I want or need for Christmas, so I will probably won't get anything I need again this year. I think Mom is planning to give money to all the adults in the family.

There is so much I need.... but I'll probably end up getting those things myself. No one in my family reads this blog, so they won't know about it. And asking for these things would just make me look greedy in the eyes of my family. Mostly, it's stuff that I think will help me in my search for a new job.

But, it's not really about me, is it?

I can't really afford to get anyone anything. Maybe just good wishes, but all anyone will remember is that I didn't give "gifts".

I don't wish being in this position on anyone. I'd love to be able to give my family and friends "gifts". But for now, good wishes are all I have to give.

Maybe that will be my next post.

And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Shopping's done (because I said so)

If I have to listen to any more Christmas music, I think I'll scream!

All the stores play it all day long, and it's getting very old, IMHO.

But, the shopping's done, simply because I say it is. You won't be able to get me anywhere near a store or mall until January, if I have my way.


Yesterday was Jon's birthday. He called Daniel to wish him a happy birthday. Daniel didn't seem too impressed, because Daniel's birthday was last week. "At least he could have called me on my birthday," Daniel said.

Jon's excuse was because he didn't have any time on his cell phone last week. Dude, ever hear of a pay phone?

And it's still all about Jon, from Jon's point of view. Perhaps Daniel should be happy his dad called him at all. At least I didn't have to remind him to call.


I want to bake some cupcakes, but Mom doesn't have a muffin pan, and I can't buy one before Christmas. Maybe I can borrow one from Tori. There's a thought...


And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, December 19, 2005

God help me...

I'm hot and bothered and I can't do a damn thing about it!

Okay, I wrote a rather steamy short story (still ongoing), but that only makes it worse. I don't know what's gotten into me the last day or so. My mind is conjuring up all these tantalizing scenarioes, and I'm just along for the ride.

Ride 'em cowboy!

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, December 18, 2005

Christmas shopping hell

Crowded mall parking lot, crowded mall, getting pushed and elbowed...

and that was just in the Food Court! Just imagine if I tried to get into a store!

The WalMart near the house was like that, too. Crowded. I parked out in the "north forty" and had to "hike in".

If I were able to swing it, I would've done all my shopping online. I really hate the crowds at the mall this time of year. It just doesn't seem like that people are all that nice when they're Christmas shopping, what with all the pressure and deadlines and "What should I get for...", and all.

Oh, please! If they should be nice any time of year, Christmas time should be it. Maybe I'd believe people when they wish me "Happy Holiday" (or whatever the politically correct phrase is these days).

I have my Christmas wishes that don't have anything to do with stuff you can buy. Maybe later in the week, I'll look that list up and post it here. I don't remember if I posted it last year or not.

And maybe, I'll post my wishes for my friends.

Those don't cost anything.

And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, December 17, 2005

Nothing a little embarrassment won't cure

The only thing I'm going to say about this: that kind of thing just doesn't happen to me!

I was really looking forward to today, though. *sigh*

They say good things comes in threes... or it is bad things that do? I tend to think it's bad things because this is the 3rd day in a row something, ahem, unpleasant has happened to me. All right, enough already! I've gotten the message... loud and clear!

And that's all from where I sit.


PS: thanks for understanding. You're a peach!

Jib Jab!

Yes, I have seen the new production from those crazy like a fox Spiridelis brothers, thank you very much!

If you haven't caught on TV yet, it's always at Check it out!

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, December 15, 2005

I could tell you about

all the bad stuff that happened today, like running out of gas, Mom being mad at me because she misunderstood something I told her, traffic jams, and having a concert at Marc's school sprung on me at the last minute...

But I won't.

Instead, I'll tell you that I went to a Christmas party at school; I did a practice show that turned out pretty good; that Larry liked the Chirstmas card I gave him (or at least that's what he told me); going to the last minute concert at Marc's school, which was quite good; and Daniel's belated birthday dinner at Zio's in Bricktown.

Those were the good things.

Now, if I could just get one of those 50+ radio stations to hire me, things would be damn near perfect...

except for the part about wishing I had someone to share it with. If that would happen, then life would be okay for me. The rest will have to work itself out in time.

I think I need to write something.


And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

And now ...without further adieu...

The latest installment of Stef's Horrorscope:

Stephanie's Daily Aquarius Forecast

Quickie: Your creativity has been neglected lately. Immerse yourself in art, color and song.

Overview: It's not an unfamiliar state of affairs for you, but your emotions are quite erratic at the moment. Fortunately, the intensity that accompanies that situation isn't unfamiliar to you either. Now how about talking to someone about it?

Daily extended (by
Sure, you're all over the map right now, what with work, socializing, errand-running and, in all likelihood, some rather interesting romantic developments. Losing your head would be one response, and so would getting so stressed out that you can't enjoy the good elements of this busy season. Luckily your powers of communication are amped up, letting you vent in ways that keep those around you both intrigued and amused.

Maybe that's whyI'm feeling blue...

Naaah... I know what it is that's got me in a deep blue funk. I'm working on it... really!

Working on getting out of it...

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Don't mind me...

I'm just blue.

I know why, and I'll get over it.

That is all.

And that's all from where I sit.


And I see Keith, and Sam, and duff, and Hannie...

Does anyone else remember "Romper Room" besides me? I always wondered (or at least when I was a little kid) how she knew who I was when she looked thru her Magic Mirror. I didn't realize it had been on as recently as 1994. By the time I had kids, I thought it had long since gone off the air.


Daniel is moaning and groaning about turning 22 on Wednesday! Geez, kid, gimme a break! When I was your age, I had your brother Jeff! I told Daniel that when Marc turned 22 (he's 12 now), then he could bitch about being old (though I wouldn't mind being 32 again, except without the drama that year had in store for me).

Good Lord...Daniel will be 22 years old! My how time flies...


I hope I get a paycheck tomorrow. Or the money I'm supposed to be from school for the overage in my tuition. The van really needs a new battery! And a tune up. And another oil change!

In addition to the other things I had earmarked for that money...


Tomorrow (or later today by the looks of it), I'll be makin' copies of my resume again. Man, that initial run of 50 went fast!

I had applied at several OKC area radio stations, and have yet to hear from any of them! I started emailing people, and a lot of the emails were bounced back. By the time I got to KHBZ-FM (popularly known as 94.7 The Buzz), and that email came back as well, I decided to go to their website to see if there was another email I could send it to.

Right there on their site, was a message that due to a lack of common sense (more or less), the morning guy, and the program director (the guy I had written to) had been canned.

Guess I won't be workin' for The Buzz if they don't have a program director, or if the guy or gal who is acting as the program director decides not to acknowledge I sent something for their review. I'll call them and ask who I should speak to/write to instead.


Gotta have faith...

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, December 12, 2005

Pssst! Hey, you...

Thanks for "peeking".

I like it that you read my blog.

Just thought I'd let you know.

And that's all from where I sit.


Oh, well... at least someone wrote back, instead of just letting me twist in the wind...

I got an email from a program director in Michigan that I had send my package to last week, telling me that he really needed someone with a little more experiecne than I have. Especially, he says, if he's going to bring someone in from out of state.

So, remembering something I heard in one of Larry's lectures, I wrote a thank you email, thanking him for taking the time to consider me for the position he had.

I think a lot of the stations I sent packages to decided that they didn't need me, and didn't even bother to write, or call, and tell me so. I'm a big grrl, I can handle bad news.

I wrote to several of them over the weekend, asking if they got my stuff, and if so, had they had a chance to listen to it. Maybe I'll hear something from those, I don't know.

And yeah, I'm a little disappointed, but, hell, I'll get over it. I can't be all things to all people. But how can i get the experience if no one will give me a chance?

There is a station out there, somewhere, that will take a chance and hire a rookie from out of state. I'm not going to give up now! I've worked too hard to get to this point!

I've got to keep the faith...

And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, December 10, 2005

Outstanding in the parking lot

WTF happened to my post?

I wrote about work today, about the scalpers at the OU basketball game, about a program director who called me from a station in Wisconsin...


I think I'm a little more than pissed off...

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, December 09, 2005

Some people! (add sarcasm here)

I went down to the school last night to do an air show, just to keep in practice. Larry put me in the internet studio, and I had a great time doing my show.

During the last half hour or so of my 4 hour show, I got two phone calls on my cell. One was from a number I didn't recognize, and one said "unknown" on the display. I didn't answer either of them because I was, well, doing a show. And that I didn't have many minutes left. I'd answer it if it were Mom or someone from the family, everyone else would have to wait until I got more minutes.

I was hanging out in Larry's office after my show, and after everyone in the night class had left, and I felt my phone buzz. As I took the phone out of my pocket, I inadvertantly answered it. Knowing I had less than five minutes, I would make it quick.

Well, the person on the other end of the line was someone who had seen my ad in Radio and Records (or Radio World, I don't remember which. I wrote ads for both at Ben's request after I took my final). Almost immediately, he starts a sales pitch by saying he'd talked to other grads of the school, and he was told (supposedly, because he could be lying for all I know) that the airchecks they made at school were really poor, and that this guy had a studio in Dallas where I could make a better one.

I told him that I was on my cell, and that I didnt have many minutes left, so he gave me his name, number (and that he would be awake until 4am!), and his website. He had spent the better part of four minutes dissing the school, and playing up the fact he had this studio in Dallas. He allegedly had worked at one of the local oldies stations in OKC, but I'd never heard of him. Then again, unless it was in the last three years, the chances were good that I'd never heard of him.

I hung up with this guy and told Larry what he had said. Larry said that he had the same equipment at the school that this guy probably had in his fancy studio in Dallas. I considered that the guy was calling all the people who had ads in that particular publication who had attended the same school (and the school has four campuses), so he could offer them the same thing he offered me, then charge me for the studio time.

One, there is no way I'm going to drive all the way to Dallas, especially not in this weather; and two, i'm not going to part with what little cash I manage to hang on to just so I could take this man up on his offer. I am satisfied with the aircheck I have now, thank you. And I can redo my aircheck, if need be, free of charge.

This man had a lot of gall to insult the school by saying its equipment is not the same quality as what he's got, and to suggest that I'd want to come to Dallas to make another recording.

I just can't believe I wasted 5 minutes talking to the guy! What if there was an emergency at home? I wouldn't have been able to talk to anyone!

I got more time for my cell this morning, so that point is moot now.

Working an OU basketball game tomorrow. This'll be fun.... unless i have to stand all day, then it won't be fun.

That's all from where I sit.


Damn, it's cold...


Inside, I'm warm.

And I'm scared to death.

I'm a good grrl... really I am! It seems as though I can't help it.

I better go before I say too much.

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

In search of a job in radio...willing to relocate

I've been getting a lot of response to my ad on, and it's just blowing me away! This week alone, I've gotten a bunch of emails and a couple of phone calls, and some of them are promising.

I hope to be offered interviews soon, whether in person or by phone. I'd like to have several offers to choose from.

Funny thing is the lack of responses from stations here in Oklahoma. Maybe there aren't any jobs in this area in radio. That doesn't mean I can't look. Some of the people I know from school who graduated ahead of me have jobs out of state. Perhaps that is my fate as well.

I mailed out a lot of packages last week, and I'll follow up on those this week. I can't give up now.


I'm going into school Thursday to do a show, just for the practice. Keep up my skills so they don't get rusty. Maybe I'll do a promo for the next Del City basketball game, too, for the same reason.

I just wish that I could use the software I got at graduation in my computer. My computer is so old, it won't support it, even though I have Win98 installed. Maybe I'll get a laptop for Christmas, or the money to buy one somehow.


Yesterday was Marc's birthday. It's hard for me to believe that the youngest of my four kids is 12 years old! But, they have to grow up some time, right?

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, December 04, 2005

HS basketball, new sweater, Marc's birthday, and whatever else I can squeeze in here

Friday, I did the Del City High basketball broadcast. I actually went to the game and did a little color commentary in the fourth quarter. I probably sounded like a total dweeb, but the main thing is, that I did it. I even kinda liked it, and I'll do it again.

After basketball, Vincent and I went out to eat at Chili's. He's taking his final tomorrow, so he was planning to study all weekend. We talked about all kinds of stuff, and I didn't get home until nearly one in the morning, which didn't thrill Mom too much.

Saturday, I went major league food shopping with Mom, and bought a sweater coat while I was at it. It's a really pretty color, cranberry, and it looks pretty good. The blazer I was planning to get didn't look as good on me as it did on the hanger. The sweater was a good compromise.

This evening, Marc decided to go to Olive Garden for his family birthday dinner, which kinda caught Daniel off guard. Daniel is the one who usually picks Olive Garden for his birthday dinner place. I can't see us going to Olive Garden twice in a ten day span. We'll see what happens when we get closer to Dainels birthday on the 14th.

I still haven't gotten the battery in the van replaced. The transportation check I got the other day was not enough to pay for it, so I will have to find some other way to get that chore done. I'm sure I can't jump it every time I turn around indefinitely.

I've reposted my ad on I wonder if I'll get any more responses. Something has to come of all this mailing out and answering email responding soon.

I think I will schedule an air show for myself this week. I'll talk to Larry about that tomorrow.

(Hey you! You still "peeking"? Leave me a comment. Just click on "what say you?")

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, December 01, 2005

"You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of ten thousand fists in the air"

OMG! I finally heard Disturbed's "Ten Thousand Fists" CD in its entirety, and it absolutely blows me away!

This is the band whose show I worked in August, and they played a lot of songs from this CD.

I'm not going to post a review of the CD. But, damn... if hard rock is your cup of tea, then give this disc a listen!

Now, if their current tour would just bring 'em back this way...

And that's all from where I sit.


OMG! It's De-freakin-cember!

4 days til Marc's birthday!
13 days til Daniels birthday!
24 days til Christmas!


Dear Santa: I'd like a fast laptop with all the bells and whistles, peace on Earth, and a job in radio. Please? I've been a good girl. Really I have! Ask anyone!

The milk and cookies will waiting in the usual place on Christmas Eve.

Love, Steffi


I finally got money today! I got my paycheck, and it was a little bigger than I thought it would be. I got paid for that day I showed up to work and they didn't need me, in addition to the day I did work the next day, and the OU game the following week.

Sadly, it'll probably be gone before this time next week. :(


And that's all from where I sit.