Wednesday, August 31, 2005

That bitch Katrina and $2.9what-the-hell a gallon???

The news from the hurricane zone just seems to get worse as the days pass.

Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco has ordered anyone still in New Orleans to get out, that it's not safe to stay because of health concerns. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has been quoted as saying that all of his city will soon be underwater due to the failure of not one, but two levees at the 17th Street canal.

The looting in New Orleans is so bad, that even the cops are doing it!

The pictures I'm seeing on television make me sad. New Orleans is such a beautiful and historic city, I simply cannot allow myself to believe that it will not survive this. Especially since I've been there!

And I still haven't heard from Saon, not that he has an obligation to contact me, of course. I just don't want to find out that he's hurt or worse the hard way. Even though our relationship is not what it once was, I still care for him very much, and I think, I hope, he knows that.

Meanwhile, in Mississippi, hundreds are feared dead there, and the flooding there is just as bad as in New Orleans. It just breaks my heart.

I know that Hannie is okay though, as I've seen her pop online a few times today. I wonder if she and her family will even have a home to return to. The area where she lives floods easily when it just rains. Heaven knows what it did during the hurricane.

Katrina has, sadly, given the oil companies an excuse to raise the price of a gallon of gasoline. On Monday, gas here in the Oklahoma City area averaged around $2.50 a gallon. Tonight when I returned home from school, the 7-11 on Danforth and Kelly in Edmond was showing regular unleaded at a whopping $2.97 a gallon!!! That's a 47 cent spike from yesterday! At this rate, I won't be able to afford to drive anywhere except to and from school. Oil refineries in the Gulf won't be online again for weeks. We are going to see three dollars a gallon here before the end of the week!!

Can we say price gouging? Can we say people like President Bush getting richer at our expense? We have fuel in reserve, but Bush won't release it, saying that it won't help keep gas prices down that much.

Now, c'mon Mr President... I'll bet you're not paying three bucks a gallon. Is it fair that the people who elected you in a so called "mandate" (not me, BTW) should have to dig even deeper into their pockets to get from point A to point B? I think not.

Okay, okay... /end rant

And that's all from where I sit, not able to do much of anything about anything.


Monday, August 29, 2005

Hurricane Katrina: the aftermath

1-800-HELP NOW
Have you seen the pictures coming out of the Gulf Coast area regarding the hurricane? Maybe it wasn't a direct hit on New Orleans, but the damage there and in other areas is simply unimaginable! Flooding, property damage, the destruction... it looks like a war zone!

I pray that Johanna and her family, and Saon, all got out safely and are out of harms way. God only knows what they'll come home to, if anything.

I feel so helpless, just sitting here. So as soon as it's possible for me, I'm going to donate blood. Maybe I'll take in a Redhawks game... all this week, if you bring bottled water to the Bricktown Ballpark in Oklahoma City, you get free admission to a game. Ironically, they're playing the New Orleans Zephyrs at home this week.

You can help too. Call your local Red Cross chapter to see what they're doing to assist the victims of Hurricane Katrina, or call 1-800-help now, or log onto

Feel free to take the image above, just put it on your own server and link it to the Red Cross website. It's the least I can do to get the word out.

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, August 28, 2005

This is true, after a fashion

I am my father's third born...

You Are Likely a Third Born

At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.

In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.

And that's all from where I sit.



This scares me, and I don't even live in New Orleans!

But Saon does, and I hope that he's out of there.

Hannie lives in Mississippi in an area that floods. I hope sheand her family's gone to higher ground, too.

One hundred seventy five miles per hour! Category 5! When I was in Hurricane Bonnie seven years ago in Norfolk, that was only a Category 3, and that was bad enough! We didn't even have to evacuate. I can't even imagine a storm that they're saying now is even stronger than Andrew in 1992!

God help New Orleans...

And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, August 27, 2005

Hurricanes, rain, WTF no mail, and "Ben Jammin"

1. Hurricanes: Katrina is threatening to make trouble in the Gulf Coast. After she killed something like 7 people in Florida, and reports saying she's gaining strength again, things don't look so good for those on the Gulf Coast. So Saon, and Hannie & co., get the hell outta there!
(UPDATE: 2216CDT 8.27.05-- Katrina is headed straight for New Orleans and is expected to make landfall sometime Monday. Winds could possibly get up to 155mph! That's a category 5 hurricane, if memory serves.)

2. Rain: it's looking a lot like rain out there. Crap. The grass needs to be mowed again. Go dormant already!!

3. WTF no mail: Unless the mail is just extremely late today, I won't get my check from the state for transportation costs until Monday. Thing is, I need that money NOW!!!

4. "Ben Jammin": If you listen to KISS 98.9 in Oklahoma City on Saturday afternoons, I know Ben Cruz's (Cruise? Cruse?) secret identity. Dude, what's wrong with your real name, huh?

I should talk... I have about three or four different names on tap for when I get a real radio job. And for as hard as I worked getting my maiden name back, I probably won't use it when I work on the air. It's my "secret identity"...

I don't normally listen to this particualr radio station, but since I know "Ben Cruz/Cruise/Cruse" off the air, I thought I'd check it out.

And that's all from where I sit.


I've run out of clever titles... more coming soon

(how'd I do that?)

Friday was okay. I changed my hours slightly at school so that I could do my Friday shows at the same time as my Wednesday Internet shows. So, I'm going from 10am to 2pm on Fridays, except the weeks I'm doing high school football broadcasts at school; and no, I'm not doing the play by play or the color commentary, or even being the spotter. I'm working the boards back at school while those with a knowledge of local high school football do the other stuff at the stadium located at the high school.

When I got home, I quite literally fell into bed and slept until dinner. I gotta get out and exercise more...

It's too hot.

Jon may have to give away my cat Columbus, because someone in his apartment building is complaining about the cat being outside. This particular neighbor is the one who, two years ago, cut off Columbus' whiskers. He's a little unbalanced, I'm told.

Meanwhile, both Columbus and Jon's cat Fiona both need to see the vet, and Jon is pleading poverty about that too. He actually told me this evening that when he got money, Fiona would be the one to see the vet first, and if Columbus needed vetenary care, well, too bad.

There's no way that I'll be able to get to Massachusetts to get Columbus before Jon has to give him up.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose Columbus, but that may no longer be my choice.

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, August 25, 2005


Stephanie's Daily Aquarius Forecast

Quickie: Reel this one in as slowly as possible. You don't want to let this one get away!

My question is this: am I the reeler, or the reelee?

This could refer to so many things going on in my life right now. I wouldn't even know where to begin if I had to list them (and I'm not listing them here).

The decision to go back to school was the best decision I've could've made for myself. My life, and my outlook on life, has changed dramatically. Now life has a real purpose, and my goals seem to be closer to reach.

So why do I have this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach? Is something about to happen to that will make all my dreams go up in smoke?

I'm probably being silly. Or paranoid.

I've gotta stop feeling this way. Maybe I should go do something to keep my mind off of something that hasn't happened, and probably won't happen.

And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

My show ROCKED this afternoon!

My Internet show went very well this afternoon. Everything just fell into place. Even I was amazed that it went so well. I was totally prepared and confident that I knew what I was doing.
God, I love this! I can't wait to get out in the "real world" and get paid to do this! Only 11 1/2 weeks more of school, and then....who knows what will happen?


I got a series of offline messages from Saon this morning. He left them around 2:30am. It seemed that most of them weren't meant for me...


It was really humid today. I thought I was going to fall asleep while I was driving home from school.

I better get busy and study for the test tomorrow night. I still don't know all the of the 13 EANS facts yet...

I think I hear a can of Orangette calling my name.

That's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I hear you talking, but you're not saying anything...

That would characterize my phone conversation with Saon this morning around 1:30am.

He called earlier, around 10:30pm, while I was out at the store, but Mom and Jeff didn't tell me until nearly midnight. So I figured that he wouldn't call back because it was getting late.


We talked, and he really didn't have anything to say. I don't know if he was lonely, or bored, or whatever, but nothing he said seemed to be all that earthshattering. He did keep asking when I'd be able to come back down there. In the same breath practically, he talked to someone else in the room about talking to some girl.

I don't think I'm even going to entertain any notion of making a return trip to the Big Easy.

I honestly believe that he thinks that if he says the right things, I'll come runnin'. Think again. I'm not playing those kinds of games again. I don't want to be placed in the situation he placed me in two years ago, by him or anyone else.


School started for my 14 and 11 year olds yesterday. Scott likes high school so far. Marc was kind of non committal about 6th grade, except to say that he changes classes.


That's all from where I sit.


Monday, August 22, 2005

I just wanna snooze...

There was a wicked rainstorm early this morning. It must have awakened me about three times, and each time, I had trouble getting back to sleep.

I also awoke those times with tears running down my cheeks. I don't know what I was dreaming about that brought such powerful emotions about. I wish I could remember what it was now.

I have theories galore, but I don't know if any of them would pan out. I'll never know what it was that I was dreaming about, unless I have that dream again...and how would I know?

I lost a lot of sleep, and I've been sleepy all day long. I managed to fall asleep for a short while before dinner, but it wasn't long enough. I'm trying not to fall asleep as I write this.

That's all from where I sit.


Okay, this is too weird

Of course my mood ring is purple... my birthstone is amethyst after all... and the rest of it sounds like me, too.

Your Mood Ring is Purple

Clear mind
Purpose is known

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, August 21, 2005

Stef's crazy Saturday night

Last time in MVL: The trip to Denver was cancelled because a concert that had been scheduled at another venue was being moved to the Ford Center, and my employer had the contract to provide security.

The band in question was Disturbed. Their show was originally scheduled to be at the Farmer's Market in Oklahoma City, but as it was explained to me, the Fire Marshal wouldn't allow it to take place there, so it was moved to the Ford Center.

I had said yes to working this show before I thought to ask who the band would be.

I reported to work at 6:15pm. From there, things actually went my way. I was placed near Stage Left, checking for access passes (All Access, those who worked for one of the three bands performing that night, those who were providing various amenities, etc). If they didn't have a pass, they didn't get backstage. I didn't have to turn too many people away. They were all good about showing their passes to me. I even got to talk to one of the musicians, who turned out to be the bassist for Disturbed, for about 2 minutes.

Once the crowd got inside, it got crazy. The first band was TenYears, and they were pretty good, even if I couldn't understand what the hell the lead singer was singing. The crowd surfing started in earnest and the ten guys up front between the barricades and the stage were busy catching people and sending them back to the "pit".

The next band was called Ill Nino. Their lead singer was unintelligible as well, except when he said things like "motherfucker(s)", which was just about every other word out of his mouth. And the guys catching the crowd surfers were kept pretty busy. At the end of their set, Ill Nino's lead singer jumped from the stage to the barricades, and the crowd in the pit were climbing all over each other just to touch the guy!

From my vantage point, I had a pretty good view of the stage, and the backstage area where the boards were. I was intrigued by the number of boards there were, and how one man ran all of them to get the sound just right. I wanted to talk to the guy in the worst way, because I do that at school on a much smaller scale, but he was very busy, and I couldn't leave my post.

I was also fascinated by the human drama going on in the arena, both on stage and in the audience.

The section behind where I was standing , which had been empty, was filling up with people prior to Disturbed coming onstage. Right behind me were this group of people, who had apparently all come together, took up the entire front row. Nearest to me were this guy and his two girlfriends. One of the girls was already drunk, and it became very obvious to me that she and the other girl had a thing for each other, and didn't make a secret of it.

Finally, after a bit of a delay, Disturbed came onstage. From the git-go, they were clearly the best band of the night. They did all the songs I was familiar with, and I sang along when no one from my job was watching. Disturbed's singer, David Draiman, was very eloquent when he spoke to the crowd, with much less of the profanity of the two previous bands. When he sang, he was powerfully voiced, compared to his speaking voice which was much more subdued.

At one point, he asked girls to flash the stage, and quite a few of them did! The two girls behind me were groping on each other and their boyfriend, oblivious to where they were and who was watching. Turns out that the videographer for Disturbed had been watching and came over to film them on a couple of occassions, which pissed their boyfriend off. A number of us in the area thought the boyfriend was going to punch out the videographer, but that never came to pass.

During what was thought to be the last song, a kid who had been caught while crowd surfing and sent back to the pit just collapsed at my feet. I asked if he was okay, and he said he needed water. I gave him some of the bottled water I had, and he said when he had enough. He still didn't look too good and I poured the rest of the water over his head. Between the alcohol he'd most likely consumed, and the sweating he was doing, I suspected that he was becoming dehydrated. Before I knew it, the paramedics were there, and confirmed what I suspected. He was taken to another part of the arena to be checked over.

After the band left the stage after their last song, the crowd made all kinds of noise to get an encore, and Disturbed complied, coming out to play their very first hit, "Stupefied".

As the band left the stage this last time, the drummer threw his drumsticks into the crowd, and one of them grazed the top of my head! Before I realized what had happened, the drumstick hit the floor and a crush of people dived in to pick up the sovenieir. I thought, damn that could've been mine!

While we were waiting for the crowd to file out of the building, someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was the drummer, who asked if he'd hit me with the drumstick, and I said, no, that I didn't realize what happened until the drumstick hit the floor. He looked relieved.

I finally got out of the Ford Center around midnight, and it had started raining. I walked to the garage where I'd parked the van, and found a wad of money on the ground. It turned out to total $25.00!

So I stopped by Wendy's on the way home.

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, August 19, 2005

So much for the trip to Denver...

When I got home from school this afternoon, I got a call from work. The Denver trip was being cancelled because a concert that was being held at another venue was moved to the Ford Center, and that if I wanted, I could work that show. I said yes, then asked what concert it was. I was told that the Fire Marshal wouldn't allow the concert at the original venue due to various factors that I wasn't told about (possibly because my boss didn't know either). The Ford Center is a much bigger venue than the venue the concert was originally scheduled at.

The band in question is one I would pay to see. I hope I get to see this one. I missed a good show Wednesday with Green Day.

It's a bummer about the Denver trip, but there will be others, I'm told.

That's all from where I sit.


I don't get it...I felt great last week

This week, it's like my whole life went to hell.

It could have something to do with Saon calling me the other night. It's 1:30 something in the morning and I'm down in the bathroom when my cell rings. I guess Jeff answered it, because he's the one who told me that Saon had called. Saon asked Jeff to have me call him at work, so that's what I did.

And we talked for a good long while. Saon said all the things he thinks I want to hear, like he still loves me. Maybe that's true, but there is no way I am going down to New Orleans to see him just because he says he misses me. I told him that I have to be committed to school until at least the end of November, so no vacations in my future. Besides, I'm broke; even if I had the money I wouldn't go. So I could be humiliated again? Not just no, but HELL NO! Let him come up here for a change. I'm sure that he won't so I'm not really worried about that.

Even since then, though, I've felt like crap, both physically and emotionally. Today at school, I really thought I was going to bust out crying. It just seems so bizarre that a couple of phone calls can do that to me. I feel better now, but I just don't get it.

At some point, I'll have to tell him that friendship is really all I can handle with him for right now. I tried to make a relationship work, but the timing just wasn't right. I know he wanted it to work, too, but he had other issues that predated me that he's just now resolving. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I've moved on. I'll always be his friend, I'll always care. That's just the way it has to be for now.

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, August 18, 2005

What part of "NO CAMERAS" don't you understand?

Worked the Green Day show at the Ford Center... didn't get to see any of it because our company didn't get the contract for the floor area, save for a team of licenced security guards and local law enforcement. I worked the doors instead, doing bag searches and body searches (guys search guys, girls search girls). Bag searches are not one of my favorite jobs at a show, and body searches make me feel uncomfortable ( i don't like invading another's space in that manner), but it was do it or go home, and since I need the money, I did it. That doesn't mean I had to like it, and I didn't.

There are big signs on the doors that say "NO CAMERAS", but the number of people who tried to bring in cameras was incredible! People actually got pissed off when we told them they had to take their camera back to their car. Lots of people who had disposable cameras simply threw them away.

Right now, 2 hours after I arrived home, I'm still hurtin' from the RA in my right ankle. I think I'll get one of those heat wrap things for the next job this weekend, working the Denver Broncos/San Francisco '49ers Denver! The company's paying per diem plus your hourly rate, and we get to ride a bus there, work all day, stay for the game, then come home. This'll be says the people who have done this before. We'll see.

I am so tired I can't think straight. More in the morning, perhaps...

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, August 16, 2005

I had to think about this one...

"List ten songs that you are currently digging ... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to."

  • Boulevard of Broken Dreams --Green Day
  • I Am the Highway --Audioslave
  • Telling Stories --Tracy Chapman
  • Piece of My Heart --Janis Joplin
  • Cold --Crossfade
  • More Than a Feeling --Boston
  • Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue --Toby Keith
  • Drive --Alan Jackson
  • Anything by Gretchen Wilson
  • Anything by Collective Soul

Hmmm....who should I tag? I think I'll do what Jaime did and say that if anyone wants to do this, feel free.

And that's all from where I sit.


Of lead weights and heavy minds

Earlier this evening, I wrote this rambling post about a phone call I had received the night before, and the things I found out while engaged in this conversation. They have been weighing heavily on my mind for the past 24 hours. The stress from all this has caused my stomach to be tied up in knots, and I can't seem to relax enough to make this uncomfortable feeling go away.

This ache in my stomach is very familiar. It's been nearly 2 years since I felt it.

Two years ago at the end of this month is not somewhere I want to go back to. I went into it happy and excited, and came out of it humiliated, used and alone. There is no friggin way I'm going to allow that to happen again.

I worked hard to get to this point in time. I'm happy for the most part, I'm learning something I've always wanted to know more about, I have friends, and I have a future waiting for me. I'm not going to throw all that away to take a trip into a past I cannot change. I think I've moved on from that point.

The person involved in all this is someone I still care for, but realize that there is no real future for me being with them. If they want to be friends, then fine. I can deal with that. But, in order to do this, I have to tell them in person. None of this bad news by phone, or worse yet, the internet. Bad news is best delivered in person, with honesty and regard for the person's feelings. Just because they discounted my feelings does not mean I can do the same to them. Two wrongs never makes it right.

I have the original post saved in Blogger as a draft. I don't know if I will post it or not.

I don't want to hurt this person, but I might not have any choice.

We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

That's all from where I sit.


Sunday, August 14, 2005

Be careful what you ask for...

I wished for rain, and rain is what I got.

Lots and lots of it.

I may have to row to Del City tomorrow to get to school. There's something like a 70% chance of rain tomorrow.

Me and my big mouth!


And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, August 13, 2005

Guess it's been a slow week

Found this over at duff's... it's Midsummer Meme Madness!


1. Nervous habits : looking at non-existant watch on left wrist, doodling
2. Are you double jointed? only the thumb on my left hand. My kids think it's gross.
3. Can you roll your tongue? yes
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?
5. Can you blow spit bubbles? i used to. Don't do it anymore.
6. Can you cross your eyes? yes
7. Tattoos: none (yet...)
8. Piercings: two holes in each ear
9. Do you make your bed daily? occassionally


10. Which shoe goes on first? which ever one I grab first
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? yes. My ex husband
12. On the average, how much money do you carry? can't carry it if I don't have it, now can i?
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? two thumb rings on my left hand that I've worn since (at least) '96, a sterling silver ring with a heart shaped amethyst stone and silver leaves that was my first employee purchase from "the Q" in 1990, and usually a watch.
14. Favorite piece of clothing: jeans!


15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? We Italians twirl it (and not with a spoon, either)
16. Have you ever eaten Spam? yes, and I'll never do that again!
17. Do you use extra salt on your food? not usually
18. How many cereals in your cabinet? three: Trix for Jeff; Life for me; and some wheat chex stuff that Mom decided she didn't like that much
19. What's your favorite beverage? Pepsi
20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant? whatever strikes my fancy at the time
21. Do you cook? yes, and am damn good at it too!


22. How often do you brush your teeth? twice a day
23. Hair drying method: when i'm in a hurry (most of the time), I'll use a hair dryer
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? I've been coloring my hair red for about seven years now


25. Do you swear? I'm trying not to. Can't swear on the radio.
26. Do you ever spit? only when I'm sick, and then into a tissue


27. Animal: cats...all kinds of cats. And the bunnies who frequently appear in Mom's backyard
28. Food: my lasagne
29. Month: February for my birthday; September because it's in the fall
30. Day: Monday, just to get it over with
31. Cartoon: do you have any idea how long it's been since I saw a cartoon??? I've always liked Bugs Bunny, though
32. Shoe brand: I don't know. All my shoes are probably cheap copies of well known brands. I don't do labels, not even in shoes.
33. Subject in school: history, English, composition
34. Color: currently, it's red
35. Sport: baseball!! Go BoSox!!!
36. TV shows: see the side bar...those are the shows I like, plus Crossing Jordan.
37. Thing to do in the spring: go outside
38. Thing to do in the summer: go to the beach
39. Thing to do in the autumn: watch leaves turn color and fall.
40. Thing to do in the winter: Run around wearing a heavy sweatshirt while everyone else is bundled up in winter coats.


41. In the CD player: The Fallout by Default, Boston's first album
42. Person you talk most on the phone with: I don't talk on the phone much
43. Reading: The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors? I try not to notice
45. What color is your bedroom? plain old boring white
46. Do you use an alarm clock? yes, the one on my cell phone
47. Window seat or aisle? window


48. What's your sleeping position? on my right side, knees curled up.
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? yes
50. Do you snore? I probably do sometimes.
51. Do you sleepwalk? no.
52. Do you talk in your sleep? i've been known to. I was a great hit at slumber parties when I was a kid.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? C'mon, I'm a grown woman! If I'm going to sleep with anything, I hope it's a man
54. How about with the light on? no. it has to be off
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? I've fallen asleep in the middle of watching tv, but leaving it on all night, no.
56. Last interesting person you met: Larry, one of my instructors at school. It's uncanny how much we have in common!

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, August 12, 2005

Fake it til you make it? Sounds good to me...

The latest edition of Stef's Horrorscope:

Stephanie's Daily Aquarius Forecast

Quickie: Listen to your heart for once instead of your head. Don't calculate. Feel.

Overview: Fake it 'til you make it. Even if you're currently feeling the teensiest bit less than confident, you really do have the goods to back up all the hype. So stand up straight and smile until your self-esteem returns to normal.

Daily extended (by
Moving up your own personal career ladder could be thrilling -- and yet just a little bit terrifying at the same time. On no account should you beat yourself up for having mixed feelings about being successful. After all, the price of getting what you want is having to deal with ... getting what you want. And while in many ways it's a great thing to achieve so much, it can be stressful, too. Take some time out to deal with these feelings.


Oh, believe you me, I am terrified... but, I deserve to be successful in radio, or anything else for that matter.

Ya just gotta have faith. What was it that Tug McGraw used to say? Ya gotta believe. Yep, I believe!


And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, August 11, 2005

If the price of gas goes up any more

I won't be able to afford to drive! Gas hit $2.30 a gallon here. Someone somewhere I've been in the last few days predicted that gas will hit $2.50 before Labor Day.

Nice. NOT!

(UPDATE --8.12.05 0128CDT: forget $2.50 before Labor Day...shit, it'll be that much by Monday if it keeps going up 11 frickin' cents in 12 hours!)

And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I don't have anything to really complain about

that I have any control over.

I'm having a great week, things are going my way, more or less, and I'm feeling pretty good. Yeah, the RA is giving me fits, especially in my right ankle, but I'm not going to let that bother me much.

My internet show today went well. I did a pretty good job if I do say so myself. But, before I hurt myself patting myself on the back, I realize that I am still a student, and I'm still learning new things. After all, I still have some 3 1/2 months to go. There's a lot of learning still left to do before they unleash me on an unsuspecting radio broadcasting industry.

Of course, life itself is a series of lessons. When you stop learning, you're one ever knows it all, despite what some people think.


I'd love to be on a beach with an ocean attached right now. Okay, maybe a beach at one of the many lakes in Oklahoma if I can't get to an ocean. I do miss the ocean, though.


That's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I feel good (I knew that I would now)

Monday was a good day. Whatever blue funk I was under the latter part of last week, it's lifted, and things look good.

People notice when I'm having a bad day. That kind of surprises me that people would study me so carefully, and that someone cares about me enough to mention it to me. That in and of itself makes me feel good.

I've turned some corner somewhere. I don't want this good feeling to go away. I'm grinning like the proverbial cat who ate the canary as I write this. I must look like an idiot, but I don't care!


I have another Internet Show this week. It's looking like Wednesdays from 12 noon to 2pm CDT is my spot for the time being, unless Larry changes it or something. We were talking about altering my schedule slightly on Fridays so that I could possibly do a show at the same times, but right now, I'm thrilled with what I do have.


Damn, I feel good!

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, August 08, 2005

ABC's Peter Jennings died Sunday

He was 67 years old and was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier this year.

I knew he was sick, and he sounded terrible when he made his announcement that he had cancer, but I thought he, if anyone, could beat it. It just wasn't to be. At least, he's no longer in pain and at peace. That's all anyone could ask for when faced with their own mortality.

Words at times like these, when someone dies, don't come easily to me. Me, the ultimate motormouth, is speechless when it comes to talking about death, and comforting people who have lost a loved one. When my father died in October 1999, I'm certain that people had trouble expressing their grief in my presence. Even if the people in question had known Dad for years and years, and probably knew him better than I did.

The only thing that makes sense is this: I have fought the good fight, I have stayed the course, I have kept the faith. --2Timothy 4:7

Rest in peace, Mr. Jennings.

That's all from where I sit.


Saturday, August 06, 2005

I need a vacation...

The last two days have been kind of hard for me. I've just been in a sad mood, though you couldn't really tell it from my outward appearance. Last night's post is part of that. It's just me being PMS-y, I suppose.

I think I really need just a couple of days away to recharge my batteries, so to speak. Sleeping doesn't help, because I feel worse when I wake up than I did when I fell asleep.

And running out of gas and the blabbermouth kid at Milano's while I was waiting for the burgers I'd ordered for dinner didn't help much.

Blabbermouth Boy was with his mother and another woman I wasn't sure was a woman at first. I overheard his mother tell him that if he can't see strangers, they can't talk to him.

So, I'm sitting in this booth, reading a local free weekly, pretty much ignoring this brat. He come up over the back of the booth and keeps repeating, "You can't see can't see me..." To which I replied, "I wish I couldn't hear you either." Well, that gave mom the grand idea to tell her little boy to be quiet.

Thing is, I just said that to be mean. And I'm not usually a mean person. This kid, and all the other events leading up to this point, put me in a not so nice mood. Then it seemed to take forever to get four burgers out to me so I could take them home. I finally had to go up to the counter where I had already paid for them and ask where the hell they were at?

I had them in under two minutes.

So now, I'm feeling kinda down in the dumps. It could be PMS, it could be a lot of things. I think I am entitled to be blue every once in a while. Beats the everyday depression I had been having. That's a good thing. I'll feel better in the morning.

That's all from where I sit.


Friday, August 05, 2005

Where have all the good men gone?

They're either married/taken, gay, or dead.

What does it take to find a decent man? One who takes you as you are, warts and all, who has no baggage (kids are okay), who knows how to treat a woman right, doesn't lie right to your face (and you know he's lying), and does things for you for no reason except that he cares about you. I can't remember the last time I got flowers from someone for no reason (and my birthday, Valentine's Day or Christmas doesn't count).

I don't need the bullshit, the drama, or the frustration that dating entails. I'm 41 years old and a full time student for God's sake, I don't have time for all that crap! If he's not intimidated by a lady DJ in training, then he still has to have all the qualities listed above.

And he has to be bewteen the ages of 29 and 50. I'm not going to date someone young enough to be my son or old enough to be my father.

I have my self worth and my self esteem. If a man only wants to break me down emotionally, then don't darken my doorway. If a man can't see me for who I am right now, then don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya on the way out. I ain't changing for no man, no way, no how. If I am not good enough for you as I am, see ya (wouldn't wanna be ya!).

I want to be in a relationship, but I want to get it right this time. I am faithful to a fault, and I think that's part of my problem. I'm faithful even when all the signs say I should pack it in. So if it takes me a while to find that good man, then it takes me a while. For all I know, he could be right under my nose.

And, try as I might, I can't think of one funny thing to say about this subject. I'm too tired for that right now.

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, August 04, 2005

The Internet Show went great...

I hope someone was listening! LOL

For a while, I wasn't sure I wasn't being heard. Then I looked at the volume monitor and it was working normally while I spoke into the mic, so I relaxed about that.

I made a few "rookie" mistakes, but all in all, everything went great! Now that I've completed my first one, then ones I do from now on should get easier.

Man, I never thought that would be so much fun!

If I get on a regular broadcast schedule, I'll certainly post it here with the URL.

And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

imma copycat 2

I thought this was fun little thingy to do when you're nervous, excited and scared about the BIG EVENT coming up in a few hours (see previous post.)

bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C. /

Go HERE to have a form generate the HTML for you.

And that's all from where I sit.


Unleashed upon an unsuspecting internet...

is ME!

Good Lord, what have I gotten myself into?!

In less than 12 hours (as of the time this is posted), I will be broadcasting live on the internet! If you would like to listen in, I'll be on from 12 noon to 2pm CDT (add or subtract hours accordingly based on your time zone). Go here, or here to listen.

This excites me and scares the shit out of me all at once. My instructor, Larry, asked me this afternoon if I wanted to do an internet show tomorrow, and of course I said yes! I'm ready for it, for better or worse. Man, I need to relax!

Seriously reeeelaaaaxxxxx!

I better get to bed so I can be awake for this grand adventure! 'night!

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, August 02, 2005

It's an exhausting, energy-zapping heat

In the mid 90's again today, and no end in sight.

I wasn't even tired until someone mentioned that he wished he could take a nap. So, of course, soon after I got home, it was time for one of my infamous Three Hour Naps. Must have been more tired than I thought.

I tried a suggestion that Daniel had about how to get more milage out of every tank of gas, and it seemed to work for a while. Then I drove to Del City to go to school and shot that all to hell. I just better have a cleaner gasline and fuel injectors after all this! For some reason, that stupid van seems to know when I am headed towards I-40 and sucks all the gas away.

Then I got to school and had to park under the sign where every bird in the Mid-Del area lives it seems, but they (the birds, that is) were kind to me and didn't use my newly washed car as their bathroom today. Maybe they did it before because the van was pretty dirty, so a few spots of bird poop wouldn't hurt much.

Methinks I best be off to bed. I have a show to get ready for on Wednesday, so I'm going to do some prep tomorrow. I'll write my news here at home, and do everything else at school.

That's all from where I sit.