Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Happy 1st birthday, Joey!

Love, Auntie Stefie.

(God, has it been a year already? It seems like Joey's been with us forever)

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Oh, and this...

Item 1:
If Saon is pissed at me because I didn't call him back, then it's his own damn fault.

Item 2:
I went and saw that lawyer I mentioned previously. See Look What the Cat Dragged In for more details. Prepare for a rant.

You've been warned.


Happy 18th Birthday, Jeffrey!

Love, Mom

(2 down, 2 to go...*sigh*)

Monday, March 29, 2004

Party, party...

Yesterday, we had a party for the three birthdays this week: Dean, Jeff and Joey. The baby was so cute-- he stayed awake long enough to play in the little cake he had, then he fell asleep. Dean and Jeff's birthdays are tomorrow, Joey's is on Wednesday.

I was supposed to go see a lawyer today regarding my Disability hearing, but because I wasn't sure I had enough gas in the van to get to downtown OKC, I postponed it until tomorrow.

I was cleaning up some in my "bedroom" last night and I found an old copy of the last phone bill I got from Massachusetts, and discovered that Saon gave me the wrong phone number for where he's staying in MN. It might have been an honest mistake, but when he told me to call him back, I did with the number he gave me, and a woman answered. I figured it was his mother in law (she sounded too old to be Michele), so I said I had the wrong number and hung up.

Now, I figured that Saon's pissed with me, so I guess I'll have to wait and see if he calls back. I'm not going to hold my breath.


Friday, March 26, 2004

Well, will wonders ever cease...?

Saon called tonight. It was not him who called the other night on my cell phone.

Update: Saon's been in MN for about a month. He has a job, and he's making about 8.00 an hour, and living at Michele's mother's house.

Things don't appear to be going well between them. Michele's sister is still quite ill, but she's not dying. She's undergoing treatment and her prognosis looks good.

There's a guy who hangs out at the house named Tracy. He is, apparently, Michele's "boy on the side", and when he and Saon met recently, Tracy was rather intimidated, so he hangs out with Michele when Saon's not there. Saon gets the feeling that they all want him to leave so they can continue as before.

"So why did you go up there?" I asked him. He told me that he doesn't really want to give up on his marriage, but it looks like that he may have to concede defeat. Then he says he still wants to be with me!

"If things are so bad up there, why don't you just throw in the towel and get divorced?" Saon says they're working on that. Then he says that Michele told him that their marriage may not even be legal! They've sent away to St. Paul, MN for their marriage licence, if indeed there is one. If there isn't, Saon says he'll work up there a while then maybe head back to Louisiana, as he tells me that he can get his job at Belle Chasse back. Of course, if there is one, then they'll have to get divorced.

I'm not sure that I believe him there: if their marriage isn't legal, then how was Michele able to change her name on her Social Security card and her driver's licence? You need a marriage licence to prove any name change due to marriage to change the name on her Social Security card; and unless Minnesota is really backwards, then she'd have to prove to the local driver's licence authority that she changed her name becasue she married.

There's more to this story than meets the eye. It could be that Michele has known all along that her marriage to Saon was not legal and kept it from him to hold on to that dying relationship. It could be that it was an honest mistake and the papers weren't filed; Or they are legally married and they'll have to divorce.

And, Saon uttered his infamous phrase again about the status of our relationship: "you never know".

I'm not sure I'm so willing to believe him this time. He'll have to prove one helluva lot to me to convince me that everything is on the level.

Time will tell. Maybe my horoscope from the other day was accurate...we'll see.


Thursday, March 25, 2004

My horoscope for yesterday (3/24)

I wonder if i should take this seriously...

Aquarius Horoscope
Wed Mar. 24, 2004

A fortunate change of circumstances in the life of a friend could have a positive impact on your life at this time, dear Aquarius. This situation could, however, involve a lot of adjustments, not to mention hard work. At times you could feel overwhelmed and somewhat intimidated by these developments; it is best to ignore these feelings, dear Aquarius, and push on. Don't expect immediate results; however, they will come. Hang on to your optimism.

Ain't she sweet?

check out this sweet kitten. So she has a couple of extra ears...she's so cute!

(Tank'sGrrl will be back to normal later today, after she's done being sappy over kittens...)


Please watch over him, Lord...

Make sure he is safe, he's healthy in both body and mind, and that he's happy. If anything should befall him he should need assistance, Lord, let him call on me. You know I care for him deeply, and You know him better than I. Watch over him as he makes this latest journey, Lord, and keep him safe.


Will the real Stephanie Pera please stand up?

Someone with my name is listed on!! She was an extra in a movie called Femme Fontaine: Killer Babe for the CIA that was released ten years ago. It's her only credit. By the title, it sounds like a porno flick. There's no bio or other identifying information about her. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it...

I knew there was at least one other person with my name (younger than me) out there...and here I was thinking that I had a unique name. I wonder if I should google myself using my former married many of those would be out there??? (answer: none according to Yahoo. Well, good. LOL).

Then there seems to be another one who made a couple of comments on There's an email addy included...I wonder if I should write her and tell her she's not the only one with her name.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Did he or didn't he?

My cell phone rang last night while I was driving. I asked Jeff to answer it. I didn't recognize the phone number on the caller ID, so I didn't know immediately who it was. Jeff talked to whoever it was, and he thinks that it was Saon based on his voice.

It could have been Saon, calling with a calling card (which would explain why i didn't recognize the phone number), but I just don't know. I should have answered the phone myself, but I don't like to do that while I'm driving.

If it was Saon, maybe he'll call back. I would like to talk to him, but at this point, I'm not going to hold my breath that he will. I only have 5 minutes left on my phone, so if he doesn't call back soon, then oh well....


Monday, March 22, 2004

Meant To Live

Artist: Switchfoot
Album: The Beautiful Letdown

-Verse 1-
Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's meant for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves
Somewhere we live inside

-Verse 2-
Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves
We were meant to live
We were meant to live

Friday, March 19, 2004

Take a number...

You can take this quiz @ Quizilla.

Okay, using my full first name, I got a total of 43
Using my last name, I got a total of 22
Anything over nine has to be reduced so,

Two represents interaction, two-way communication
(as opposed to one-way) cooperation, and
balance. You are imaginative, creative, and
sweet natured. To save me from having to put
each of these in a sentence each, the following
describe you; peace, harmony, commitment,
loyalty and fairness. But there are two sides
to the coin. Twos also introduce the idea of
conflict, opposing forces, and the contrasting
sides of things; night and day, good and evil,
so on and so forth. You can be withdrawn,
moody, self-consious, and indecisive. Please
rate my quiz.

What does your name and arithmacy say about you? (some simple knowledge of adding is required on your part)
brought to you by Quizilla

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Fri 5...once again, boyz and grrlz

the friday five for the week ending 3.19.04:

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve? A little of everything

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell? Books and music

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be? I have written a's contemporary fiction.

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach? English, Ethics, and Internation Relations

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it? Alternative rock

Ignorance personified

I have another blog. I don't update it as much as I do this one because it's geared more towards those under 25, and I feel like an old broad there. Especially when I'm trying to make social commentary.

Case in point: I commented on Martha Stewart's felony conviction for insider trading and obstruction of justice in this other blog. Some young kid leaves me a comment that clearly stated to me that this person is so uninformed, so ignorant of current events, that the future now scares the bejeesus out of me. This person didn't understand that what Ms. Stewart did was a crime, and had asked if it had to do with an internet application.

I gathered from their user name that they are about 15 years old. Hell, when I was 15 years old, I was a regular newspaper reader (the Orange County Register and the Los Angeles Times), and I watched local and national news every day. I knew what was going on in my neighborhood, my county, the neighboring county, my state, the USA and the world. I remember asking my father when I was like 5 or 6 years old where Laos was, and why we (the US) were in Vietnam. I don't think I ever got an acceptable answer to either of those questions, because my father didn't think I'd understand the answers. (Just as a point of reference, I was 6 years old in 1970, and 15 in 1979). At one time, I wanted to be a journalist, and I guess that my thirst for knowledge and information stems from that.

The world and this country will be in the hands of those who are 15 years old in 2004 one day, and they need to be informed, aware, and alert. Get out of the mall, get out of the food court, get out from behind the Playstation, and get into a library, a bookstore, get your hands on a newspaper and learn what's going on in this world! Ignorance is NOT bliss. I shudder to think that some kid born in 1989 will be president one day...especially if they and their parents don't do anything to make them socially aware today.

End rant.


Tuesday, March 16, 2004

40: $3600.00: 1 pint of blood: 3 dogs

40: My age, which I told the clerk at 7-11 when I bought Mom cigs yesterday (Lord, I love to be carded! LOL)

$3600.00: The cost of the help I could get from a "employment counselor"...I was told to go home and "pray about it"...this after I told the man I was talking to I was broke.

1 pint of blood: What was given by me in the basement of 3030 Northwest Expressway

3 dogs: My sister's dogs, who think I'm a stranger on one side of the fence, and their best buddy on the other (the side with the food and water, BTW).

0: number of calls from the Cajun of my acquaintance. He must be pissed at me for some reason known only to him.


Sunday, March 14, 2004

Lame movies on broadcast TV

About a month ago, my mom got pissed at the cable company and told them pretty much what they could do with their service (or lack thereof). So, we've pretty much been a slave to the lameness of weekend movies. Today's lame movie was "Desperate Hours" with Mickey Roarke, Anthony Hopkins and Mimi Rogers (the first Mrs Tom Cruise). Two hours of mind numbing mind numbing in fact that Mom fell asleep in the middle of it.

She watched it because the TV mag said it had three stars. I told her that that didn't mean it was necessarily a good movie...and it wasn't! I was watching arena football, golf (*yawn*) and listening to the radio.

I haven't had much to say lately. Everyone else is in Washington, DC for Spring Break. Joey is in Enid with Dean's parents. Still nothing from you know who from you know where. He's got the numbers if he is so inclined to call me.


Friday, March 12, 2004

here we go again, boyz and grrlz...

the friday five for the week ending March 12, 2004:

1. What was the last song you heard? Duck and Run --Three Doors Down

2. What were the last two movies you saw? Gonna Git Ya Sucka and The Associate

3. What were the last three things you purchased? Baby aspirin, salami, and cigaretts for my mom

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? Make phone calls, feed my sister's dogs, take a walk, have some alone time without anyone asking me to do things for them.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to? #1 son, #2 son, some guy on the phone who called me about "some information I requested", the wrong number, my ex- hubby.

Monday, March 08, 2004

There are some days I hate my computer...

this is one of them.


I've had nothing but frustration with this old piece of crap today. I don't know if it's solely the computer, or if my ISP is partly to blame.


I am concerned about my health. I sleep all the time, I don't feel like doing anything, and I am not keeping myself up the way I alwyas have. It's almost like I just don't give a damn about anything any more. I need to see someone soon...or God only knows what may happen to me.

I can't talk to anyone about this, because they'll just blow me off. They'll tell me to go out and get a job. I have to get out of Oklahoma, or I will literally go insane. I don't know if a change in location will help me, but being treated like shit by my family is more than I can bear. I feel like I am imprisoned here.

I know I'm depressed. It's a feeling I know all too well. And it scares the shit out of me.


Sunday, March 07, 2004

Token Saon post...

Only to say that he hasn't called me since 2/17...guess he went to MN after all. Not going to call Belle Chasse to find out if he's still there. If he wants to talk to me, he has my number.

Baby, I love you
I miss you
I pray you are safe
and only wish for your happiness.
Are you happy?
Only you can answer that.
Be honest with yourself for once.


Saturday, March 06, 2004

Power of the Pen (?)

Last night I sent a letter to the John Kerry campaign in hopes that the Senator will get to read it. I'm not holding my breath. Last night I decided that by supporting John Kerry for President, that I will be working to get Bush out of office and back on his so-called ranch in Crawford, TX. I, personally, cannot afford another four years of George Bush. I've been virtually unemployed for almost two years, and all the jobs that I have done in the last sixteen years are all being outsourced to places like India! I've never, ever had this much trouble finding a job. It's rather discouraging and it's all Bush's fault! He was supposed to create 3 million jobs, but during his term, he's lost more than twice that many!

So, if you are so inclined, please check this out. I really and truly think that John Kerry's got his act together and will bring prosperity back to this nation, and hopefully the jobs will follow.

Oh, and by the way...if you don't like John Kerry for whatever reason, I don't want to hear about it, so don't bother leaving any nasty messages for me. I won't read them. Period. My mind's made up. John Kerry's the one.


Friday, March 05, 2004

This just in...

Martha Stewart guilty on all counts.

Lock the bitch up and throw away the key...too smart to have committed the crime, eh? Looks like too stupid to know that even she'd get caught, no matter who the hell you are.

A real post coming laterZ--

If it's Friday, it must be time for---

the friday five! For the week of 3/5/04:


What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name? Mrs. Miller, 1970-71, Sonora School, Costa Mesa, California

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? There were so many good ones on way back in the stone age...LOL

3. ...the name of your very first best friend? Chrissy, when I was in Montessori School (ages 3-5)

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? Probably something healthy that they don't make any more LOL

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? Ride my bike.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

The easiest way to piss me off...

tell me that something is free for the asking, then asking me to pay for shipping and handling. In my mind, that is not free!!!

I think that should be false advertizing. Once upon a time, not too long ago, you could get something for free and it was FREE!!! No shipping and handling or shit like that.

End rant...


Review: Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital

Saw Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital last night. I have 2 words for you: I'm hooked.

Only the mind of Stephen King can concieve something so bizarre, so weird, that it actually captures my attention.

It started out with a brief history of the Hospital site, previously the site of a factory that manufactured uniforms for the Union army during the Civil War. Children were working in the basement in virtual slavery, and when the factory caught fire, many of the children died. The spirits of the children haunt the current day Kingdom Hospital, but the one child viewers see is Mary, a nine year old whose spirit wanders the halls, and is only seen by a few people. One of those people is Peter Rickman, an artist who is hit by a guy driving a van being distracted by his dog (this is based on King's own accident in 1999).

Peter's latest painting is of a quaint Maine inn, but in the foreground is an animal that resembles an aardvark with very sharp teeth like a carnivore. It's this creature that comes to Peter as he's lying on the side of the road after he's hit and somehow communicates telepathically with him.

Once he's on his way to Kingdom, he sees Mary for the first time holding a bell, and the aardvark. Peter's alive, but barely.

Admitted to the hospital around the same time is Sally Druse, whose son, Bobby is a hospital employee. She is feeling some weird sensations in her arm, and is scheduled for an MRI. While she is on her way to radiology in Elevator #2, she hears the sound of a child crying. Sally's a clairvoyant who is attune to something that's just not right about Kingdom Hospital.

All in all, this is going to be a cool series. Even if you aren't a fan of Stephen King's books, I think you'll like this series. As I said previously, I'm hooked.


Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Stephen King: be prepared to be scared...

Tonight is the debut of the master of horror's primetime series Kingdom Hospital. I've never been a big King fan, but this show sounds interesting and I'll be tuning in tonight at 9pm ET/8pm CT.

I was watching something over the weekend about the actual Kingdom Hospital in Maine, and how it was the site about one hundred or so years ago of a uniform maker during the Civil War. The family who ran the company employed young children to crank out uniforms, and had them work in the basement in sweatshop-like conditions. The building burned to the ground, and the bodies of dozens of children were found in the rubble crowded around the one exit out of the building, which had been locked. Their spirits supposedly haunt the current day hospital. Of course, Kingdom Hospital of Maine denies this.

Stephen King based his series on the work of Eleanor "Sally" Druse, a paranormal expert who has documented the hospital's history and the strange goings-on there. Ironically, according to, there is a character in Kingdom Hospital named "Mrs. Druse". Hmmmm...

Review tomorrow...


Monday, March 01, 2004

Why I'm glad Columbus is a mix...

This is one HUGE cat!! LOL...he supposedly weighed 24 lbs when the pictures on this page were taken. The Maine Coon is one of the largest breeds of domestic cats, and I have seen MC's in person about that large. Columbus is part Maine Coon (according to my vet), weighing in at roughly 12 lbs, and I thought HE was a big cat.

If you want to see Columbus, go to my webpage . Columbus is right at the top of the page.