Monday, May 31, 2004

or not...

Saon called back. I told him that I talked to Mom about his helping out with the bills, and that she was a bit hesitant about that because she didn't know him. He seemed okay with that. If he decides to come here, then we could find a place for him to stay while he looks for work. In the time I've known Saon, he's never had any trouble finding work, mostly because he can do the kinds of work that no one else will do: the physical, laborious, backbreaking work of a laborer.

He talked of going back to New Orleans after all. He can get his job back at Belle Chasse, and he probably wouldn't have much trouble finding a place to stay if he didn't rely on his family. Perhaps, I told him, that would be a better idea than coming to OKC. I could join him there later, once he gets re-established.

Saon told me that he's paying for his divorce from Michele this week. He just wants to get it out of the way so he can get out of there. In exchange, Michele agreed to drive Saon and his dog, Blue, to Hattiesburg, MS, where his cousin David lives. David agreed to take Blue until such time that Saon could take the dog back.

Things seem to be jelling on Saon's end. I only hope that he is indeed sincere about resuming our lives together. If I go back to New Orleans, it's to stay, no matter what happens.


Sunday, May 30, 2004

He may come here...

I spoke with Saon this evening, and he was home alone, so we had a nice long chat.

Things in Hutch are still bad, Saon hates his job, and he wants to get out of there soon. He told me that he is going to sign the divorce papers this week sometime, that Michele doesn't want to work at saving the marriage, and that her whole family hates him. She's supposed to be going to therapy and various doctor's appointments relating to her stay in the mental health facility, but has cancelled all of them for whatever reasons. She has a job, so she can start pulling her weight financially.

He talked about leaving MN and coming here to OKC. He wants to find a place to stay (since Mom won't allow him to stay here) and help out with the finances. Mom is kinda leery about that because she doesn't know Saon, save for what I've told her about him. Saon said that he had always accepted that I had children and that I was what I called "a package deal", and wants to be where I am, and the people I'm close to. I don't know how that is going to fly with the family, so I'll have to play it by ear.

He is still having the issue regarding his dog, Blue. He hasn't found anyone who will take him in. Saon mentioned that if he could get Blue to Mississippi, then his cousin David (who I met in Gretna last year) would take him. David's taken a job as a firefighter there.

We talked about our relationship. He wants to be with me, for good, because he's absolutely done with Michele. He says he loves me and wants a future with me. He said again he wants to marry me, but I urged caution that he not jump in to another marriage so soon after ending one. I'm not all hot to get married again. I want to give it some time and see if we this is what we really want before we jump into marriage.

Then he totally floored me by saying that he shouldn't have let me go home from Gretna last September. He didn't mean for that little incident to go as far as it did. He didn't know then what he wanted, and still feels bad that it happened and that I was hurt by it. But, as he says, it's in the past; that he wants a life with me and only me. So, I guess it's still an issue in my mind.

Lord, I want a life with Saon, and I want it to work. I want to be assured that it is really me that Saon wants. I believe him when he says that he loves me and that he wants a life with me.

Maybe, I'm just scared of being hurt again. You only hurt the ones you love?


In Memoriam:

Well done Garry Trudeau!

Remember the fallen of this war this weekend. It's because of them, and the ones who have gone before in other wars, that preserve our freedom and our way of life. These men and women paid the ultimate sacrifice because they believed in freedom.

My father was a WWII vet (he was 49 years old the year I was born); my ex-husband served in the Navy; my son, Jeff, wants to serve his country as well. There is no shame in wearing your country's uniform, even if it's in a conflict that is unpopular, ill-advised, or started under dubious circumstances.

To our heroes, I salute you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.


Saturday, May 29, 2004

ehhh...pretty close...


Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator


Scott's birthday and dodging another tornadic bullet

We went to my sister's to celebrate Scott's birthday. We had a cookout, and the kids we playing in the inflatable kiddie pool. Dean's parents (Melvin and Gloria) and his sister Caroline (visiting from Sacramento, CA) were there as well. Scott got a GameBoy Advance SP and a Spongebob game to play on it. Scott's cake was cool-- it was a road with a toy car and a Route 66 sign on it. The cake was chocolate, and Dean kept giving Joey bites of it, and he (Joey, that is) was having a great time!

Apparently, Daniel has a chance to show some of his artwork thru an arrangement Caroline made, and he's dragging his heels about it. He has a couple of pieces done, but more are needed for a showing. Daniel stands to make a significant amount of money from the sale of his works, so I told him of JC's showing of his work last summer-- his first at age 39; and he didn't sell anything! Daniel's only 20, and he has a great opportunity if he'd only get his ass in gear.

We had to leave early because there was a tornado headed right for our part of Edmond, and Melvin, Gloria and Caroline left, too, because they wanted to get out of the area before it hit (Melvin and Gloria live in Enid, about 2 hours northwest of OKC). Turns out that the storm missed us again (whew!!), having made a turn to the northeast at the last minute. It ended up in southern Logan County (we're in northern Oklahoma County), but there was minimal damage, just a lot of wind and hail damage I'm gathering from the news reports I'm hearing; some damaged buildings, but nothing like the twin tornadoes from last May, and the F5 twister from 5 years ago.

Tomorrow, Scott will get to pick a place to have a small family party. He told me that he's trying to decide between Chuck E. Cheese and Golden Corral. Guess we'll find out tomorrow.


Five foot two, 100 lbs and 13 years old--

Happy Birthday, Scott!!

Love, Mom

Friday, May 28, 2004

You have been warned! LOL

Tanks Grrl is a restricted area. Authorised personel only



"Lean On Me" --Bill Withers

From the album Lean On Me --The Best of Bill Withers

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me…

(for my Cajun. Lord watch over him tonight.)

Thursday, May 27, 2004

How did they get here from this search?

My referer's list for 5/27/04, 11:10am CDT:

recent referrers for ~*Mi Vida Loca*~

• Google: my crazy life
• Google: mi vida loca
• Blogger: User Profile: Tank's Grrl
• MSN Search: mi vida -- More Useful Everyday
• Yahoo! Search Results for girls gone wild
• Search: doonesbury trudeau iraq bd - WebCrawler
• MSN Search: mi vida loca -- More Useful Everyday
• Google: mary kate olsen extreme weight loss [photos
• Yahoo! Search Results for mary-kate olsen "skin and bones"
• MSN Search: mi vida loca -- More Useful Everyday

How in the hell could someone find me thru a search for "girls gone wild"??? I went thru the first couple of pages of search results, and the majority of them have to do with sex, sex sites, sex acts, and the Girls Gone Wild video series.

Again I ask, how did they get here from there?? This isn't the first time I've seen this on my referer's list.

I just don't get it, I guess...


Little comfort here...

I don't believe this.

Check this out (italicized text mine): the draft issue has largely come to public attention due to pair of bills introduced in Congress (S.89 and H.R.163) which seek to obligate all citizens and residents of the U.S. beween the ages of 18 and 26 (both male and female) to perform a two-year period of national service (not necessarily as part of the military), and the Selective Service's advertising for volunteers to man draft boards around the country. However, both the Congressional bills were introduced back in January 2003 and have languished in committee ever since.

Additionally: Since a reimposition of conscription would require Congressional approval, which has not yet been given, it is unlikely that a draft (even if approved by Congress) would be underway as early as Spring 2005:

And even if the draft were reinstated tomorrow, it would take at least two years before it could produce additional soldiers for Iraq and Afghanistan, the experts say.

"It will take 193 days from the time that we get started until the first person is presented to the Department of Defense," said Alyce Burton, a spokeswoman for the Selective Service. It would then take a year and a half to two years to train the draftees and form them into new combat units, Krepinovich said.

So there's good news (the Draft probably won't be reactivated for a while, if ever); and bad news (that there are bills in committee to do just that). The gist of this is, there's not really anything for me to get all worked up over, that my Draft age sons are safe for the time being.

Personally, I think the present system the military has, an all volunteer force, is best. People serving now want to be there. If there were a Draft, then they'd get guys like Daniel who don't want to be there and believe we are in a war we cannot win that was started under rather dubious circumstances (got WMD's?). Daniel told me once that if he were drafted, then he'd file for concientious objector status, so that tells me right there that my son would not want to be forced to participate in a conflict that he believes is bogus.

But, read the article and judge for yourself.



Jury finds Nichols guilty on all counts.

McALESTER -- Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols has been found guilty on state charges related to the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building.

Jurors here began deliberations at 9:12 a.m. Wednesday and took just over four hours to decide the fate of Nichols, who has already been convicted in Federal court and sentenced to life in prison. The six-man, six-woman jury deliberated only about four hours before convicting Nichols on 161 state murder charges and of arson and conspiracy.

The verdict comes after two months of testimony from about 250 witnesses.

The jury will now decide whether Nichols is sentenced to life in prison or given the death penalty.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Lean on me...

Saon called me this evening. He's leaving Hutch, but he doesn't know where he is going to go. Things there have gone from bad to worse. Apparently, Michele has taken up with another man, and is flaunting it in front of Saon. She told him that she wanted to work things out with him, then she does a 180 and is willingly at the "beck and call" of this other guy (when he says jump, she asks how high). They may be sleeping together for all I know. I do know that she and her husband are not. Also, Michele's just gotten out of a mental health facility, though Saon didn't elaborate as to the reason(s) why she was there.

Saon swears that it's really over this time (something he's told me before), because Michele has hurt him for the last time. He's afraid if he does stay in Hutch, that someone is either going to get hurt or killed or put in jail, and he fears it might be him. He doesn't want to take that chance, because he has things he wants to do with his life, and staying there isn't the best thing for him to do. He says he can't go home to New Orleans because no one would take him in and he'd be on the streets. He's been there, done that, and he doesn't want to be in that position again.

He told me that he would sign the divorce papers that Michele gave him last month, just so he can end this sad, frustrating and painful chapter in his life. He swore that he would never give Michele another chance to tear his heart out again.

He knows he has to leave. He needs to find someone who will take his dog, because he can't afford the plane fare to have him shipped. He doesn't want to take the dog to the animal shelter, because he fears that no one will adopt a pit bull and the dog would be put down. Saon has a lot of money tied up in that dog, and I know he doesn't want to get rid of Blue, but Saon may not have any choice.

In the nearly two years since we met, both of our lives have been a roller coaster ride. Maybe we'll have a better chance if we stick together than if we were trying to go it alone (the whole is greater than the sum of its parts?). We were brought together for a reason, maybe this is it. He knows how I feel about him, and I am beginning to believe again that he feels the same about me. Only time will tell. Right now, Saon needs a friend, and he took the first step by calling me.

Lord, I want to be there for him. I leave it to You. Guide me as to the right thing to do.


Riddle me this...

from the book What's Your IQ? A Book and IQ Test to Find Out Just How Smart You Really Are! by Janet Terban Morris

You can either leave your answers in the comments, email them to me, or keep it to yourself with the satisfaction that you figured it out.



2. Punctuate the following sentence so that it will make sense:
That that is is that that is not is not is not that it it is

3. What is it?
What is the beginning of eternity, the end of space and time. the beginning of every end, and the end of every race?

Answers in the sidebar.


I wish you'd quit nuking me, man...

Yeah, you "". Just quit with your stupid nuking games. FYI, I've reported you to't think they've done anything, since you're still at it. Find someone else to bug. Maybe I'll just find a way to give you a taste of your own medicine, but I think I'm a little more mature than that.

So leave me the fuck alone, ya feel me, pal?


Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Know what?

I was in Picayune, MS with Saon this time last year. I certainly hope we're not going to do the "M state tour" again (i.e. Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota (him only), Mississippi). Aw hell, let's thorw in Montana, Michigan and Missouri while we're at it...

I gotta get BabyDoll fixed so I can blow this Popcicle stand!

(after I get some sleep because I'm just goofy now)

Monday, May 24, 2004

Be nice to me

...I gave blood today.

(and I got some cookies, Gatorade, and a t-shirt out of the deal).

Right now, it's raining outside, with thunder and lightning, and the possibility of "tornadic activity" (though not in my immediate area *whew*).

Mom's annoying housekeeper isn't coming tomorrow, but we may still have our weekly gig of watching Amalia and Joey while my sister either goes to her shrink or volunteers in a clinic somewhere.

I'm still a little po'ed at my sister for something she said on Saturday when we went out for Jeff's graduation dinner, but I'm not going to vent about it here.

I wish Saon would call...maybe I should call him...naaaah. He has the digits if he wants to talk to me. I don't really want to call him at his (hopefully) soon to be ex's mother's house anyway.


Sunday, May 23, 2004

Doonesbury--5/23/04 strip

About today's strip.


Isn't this week's Sunday section out of sequence -- not to mention inappropriate?
-- C. Pulver, Hartford, CT


Yes. Due to boneheaded creator scheduling, this week's Sunday section appears before B.D.'s arrival at Walter Reed Hospital (the facility referred to in the strip), and while he's still at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany.

As to the unfortunate coincidence of the last panel's artwork (drawn in April) with the recent grisly tragedy in Iraq, Trudeau shares your chagrin: "Most Sunday sections are prepared five to six weeks in advance, and today's strip was unfortunately overtaken by events. To 'hand someone his head' is a common expression, not normally associated with actual violence. I regret the poor timing, and apologize to anyone who was offended by an image that is now clearly inappropriate."

Those newspapers around the country who print their Sunday sections late were offered a substitute strip.

(bold and italicized text is mine --TG--)


Why is this such a big freakin' deal?

Some samples from my referers list:

• Google: olsen weight loss tabloid picture
• MSN Search: mary kate olson skinny -- More Useful Everyday
• Yahoo! Search Results for pictures of mary-kate olson way to thin

Why are people looking here for info about Mary-Kate Olsen and her supposed weight loss? All I did was comment on a tabloid headline I saw on the newsstand. The fact that people are obsessed about this isn't going to cause Mary-Kate to suddenly gain weight; indeed, it might cause her to lose more weight.

When she and her sister were on SNL recently, I didn't see anything unusual about MK's appearance (except that she darkened her hair). She didn't look too thin, or thinner than Ashley. They are both small girls anyway, so to me they just look like healthy young ladies, albeit ones who are maybe 5 feet tall and weigh maybe 100 lbs. on a good day.

Back off, people!


Saturday, May 22, 2004

Graduation: not the end, but the beginning.

All in all, Jeff's graduation ceremony was very nice. There were no long winded speeches from the valedictorians or the faculty, and the procession of the Edmond North High School Class of 2004 went surprisingly quickly (though Scott reported that he was bored).

There were signs all over the Myriad that said "no saving seats" and "no air horns", and there were both anyway. That kinda pissed me off.

Both the band and the choir performed. The band played all the requisite pieces associated with a graduation ceremony, and the choir sang two selections, "In My Life" by the Beatles (lyrics in previous post) and "I Will Be Your Window", which I didn't get to hear all the words to because we were sitting above and behind the choir.

The graduates then threw their mortarboards (grad caps) in the air (after first removing their tassels) and silver and blue balloons came down from the ceiling, and then it was over.

Usually, we'd go out as a family to a restaurant of the graduate's choosing, but both Amalia and Joey were tired (and Joey's cutting a mollar so he's not in a great mood anyway) so we're going tomorrow instead. So we all went home.

And I'm still up...


"In My Life"

John Lennon/Paul McCartney
From the album Rubber Soul

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

Friday, May 21, 2004


I actually added a new poem to my Write Here, Write Now blog!

I just hadn't felt like writing for a while, so I was looking thru one of my many notebooks and found this poem that was like half finished, and finishing it was actually easy for me; not the laborious exercise writing had been for the last few months. Maybe I can summon the inspiration to finish my manuscript.

I got some interesting info about "subsidy publishing" today in the mail. It's definitely a possibility at this point, since I'm not finished with the manuscript. Let's see how I feel once it's finished. I still want Saon to read it though. He'll undoubtedly think of other things for me to add to it.

And it's Friday: Graduation Day! My graduate is not real excited about finishing high school. He said to me today that the last 4 years went by so fast, that going off to college in August is a daunting task for him. Personally, I think being away from home (and all the drama that entails) will be good for him, even if he's only an hour away. He doesn't have a car so it's not like he'll be home every weekend.

(I hope he won't be calling me every time i turn around asking me to come down to Norman to get him, either. That's not a trip I relish making more than a few times a year.)

I gotta get back online and get this posted and get to bed. It's going to be back-and-forth to the Myriad (aka the Cox Communications Convention Center) time again.

Oh, SBC went on strike after all. I'm glad I didn't take that temp job working as a scab. I might really want to work for them one day.


Thursday, May 20, 2004

I'm not sure if I'm pissed off, or just amazed at the stupidity of it all

But, Jaime is pissed off. Here's why.


Wednesday, May 19, 2004

I just realized something...

that all of my blogs on Blogger are named after songs:

Mi Vida Loca (Pam Tillis)
Look What the Cat Dragged In (Poison, I think)
Write Here, Write Now (or Right Here Right Now) (Jesus Jones)

Music has always been a part of my life. Rock n Roll. HS marching band. Karaoke. Songwriting (something I have to get back to JC on when our lives are not so chaotic). So much of my life is guided by music of some kind. I remember things not by dates so much, but what kind of music was playing at the time. My time with the carnival will always be remembered, for example, by two very annoying songs by Nelly: "Hot in Herre" and "Dilemma". Yet, when I happen to catch them on the radio, I'll listen to them. Takes me back to a happier time, I guess.

And to top all that off, I was born the same day that the Beatles made their first appearence on "The Ed Sullivan Show". Maybe that's why music has been such a force in my life...


Monday, May 17, 2004

"I want cheap gas, dammit!" (Ralphie May, Last Comic Standing, 2003)

Well, Ralphie, you got your wish...sorta.

You can go to and find the cheapest gas in your area. I heard about this on the local news this afternoon. Finally! Maybe we can find a place to save a few pennies on the ridiculously inflated gas prices we've been seeing. You can even add a place with cheap gas to the site.

For example, the cheapest gas (at $1.82 a gallon) in Edmond is at 7 Eleven at the corner of Danforth and Santa Fe. The cheapest gas in the OKC Metro area is at a station at 6500 SW 55th in Oklahoma City. It's $1.75 a gallon! These are based on regular unleaded. These are prices posted in the last 48 hours.

But the cool thing is, you can do this for any part of the USA and Canada. You can even do this before taking long car trips so you can budget your money (especially those of you, like me, who have not a lot of cash to play with).

Go check it out!


Graduation madness...

Jeff's graduation is FRIDAY!!!! Yikes! There is still so much to do!

Still don't know how we're going to pull off that minor miracle of paying for OU, though. Jeff procrastinated so long about getting financial aid that I'm wondering if we'll have what we need when he goes down to Norman next month to register for classes, student housing (Jeff living on his own? -gulp-), and all that other stuff.

I got an email from JC today. His daughter is graduating from high school two weeks after Jeff, and his fiancee' is graduating from college on the 24th (how old is this woman anyway??? Lord please tell me that she's closer in age to JC than to his daughter!), so he's even busier than I am, with 2 graduations and a wedding! Damn, just thinking about that wears me out!

At least after this, I don't have to worry about another HS graduation for 5 years! But, Scott's birthday is coming up on the 29th, so I have to worry about that...what do 13 year old boys these days like (I mean besides 13 year old girls)?


Sunday, May 16, 2004

A public service announcement

[warning: this post contains humor]

Because the West wasn't won with salad.
(as seen on the back of a pickup in Edmond, Oklahoma)

Okay, that was a bit lame. You had to be there, I guess. I'm looking for things out there in the "real world" to make me smile, because I've been so down lately. It's been getting better, though.

Why is there (off on another tangent I see) something like 50 million garage/yard/moving/tag sales? Because it's spring and people are trying to get rid of all their junk? Two words for you, people: CONSIGNMENT SHOPS! Another word for you: EBAY! Today, when I went out, there were no less than 8 garage sales in my neighborhood, and it wasn't even the great semi-annual Neighborhood Sale. I think my mom held her only garage sale right before she sold her house in California, because 30 years of stuff wasn't going to fit into a new house. One house in my neighborhood had something like 6 child car seats for sale!

Wait! I know how Jeff can get money for college! The teenage pack rat can sell all his accumulated junk! What a concept! I wonder what that old ENHS marching uniform would go for? Hmmm...

(Jeff...I'm kidding! But at least think about getting rid of some of your can't take them to Norman with you!)

Well, I better get to bed. Maybe. If this FMS flare up with subside just long enough for me to sleep. *sigh*


Friday, May 14, 2004

I never expected this...

Several weeks ago, I arranged for my friend, JC, to get a virtual birthday bouquet from the Virtual Florist. Since I only have his work email, and his actual birthday is tomorrow, I had it sent a day early so he'd get it in time for his special day.

Well, instead of just sending me a simple email, he sent me a virtual Spring bouquet from the same site, thanking me for thinking of him! I didn't expect this at all, so I am rather flattered that he took the time to send it to me. This is the guy who is getting married in August, and he's been really busy with preparations and other things. He also has a side business dealing with graphic design (well, what else was he going to do with an MFA, huh?) that has been booming as well.

Happy 40th, ya! And, thank you!


Thursday, May 13, 2004

Yay! It's fixed!

Now my blog looks the same in IE as it does in Netscape. Turns out that one of the pics I had was too large and bumped everthing to the bottom of the page, so I just deleted that whole post (it was just a picture and a link anyway. The link had expired, so there was no need to keep it).

Thank you, again, Blogger!


Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Oh, my God...

I gotta get outta here...I'm going to fall dead asleep!

This is ridiculous...I should feel this way at 11pm, NOT at 3pm!

Guess I don't need the Tylenol PM quite yet...


From the tabloids (oh how I hate those rags!)

275-lb Martha Stewart collapses (too fat)

Mary-Kate Olsen: skin and bones (too skinny)

Oprah loses 95 lbs! (she was too fat, now just right?)


Give me a break and a little credit for brains here! What is the big obsession over celeb's weight here? So what if Martha is heavy, that should be the least of her worries.

Mary-Kate is a small girl anyway, and maybe she is a little too thin. She and her twin sister have been under scrutiny their entire lives. C'mon tabloid people, leave them alone. Let them do their thing without the glare of the paparazzi and the stingers of the tabloid press. They're not even 18 yet, geez! And you know, the minute either one of them gets fat, the tabloids will be all over that like stink on a garbage heap.

Good for Oprah! I know she worked hard to get where she is weight loss wise. Why is it such news? Anyone who watches her show can see she's lost weight. Thank you, Captain Obvious!

Maybe if the tabloid press would concentrate on a celebrity's body of work, rather than the size of their body, then maybe I wouldn't be so disgusted when I see this shit on the newsstands.

I'm glad I'm not famous. I'm too opinionated for my own good and I'd probably read them the riot act every time they published something untrue about me. If they wanted to know something about me, wouldn't I be the one they'd ask?

I just want to live my life on my terms...


Tuesday, May 11, 2004

The envelope, please...

Jeff has made his decision regarding which college he's going to attend...

He has decided to attend the University of Oklahoma as a member of the Class of 2008!!

Now, we've gotta figure out how we're going to pay for it. Jeff hasn't gotten any schaolarships, so we're going the Pell Grant/ FAFSA route. And, Jeff will have to get some kind of a job. I'm going to look into some other ways to get cash for him. Maybe we'll shame his father into ponying up some cash...

Lord, I need to get approved for Disability and SSI. Since Jeff will be a full time student, he'll get a check...that'll help...


Monday, May 10, 2004

Sick and Tired --Default

From the CD "The Fallout" (2001)

I feel it this tension inside of me
Pressure that's presently pushing down on me
The first time it starts with just you and I
Repeating myself but you don't hear me

I can see what you see, but is it worth it to me
The same old conversation over and over and over

I'm just sick and tired of all those lies you tell me
You say those same things to me over and over and over
It's safe to say you're surprised, I see right through you this time
But I keep telling you it's over it's over it's over

You've taken these things that belong to me
Twisted so tightly and torn so carefully
The last time it ends with just you and I
Alone in a room with these torn bed sheets

I can see what you see, and it ain't worth it to me
The same old conversation over and over and over

I'm just sick and tired of all those lies you tell me
You say those same things to me over and over and over
It's safe to say you're surprised, I see right through you this time
But I keep telling you it's over it's over it's over

You swore I'd regret it
Now thanks to you I can't forget it
Cost of this constant battle
Won't even miss you at all
Free from this life that you call

I'm just sick and tired of all those lies you tell me
You say those same things to me over and over and over
It's safe to say you're surprised, I see right through you this time
But I keep telling you it's over it's over it's over

The new blogger is driving me crazy

Maybe I shouldn't have changed the template, but I was getting tired of the one I had. It looks good in Netscape, but in Explorer it's all messed up.

Anyone out there have any idea how I can move the section with the posts in it up so it is parallel with the sidebar? I've tried fiddling with the settings in the template edit screen, but not knowing what any of those thingys mean, I'm afraid I'm doing more harm that good.


Saturday, May 08, 2004

Well, duh??

I thought this was interesting--

Stephanie is the #41 most common female name.
0.4% of females in the US are named Stephanie .
Around 510,000 US females are named Stephanie !

Pera is the #19498 most common last name.
0.0005% of last names in the US are Pera.
Around 1250 US last names are Pera!

Uh huh...and besides me, there are at least two other people with my same first and last name...

Let's do Saon's name (although I think I know how this is gonna turn out)--

Saon is a very rare male name.
Very few men in the US are named Saon.
Be proud of your unique name!

"Saon is a very rare male name" (No kidding, really???)
"Very few men in the US are named Saon" (I only know one...)

How about, just for shits and giggles, Saon's last name (which I won't reveal here)--

[Saon's last name] is the #26726 most common last name.
0.0005% of last names in the US are [Saon's last name].
Around 1250 US last names are [Saon's last name]!

Oh. Boy. Saon's surname is just a bit more rare than mine is, and Saon himself told me a few months ago that there is another person with his first and last name (Saon didn't know if this other person named Saon was a relative or not). A lot of Saon's male relatives have the name Saon as a middle name, but Saon really does have a unique first name.

And that could be a hindrance, especially with Saon's background. I mean, he has it tattooed on his left forearm, it's not like he could say his name was Joe Smith or something...

Okay, I'm babbling here...gotta go...


Friday, May 07, 2004

As of today, 2 weeks til Graduation...

and my ex has decided that he is not coming. He says that there is no one at his (new) job that would be able to fill in for him even for a couple of days.

C'mon, man, this is your kid's freakin' high school graduation! This one's actually going to college in August! You came to the graduation of the older kid who has frittered away the last two years of his life, but you can't come to this kid's?

Hell, I didn't take a temp job because they couldn't guarantee I'd have May 21st off, and there was no way in hell I was going to miss it!

Don't bother coming to any of the kids milestone celebrations... I knew you'd find a way not to be here.

Now I gotta tell Jeff. I honestly don't know how he'll take this. I know he'll say he doesn't care, but inside he'll be crushed, I fear.

Lord, I really want to strangle that man right now...


Thursday, May 06, 2004

This is strange

Someone was referred to this blog from a blog I thought I deleted months ago. I clicked on the link, and damn if it didn't go straight to a supposedly non-existent blog.

I've contacted Blogger about this issue, so we'll see if they write back with an answer.


UPDATE: 13:21 CDT 5/6/04: Blogger did answer my request, and the deleted blog is truly gone. *whew!*

Monday, May 03, 2004

Who the hell does this guy think he is?

This is outrageous!

This moron, Ted Rall, is a "political cartoonist". Not only does he have the extremely poor judgement to draw and publish this shit, but he does it on the very day Pat Tillman is remembered by the folks in his hometown of San Jose, California.

Okay, Mr. Rall, you're entitled to your opinion, but Cpl. Tillman is no longer here to defend himself against this slander. You didn't know this man, what his reasons for leaving the NFL and joining the Army were, yet you find a kind of sick humor in making fun of him now that he's no longer among the living.

What if it were YOUR son? Would it be funny then, pal? What about all the other soliders, male AND female, who gave up their lives to fight in this war? You think it's funny that they're gone.

You may not agree with this war, because I don't. But I don't make fun of those, like Pat Tillman, whose devotion to their country and our way of life is important to them. All you want to do is poke fun.

You owe the family of Cpl. Tillman an apology. You owe the American public an apology. You refused interviews regarding this cartoon. You're a coward, plain and simple. You speak big, but you can't back it up or defend your actions. You knew it was wrong, your syndicate knew it was wrong to run this cartoon.

Your right to free speech ends at the tip of my nose. I am offended by this disgusting disregard for Cpl. Tillman. He can't defend himself, so I will, and so will millions of others who are offended. I didn't know Pat Tillman, but I admire the fact that he gave up fame and fortune to serve his country. In my eyes, he's a hero.

And you're a useless piece of crap.


Wow, has it be a year almost?

A year ago this month (the 28th I think), I started ~*Mi Vida Loca*~. I think it was originally called "The Misadventures of Tank's Grrl" or something like that (which would explain why my addy is

I've had my ups and downs, and I've lived to tell about them here. I don't live the most interesting life, I admit, and no one can take my (mis)adventures away from me, since I've chronicled them for all the world to read. Someone left a comment recently that said they had come across ~*Mi Vida Loca*~ by chance, and that they've read every entry. Well, God bless you! I really mean that. Even I don't have that much patience (but then again, I know what's going to happen so I can skip the bad -IMHO- parts).

And I'm happy to learn that people actually do come here and read at least the first page. Some 250+ folks have come here since I put the counter on the bottom of the page about ten days ago. Granted, some of that number is me, but more are people who don't know me from Adam and take the time to at least stop by. Admittedly, I think some of them are people who think this is going to be a Spanish language site, based on the those people, I'm sorry. I got the title from a Pam Tillis song (the lyrics of which are in the archives for July 3rd, 2003).

Thru this blog, you've met my family, my friends, my ex hubby, my on again-off again boyfriend (on again, I hope, based on what happened yesterday); listened to my complaints, read my rants, have some idea what my political views (such as they are) are, and slogged along as I go thru "my crazy life", with its attendant roller coaster like ride. I just wanted to thank you for reading, and I hope you continue to stop by. Drop me an email or leave a comment if you're so inclined.

I may just do this again at the end of the month (provided I survive Jeff's graduation and Scott's birthday), so please forgive me if i sound redundant by then. LOL :)


Sunday, May 02, 2004

"You know I love ya and I miss ya and I think about you all the time...

don't you?" Saon asked me.

Saon called this morning. Michele has served him with divorce papers. He's still in MN and he's working while Michele appears to be allergic to being employed.

He's doing okay, but I could tell he was miserable just by the sound of his voice. Michele's whole family (except, apparently, her mother) seems to think that Saon is there to support their lazy butts. Michele's boyfriend is staying there now, too, I gather. Man I'll bet that's awkward! The boyfriend and the soon to be ex husband?

I asked him, "if you knew what was waiting for you when you got there, why didn't you just send Michele up there alone?" Saon replied, "I don't know."

And that's part of the dilemma he finds himself in; he's impulsive...he does things before thinking about the outcome. More often than not, he comes to regret it.

Saon wants me to come up to Hutch to visit at some point, and I told him that I would entertain the possibility. He said he'd pay for me to take the Greyhound round trip and for the stay in the motel. Truth be told, though, I'm rather hesitant to go to Minnesota. I don't want to have anything to do with Michele or her family, and Saon said that I wouldn't have to worry about that. I've never been to Minnesota, so I would like to take a look around, but I don't want to stay there. I still want to go back to New England. It's not Oklahoma, it's not Louisiana, and it's not Minnesota, but still familiar enough to both of us to be inviting.

I just don't know...I want to be with Saon, but I don't want a repeat of that disatrous trip to Gretna last September. That just about killed me...

I just want it to all work out.


There was something here...

and if you want to see what it was, go here.

I'm a little scatterbrained tonight. Sorry.


Saturday, May 01, 2004

The beginning of the end of the beginning

Jeff is getting ready to graduate. Only three weeks away now. We went to the ROTC dinner last night, and, as usual the OK-81st put on a good show. The seniors were the guests of honor in a way, because they were getting their pictures taken, they won the majority of the awards, and the slide show was all about them (they didn't use all the pics of Jeff I sent, though).

Jeff got a plaque, only to find they misspelled his last name (as if it weren't long enough!). Jeff, Daniel, Dean, Tori and I got our picture taken after it was all over, and Dean will probably purchase some of the ones that Jeff appeared in (the comapny that takes the pics arrange for folks to view them on the net, then purchase the ones they want).

This is going to be a busy three weeks for us though. I'll be taking Jeff to various events and putting a lot of miles on the van. I did that for Daniel's graduation two years ago, and I didn't even live here then!

Jeff now has to decide between OU and UCO. I think he'll choose OU, because they have the Navy ROTC program Jeff wants to get into. But, of course, where he chooses to attend college is entirely up to him.