Saturday, July 31, 2004

Now this is cool!

I just read on that Ralphie will be on the final episode of Last Comic Standing on August 12th. Ralphie came in 2nd to the annoying Dat Phan in LCS's first season last summer. Back in November last year, Ralphie had gastric bypass surgery. He'd lost over 100lbs. when he appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno in February. And he was still pretty big then. I wonder how much more he's lost, because there's nothing on his website that indicates it. Guess I'll have to wait until the 12th to find out.

But, this is so cool! I can't wait!


Happy Birthday, Mom!

That pain-in-the-ass oldest daughter of yours ;)

Friday, July 30, 2004


Am I the only person in creation who doesn't give a rat's ass about an iPod? I like my CD's and cassette tapes, thanks. The only good it would do me is to have one for long car trips, but since my car's currently inoperable, I don't take any long car trips anymore. CD's do me just fine on the odd occasion that I have to take a bus somewhere (Hutchinson, MN, perhaps? naaah!).

What I want is satellite radio! Dean has it in his Yukon and it rocks! I wonder if there is a portable version of that, similar to a Walkman.

Do I have to keep the CD industry alive all by myself???


Last Comic Standing: Wildcard

(NOTE: for some reason, my last update for LCS didn't take, and I no longer have the file. This is the update for the LCS shows for this week)

This week, there was a wildcard show where the five comics who were ousted got another chance to be in the finals. Each comic did their set, and the audience voted on who would go on to next weeks finals with the final five. On Thursday's show, the results were announced over the course of the hour long show. But first, each ousted comic performed again.

The first to be eliminated was Bonnie. Now, I'm sorry, but I just don't think she's all that funny. Her set is laced with put downs and profanity (the "C" word). Bonnie said a few things about being on LCS, how it was a good experience, etc.

Next to be eliminated was Corey. Then, Ant was next to go. Ant said that in a year no one will remember who won the competition, but they would remember him!

It was down to two: Jay London and Todd. Jay Mohr dragged it out as long as possible, but then finally announced the winner of the wildcard contest:

Jay London!

He will now join the other five comics next week for the finals. All will perform, then three will be eliminated. The final three will then perform, and the winner will be the Last Comic Standing!'s official recap.
Official recap from the show of July 20th


Thursday, July 29, 2004

Mom needs to get out more...

I've been here over 18 months, and my mother doesn't go anywhere unless I take her there. Granted, she is still (after thirty years, no less!) skittish behind the wheel, but nothing's stopping her from going out. Tomorrow, she has a doctor's appointment, and I'll be taking her to it. I hope she talks to her doctor about all the stuff she says is wrong with her.

A couple of weeks ago, she was all hot to go over to the seniors center and play bingo and socialize with people her age, but apparently she's forgotten all about that.

And forget correcting her when she's wrong about something that is written on the page or heard on television or the phone. She thinks that Daniel's female friend (NOT girlfriend--they're not dating) is named "Happy". The girl's name is "Kathy". Today, she was reading something in the paper and kept asking me where certain businesses are located. She's been here for four years! She definitely needs to get out more often. If I left Edmond tomorrow, who would do all these things for her? Jeff will be away at school, and everyone else has their things to do, so she'd just have to do for herself.

Because if I don't get out of here, I will go insane. There are no jobs here for me, and I can't get any assistance from the state. And arguing with my mom over stupid shit gets old fast.  Mom jokes that maybe she needs a keeper...and maybe she's right. But God forbid I suggest such a thing! I may never leave here if I do.

Don't get me wrong, I love my mother and want what's best for her. But I can't do it. I have my own medical problems to deal with. No one in my family understands what I am going through with the Fibromyalgia, nor do they care. I'm convinced they all think I'm faking it--believe me, I couldn't fake this if I tried, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.


Tuesday, July 27, 2004

...I hear that old song they used to play

Warning: nostalgia alert...

Before I was "Tank's Grrl", I was someone else. How I managed to be that someone else is beyond me. Someone Else was naive, clueless, and in major denial from about mid-1994 to 1999.

By mid 1994, I had had my fourth son, and I knew deep inside somewhere that my marriage had become this huge joke. Jon was, and still is, self absorbed, selfish, and it was his way or no way. I was tired of pretending that things were anything other than perfect. Everyone but me knew what an idiot he was, but by 1994, it was becoming abundantly clear to me that my marriage was coming to an end. I told someone recently that if I had things to do over, I'd have left Jon and taken the 4 kids with me and gone elsewhere. But, I didn't. But that's a story I still can't tell, even after eight years. It's still too painful.

But, I digress...

I was thinking about a man I knew when I lived in Norfolk, VA, today. I wondered how he was, and what he's been doing since I last saw him six years ago. It was a brief relationship with this man that signaled in my mind that my marriage was, for all intents and purposes, over.

I want to look on the internet and see if he has an email address, and write just to say hi...but I'm afraid to.

And this got me thinking about the relationships with men I've had in the years since my divorce. How I got to where I am now, how I became "Tank's Grrl".

Maybe I'll cover that in another post.

More than a feeling
When I hear that old song they used to play
And I begin dreaming...

Monday, July 26, 2004

Check out this moron...

Man, there are just some people who shouldn't have access to the internet. This guy is one of them. The guy's Yahoo! profile states he's 22, a student, and he was "saved" in 2003. His interests  are: Bible studies. And so the following conversation commences: first he asks me if I have a webcam, then,

try_me_on_4sighs (2:58:32 AM): no i don't
ky_man_2009 (2:59:47 AM): how big r ur boobs
try_me_on_4sighs (2:59:59 AM): you'll never know
ky_man_2009 (3:00:13 AM): why?
try_me_on_4sighs (3:00:35 AM): cuz you're a perv, okay?

(I then engage the "ignore" function in Yahoo! Mess-up-enger so I don't have to talk to him anymore)

I have scars on my body older than this kid is! And he's been saved, but asking 40 year old women he meets on the internet how big their breasts are? Better head on back to church, boy, cuz you be backslidin' big time!

And, in case you're wondering, I pasted our brief convo here in the event he finds this blog, because I think he needs to be a little embarrassed. Sometimes, kid, your actions come back to bite you in the ass. The next woman you ask that question to might be reporting you to Yahoo! for harrassment. To quote Joan Rivers: oh grow up!



Sunday, July 25, 2004

He called why am I so surprised?

Saon called back this evening and we had a nice chat (when he wasn't chatting with Kani and his girlfriend in the background, that is). He told me more about his job; it paid pretty well and that he doesn't have a set schedule. Most of his pay is overtime and he's going to use part of it to pay off the fines he got when he got pulled over for driving without a license. He says he's going to get his license in MN, and then buy a truck.

He also told me that he still has his dog, Blue, but the dog is at Michele's for the time being (I seem to remember that the last dog Saon had, he let Michele hold on to, then she got rid of it because it didn't like her). He's looking for places up there that will let him have Blue with him.

We talked about my possibly going up there for a visit, but I am a bit hesitant; I mean Michele is there, and I'm not ready to meet her yet, if ever! Also, I don't have the money to get a ticket, but Saon said he'd take of that (he's said that before, and then hasn't come thru with it). I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Perhaps my desire to see him will overrule my hesitancy. Saon's met my ex...I guess I could meet his. I just don't know at this point if I'm ready for that yet.

It has been nearly a year since we've seen each other, but that last visit didn't end so well. I just don't want a repeat of it.

Perhaps I shouldn't worry myself so much about that. After all, it hasn't happened yet. But, there is that little bit of doubt... (okay, Stef, knock it off!)

We'll just play it by ear and see what happens. That's the only thing I can do at this point.


Saturday, July 24, 2004

Inquiring minds want to know

I created this survey to find out the age range of the users of If you want to answer this syrvey, click on the link at the bottom of the box. The answers are updated periodically (which I didn't realize when I posted this originally).


(Updated: 7/25/04 @ 10:52pm)

I was just thinking about you...

I was getting ready for bed (really!), and the phone rang. Mind you, it's nearly 2am at the time, and Daniel had left about an hour and a half before, so I was thinking is Daniel in trouble, did he wreck his car? Well, it wasn't bad news about Daniel... it was Saon!

He's still in Minnesota, but he's not with Michele anymore. She and her mother asked him to move out because they're going to take in a foster child, and because of Saon's past, he can't be there. So he moved in with his nephew Kani and his girlfriend (they're in MN too). Saon told me that he's working on a combine for something like 14 hours a day. He asked me how things were going here, and I said things were okay, not great.

He couldn't talk long though, so he said he'd try to call me tomorrow (later today, I'm assuming). I think he's going to be up there a while, because he said that he had to pay off some fines for driving without a license (what, again??). He then said he loved me...

Okay, I know he loves me, but are we ever going to be together? And if so, is Minnesota where I have to go to be with him? (Okay, Stef, quit whining! He called, and he's okay.)

I love you, too, baby...I pray we can be together soon...


Friday, July 23, 2004

"but it's true love..."

Memo to Britney: True love my ass! -- Everyone's trying to get this ding dong to have her fiance sign a prenup, but she won't do it because she believes it's "true love". More like "True Lies"...what does she really know about this guy? She's known him something like three months, and she's going to put her personal fortune on the line for this clown?

Let's break it down this way, Britney: I have NOTHING, but if I were to get married again, I'd have my fiance sign a pre nuptial agreement. That way, if one or both of us were to become successful, and we were to divorce, each party could only leave with whatever assets we had when we entered into the marriage (which, as I have stated above, is NOTHING!). You have millions of dollars. He has nothing significant. If there is no prenup, he gets a hefty chunk of your fortune if you were to divorce. With a prenup, he can only have what he came into the marriage with.

But, as you say, it's "true love". Live and learn girly-girl. Don't say you weren't warned.

"Jack Russell"?-- how in the hell did someone find this site by typing in "Jack Russell"? Were they looking for the dog breed known as a Jack Russell Terrier, or the lead singer of the band Great White? If it's the former, see the post titled "The Fourth at the Nervous Dog Cafe"; if it's the latter, keep looking.

Who the hell is Cathey Tawny?-- and why is she using my email address? I've had more problems with people somehow getting my email address, attaching some fake name to it, and sending out ads for porn sites and male enhancement products. I thought I was past that (especially when a lot of them came back as undeliverable).

Desperate hours-- Hmm, seems to me that a certain candidate for the highest office in the land is getting so desperate, that he's running negative ads and slinging mud at every opportunity. And, it seems to me that a certain candidate for a soon to be vacant Senate seat in Oklahoma is so far behind in the polls that he's reneged on a promise to run a clean campaign. He couldn't be bothered to be interviewed by a local station as to his position on certain issues. (*cough*Kirk*cough*is*cough*a*cough*jerk*cough*). Results my ass!

Speaking of jerks-- Al Franken is making a big deal of beating Bill O'Reilly in the radio ratings. If people want to listen to this former writer for SNL pretend to be a political pundit and believe all the half truths and other garbage he spews on his show, then don't complain when you finally realize that you've been led down the proverbial garden path. It's just like him to toot his own horn. I'll take O'Reilly, with his 30+ years of reporting experience,  mega sucessful radio and tv shows and his honesty, any day of the week (including Saturday and Sunday).

If this crap keeps up-- I'll vote for Eskimo Joe and Buffy come November.


Thursday, July 22, 2004

9-11 chair: government 'failed to protect American people'

from KFOR-TV Oklahoma City

Read the 9-11 report here

WASHINGTON -- Sept. 11 commission chairman Tom Kean says U.S. government "failed to protect the American people" from terrorist attack.

Announcing the findings of the commission, Chairman Thomas Kean said the government was "not active enough in combating the terrorist threat" in advance of the attacks.

The head of the Nine-Eleven commission says the government was simply not active enough in fighting terror before the attacks. And, he said, the government's response on the day of the attacks was "improvised" and "ineffective," although there were individual acts of heroism.

The panel's report also said nothing the government did leading up to 9-11 "disturbed or even delayed" the future hijackers.

And, Kean said, were steps the government could have taken that may have led authorities to catch on to the plot, including better airport screening and keeping a closer watch on terrorist watch lists.

Kean also warned that an attack of "even greater magnitude" is probable in the future. He said the nation doesn't have the luxury of time. While the panel isn't blaming any individuals, Kean said every person in a senior government position at the time has some "element" of responsibility.

The vice chairman of the commission said reforms need to be made at home and abroad to prevent another terrorist attack. Lee Hamilton spoke to reporters after the panel released its final report on the attacks.

Hamilton said there's no single person that oversees various intelligence efforts, and that needs to change. He said that's why the panel is recommending a new national director of intelligence.

Hamilton also said the nation needs to "play offense" to hunt down terrorists and deny them safe havens and money. He said one way to do that is to make sure nations such as Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Pakistan are stable.

He said there also needs to be a "better dialogue" between the Western and Islamic worlds. Hamilton said the nation needs to kill or capture them before they can strike.

Kean said blows have been struck against terrorists, and attacks have been prevented. But, he said, the nation still faces one of the greatest security challenges in its history.

"We cannot let our guard down," he said.

If he weren't , and I weren't, then I'd...

Yeah, right! Who am I kidding here? He's got Kelly, and I have Saon (I think)...and we've been there already...

JC is one of my best friends, and he never fails to cheer me up. I emailed him a couple days ago to tell him that I am not getting this "A Course in Miracles" stuff. He told me that it took him a while to "get it" as well. Then he told me that he thought I was smart. I told him that I knew that I was, but sometimes I don't feel like it. Today, he emails back and says this:

  • You are smart! Very smart. That will take you far, Stef. We are all smart, but you recognize it within yourself, as many people do not for one reason or another.
and that's why he decided all those months ago to share all this stuff with me...the Carlos Castenada, Four Agreements, and "A Course in Miracles" stuff. JC said that he's been researching this his whole life, and that it answers all his questions about everything. And I think he believes that I may get some benefit from this as well.

This is what I've always liked about him, that he sees me as a woman with a brain able to understand all the stuff that a lot of people wouldn't take the time to understand. That I'm so much more than a chick with a nice set of boobs (okay, let's be crass, why don't we?). There aren't many guys out there like that (and this one's taken, dammit!).

No matter what else happens or doesn't happen in my life, I'll always have JC as a friend. That's a nice thought.


The latest from Tank's Grrl's referrers list...

Okay... check this out:

• HotBot Web Search for free pics of adult redheads (okay, they're lookin' for nekkid pictures, people!)
• Yahoo! Search Results for mi vida loca
• Ask Jeeves Results - what does living the vida loca mean (it just kills me that people think that "Ask Jeeves" is a real person. It's a search engine, there is no little man in your computer named Jeeves!)
• Yahoo! Search Results for www.mi vida
• Blogger: Blogger: Sign In
• Ask Jeeves Results - who is ken jennings (jeopardy)
• Yahoo! Search Results for mi vida loca
• MSN Search: vida loca -- More Useful Everyday
• Ask Jeeves Results - ken jennings jeopardy
• MSN Search: mi vida loca photos -- More Useful Everyday

"Ken Jennings" is the big topic of search for the last month. I don't know Ken Jennings, I just watch him win on Jeopardy like everyone else does. I don't have any biographical info on the guy. I've just mentioned his name in my blog sometimes. Maybe he'll tell more about himself tomorrow night on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

"Mi Vida Loca" means my crazy life in Spanish. There is a movie and a song by the same name that I've found in searches. The movie came out in 1993, and this blog is named after the song by Pam Tillis.

At least they're not looking for what's her name... one of the two young actresses that played Michelle Tanner on Full House. Leave the girl alone, people!


Wednesday, July 21, 2004

The only carb that matters is under my hood...

Dale, Jr. + fire = gulp! Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was in a firey crash in California last weekend. His Corvette burst into flames, and Earnhardt, Jr. was taken to a local hospital overnight for treatment. He was released the following day with minor burns on his chin and legs, and is still racing in New Hampshire this weekend. (Of course he is, he's an Earnhardt for God's sake!)

Attention to all of you who live/work in Boston: go on vacation. Seriously. My friend JC is doing just that next week while the Democratic National Convention is in town. Watch it all on TV. Telecommute if you can.

Britney's fiance to sign prenup: Seems that pressure from Britney's parents worked, and Kevin Federline will be signing pre nuptial agreement. On another note-- Federline's ex girlfriend gave birth this week to his second child.

Ken Jennings is still going strong: Jennings, the 30 year old software developer from Salt Lake City, won his 36th game today (7.21.04). The record for most game show appearances is 46 days. Jennings has won about $1,200,000. He's also scheduled to appear on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno this week.

Hostage's head found in freezer (eww): During a raid on an Al-Qaida members apartment in Saudi Arabia, the head of murdered American hostage Paul Johnson was found in a freezer. The rest of Johnson's body has not yet been recovered.

You gotta see this!: The cartoon about Bush/Kerry campaign at It's been on TV all over the place and it's funny as hell!

Mary-Kate Olsen on the mend: sounds like treatment is working. MK is doing great and expects to go home some time soon. There are STILL no pics of her at this site, so quit lookin' and leave the girl alone!

And that's all for now...


A course in confusion

Last week some time, JC gave me the URL to the book he'd been reading, called A Course in Miracles. I started reading it yesterday, and I can tell you some things about it...

  • That it's more confusing than JC's explanation.
  • That in the online version, it's laid out in chapter/verse format, much like a Bible would be.
  • That I should buy a copy of the book, so I can make notes in the margins.

I'm trying to expand my knowledge of alternate beliefs, but all I've managed to expand is my confusion quotient. And it doesn't promise to be less confusing as I read further. Indeed, if I can't grasp the first chapter, the rest of the material will be impossible to understand.

I need a New Age for Dummies there one?


Achtung! Attention! Attenzione!

I cannot believe the amount of email I get about property I supposedly own in a town I haven't lived in since 1999!

Just for the record:

  • I do not now, nor have I ever, owned any property, in Norfolk, VA or anywhere else.
  • I have not lived in Norfolk, VA since July 16, 1999.
  • I do not want any more emails about the buliding on Lucile Avenue. I only lived there for two years. You'd think that any address that contains an apartment number would be a dead giveaway that the person you're emailing DOES NOT OWN THE BUILDING!!!

Can we say "DUH!"? I knew you could.


Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Energizer Bunny and Monkey Boy

We just had Joey here today, as Amalia was at day camp, and Scott and Marc are at camp for 2 weeks. Joey has a bunch of teeth coming in and so he wasn't in a great mood today. He wouldn't eat, and he cried a lot. And do I mean a lot! The last thing he wanted to do was take a nap (hmmm sounds like a kid I know...about 19 years ago).

It got to the point that we'd do anything to keep Joey from crying, so Jeff decided to become "Monkey Boy". He'd jump up and down repeatedly and make monkey sounds, and Joey absolutely cracked up, as did Mom and I. Joey laughed so hard he fell and hit his head on the kitchen floor (he was standing up at the time). And so, he started crying again! But, Jeff kept it up and Joey was soon laughing again. Finally, Tori showed up to take her Engergizer Bunny home.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.

Such is my life as of late. I used to live a much more interesting life. I gotta get outta here.


Monday, July 19, 2004

Perhaps I should write something...

My weekend was pretty boring. It was hot, I had a headache that lasted for 4 days, and all I wanted to do was sleep.

Instead, yesterday we all went out to Jimmy's Egg on Broadway, because Scott and Marc were going to camp for two weeks, and that's where they wanted to go. Because there were 10 of us, Scott, Marc, Jeff and I sat in a booth while everyone else sat at a nearby table. Jeff ordered pancakes that were as big as the damn plate they were on! Scott got pigs in a blanket that were much larger than I think he expected. There were three of them, and Scott couldn't even begin to finish them (and I had to cajole him to finish the half he did eat, all while running his mouth at a million miles an hour! Boy, can that kid talk!). Marc just got two eggs, and I got an omlette.

Saturday was pretty dull, except when I attempted to get my ex on the phone. I think he sees our phone number on the caller ID and decides just not to answer it. So I left him a message on Yahoo! Mess-up-enger instead. He hasn't responded to that either! :P

I left a message for Saon, too, but I don't know when, or if, he'll get it.

Today wasn't any better. Still have the headache, and it's still hotter 'n hell. Summer in can have it! Gimme a cold snowy New England winter any time!


Sunday, July 18, 2004

Happy Birthday, Dad

I miss you.
the one you always worried about.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

I know this is a stupid question, but...

I'm watching a repeat of SNL, and G Unit is the musical guest. What does the "G" in G Unit mean?
Man. Where is Saon when I need an answer like that?

Horror Scope?

Stephanie's Daily Aquarius Forecast  17 Jul 04

Quickie: No, this won't last forever. But let's face it: It might last longer than you like.  (story of my life...*sigh*)

Overview: You'll have a chance to shine again tonight. Yes, that's two in a row. What can you do that might be nice for your companions? Oh, maybe ... sunscreen to protect them from your dazzling self?  (ha. ha.)


Daily extended (by
Sometimes it's therapeutic to keep busy, even if what you're doing seems to be mundane. There may be a lot of small chores and things that need to be organized around the house, so hop to it. This is actually the perfect remedy for the problem of thinking too much. If you think too much, you may get overly emotional about something that's just not worth it. As a result, your emotions may block you from achieving your immediate goals and responsibilities. Don't worry. This is just a phase, and you will find your focus again. If any storm is brewing in the air, you'll weather it with flying colors. If this were a test, you'd pass.

More from the "Stupidity for Stupidity's Sake" file

I'm at the library, and I've just discovered that I cannot access my blog on the computers here. They have it blocked because it's part of a site that has "personal homepages where the content is not regulated". Hell, I started my blog on the library's computers for God's sake! What's up with the change now? Did some stuck on herself soccer mom complain when her precious Jr. accessed Blogger, Diaryland, LiveJournal, etc. and found things that he shouldn't read (like other people's opinions, God forbid!)? I understand that the library is trying to keep questionable content from those it may offend, or those who shouldn't be exposed to it, but a blog? Just goes to show ya that a few ruin it for the many. Someone somewhere out there put adult content on a blog and screwed it up for everyone else whose only access to the internet is at a public library.

Man, I'm steaming... and it's NOT from the weather!!


Don't trash my country and expect me not to respond

I was blog-surfing via Blogger's Recently Updated Blogs page, and ran across this one.

The author of this particular blog has a post titled "I HATE BUSH AND
THE US". It seems that this person cannot differenciate between
the President of the United States and the American people who live
here. We just get lumped together, as if we are all GWB clones
who follow their leader blindly like sheep. He compared Bush to Hitler,
saying that there really is no difference between the two, except Bush
keeps it secret, and Hitler said what he thought. I did not agree with
what this person was saying and left a comment telling him so. I'll not
be surprised to hear from him. Did he honestly think Americans wouldn't
come by and read this and not say something?

Let's get one thing straight: I am proud to be an American.
Always have been, always will be. I just don't like the current
resident of1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. He gets us into this war
with faulty intelligence (as if Bush were saying, "Oops, my bad!"),
declares said war over two months in, when in fact it is not; sends not
only active duty troops over, but reserves as well; men and women are
getting killed over there every day; and now wants to send retired and
separated (as in having left the service) troops over, and won't let
those already there leave the service or retire until their time in
Iraq is up. What's next, a draft? God help us!

Bush needs to go. Bush needs to go to that ranch of his in Crawford,
Texas, and write his memoirs to assure his "place in history". Gonna
rewrite history like Clinton seems to have done, Dubya ole buddy?

You can't diss my country and expect me not to defend it. My father fought in WWII protecting our way of life; Scott Speicher
was doing the same thing when he flew off the flight deck of an
aircraft carrier 13 1/2 years ago and never returned (see sidebar or
click on link). I was never in the military, so my voice is the
only way I have to express my feelings about this.

/end rant.


Friday, July 16, 2004

From the "Stupidity for Stupidity's Sake" file...

Slow news week?
Amendment movement fails: Dubya wants to have a constitutional amendment to define marriage as being "between a man and a woman". It was debated and it has failed to gain any support in the current session. If you ask me, Dubya should keep his nose out of other peoples bedrooms. What folks do in the privacy of their own home is none of Bush's business! Or, as my son Jeff says, "Let the states decide." Hear, hear!
Martha Stewart sentenced to 5 years:  the "domestic diva" got the least amount of time she could serve under current federal guidelines. In addition to the 5 years in jail, she also has to have 2 years supervised probation (incuding 5 months of house arrest), and pay $30K. If you will remember, she was convicted of lying about the sale of her ImClone stock.
"Ponytail Bandit" caught: a man who has been stalking women visiting cemetaries in New Orleans and cutting off their ponytails has been apprehended and is in jail. Can we say "fetish"? I knew you could.
Pop princess parents urge prenup: the parents of pop tart Britney Spears are putting pressure on their daughter to ask her fiance, Kevin Federline, to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. Reports say that Britney is hesitant to ask Kevin to do so (probably because she knows that if she asks, he may change his mind about marrying her). Hey Brit, J.Lo had to shell out big buckeroos to 2nd hubby Cris Judd because there was no prenup. That's your fate if Kevin doesn't sign one. Ask him, see what happens.
Jennings jacks up the ante: Ken Jennings, the 30+ day champ on Jeopardy, is still winning. As of 7/16, his take is now $1.1 million! How much longer will this go on? I'm rooting for people to beat him now.
Negative campaign ads: I want to ask any candidate, running for any office, why I shoud vote for them, and not why I shouldn't vote for the other guy. Trashing your opponent doesn't make me want to vote for you. You hear me, Kirk Humphreys? George Bush?
"Who's this? Happy?": my mom apparently is "misunderstanding" a lot of what she hears on the phone lately. A few weeks ago, a young lady that my 20 year old has been talking to on the phone called asking to speak to Dan. Mom asked who was calling, and thought she heard "Happy" instead of "Kathy". And just today, Mom had her dental appointment, and told me that there was a sign that said "Stanley Dental" outside the office. When we got there, the sign actually said "Family Dental"! Methinks that my mom needs to have her hearing checked the next time she sees her doctor.
Ex pleads poverty...again!: Jon claims he's broke, and is saying that is why he hasn't sent any child support our way. Apparently, he had to pay to get his new (old) car registered and inspected, instead of paying what he owes his kids. He still hasn't called the child support office in Massachusetts yet, but I was able to find out that Mass. has been informed of the obligation, and we may get a check in 30 to 45 days! Doesn't help us now...we're pretty damned close to broke now!
It's a heat wave: it has been oppressively hot in Oklahoma this week. It was suppoed to be in the low 100's today, but it now looks like we may get some rain...let's hope!
From Tank's Grrl's referrers list: this is the best one this week-- "pissed off fibromyalgia". Yeah, fibromyalgia pisses me off, since I have it, and I found other sites where it pisses off others with the condition as well.
News flash: I have a headache. Any questions? Click on the "Twenty Questions" icons in the sidebar (it looks like a tree), and at the bottom of the page.
and that's a wrap...

Look, Mom! New dots!!

Ain't insomnia grand?

Not only did I change the dots, but if you see the last entry (ie the one before this one), I was so bored that I actually took the time to look up the official homepages of every town and every city I've ever lived!

(and why are North Andover, MA and Salem, NH towns, and Lawrence a city? They're all about the same size as far as I could tell...)

I gotta get some sleep...this is insane!


Tank's Grrl hometowns around the internet

I didn't think I could find all these, but here are the official websites for every place I have ever lived:

San Francisco  1964-1970
Costa Mesa, California 1970-1983 and 1984-1985
North Chicago, Illinois October 1983-May 1984
Seal Beach, California 1985-1988
Augusta, Georgia Feb-September, 1988
Chesapeake, Virginia 1988-1995
Norfolk, Virginia 1995-1999
North Andover, Massachusetts July-November 1999
Salem, New Hampshire 6 weeks between November 2 and December 17, 1999 (in a hotel, no less :P)
Lawrence, Massachusets 1999-2002
Edmond, Oklahoma 2002- present

Man, I get around, don't I?


Thursday, July 15, 2004

Hanging out at the food court at the mall--

OMG! There's a guy with a "purse" using the ATM machine! I wonder if he's...naaah--couldn't be! *wink wink*

Hanging out at the local mall doesn't have the same appeal in once did. Even if I did have money to spend, everything here is so over priced and so cheaply made that in the end, it doesn't seem like it's worth it. And who gives a rat's ass where you got your clothes? Are Hollister, The Gap, and Abercrombie and Fitch paying you to wear their names on the clothes you wear? I didn't think so.

OKay, here's a guy with a messenger bag...what about him?

Jeff's off at Waldenbooks getting more of that Manga or Anime or whatever the devil it's called. I think he should save his money for when he gets to OU, but try telling him that! He's a normal 18 year old male for cryin' out loud! It's just a shame I'm so damn broke.

There are two women and a little girl sitting sitting at a table a couple over to my left. One of them reminds me of Dean's sister Caroline.

Man, I'd kill for an ice cream cone!

I wonder what Saon's doing right now. Is he thinking of me, or am I not even on his thought radar screen?

Lord, I gotta get out of Oklahoma somehow!

I have to take Mom to the dentist tomorrow afternoon, so she can get her bridge replaced or fixed. Oh. Joy.

I have a headache. It's from the heat. We're damn near triple digits here. Just stepping outside wears me out. I had sun poisioning in 1996, and being out in this weather can be dangerous...I forgot to wear a hat and put on sunscreen. And, because of the fibromyalgia, it wears me out even more than usual. The alternative is to go and go and go until I collapse, but then I'd be useless to everyone for an indeterminate amount of time.

Is it 4pm yet? That's when Jeff is supposed to meet me after doing his thing (Damn, it's only 3:36pm...)

My hands and arms are hurting right now. My feet and toes hurt. My back hurts. And I'm not doing anything to make them hurt!

Some woman sitting at a table off to my right was on her cell phone and actually gave out the number to the party on the other end. Good thing I'm honest and not use that information for mischief.

Oh, how cute :P --two girls are wearing identical shirts-- they say "STYX" on them. Are you kidding me? Their parents are probably not even old enough to remember that band's first major hit back in the early 70's (hell, I barely remember it!). They couldn't be more than 15-16 years old.

I wish I could write right now (as in poetry, or on my manuscript). I've written exactly ONE poem in the last two months. That's pretty bad for me, especially when I know I can have periods of prolific prose...and the manuscript...*sigh*

What is it with people dressing alike today? Now I see these two teenage African American boys dressed in "wife beaters" (better known as a vest undershirt. Why are they called "wife beaters" anyway??), those dopey long shorts and white ball caps worn backwards. Sheesh! What a cliche'!

If I want to see someone in hip-hop style clothing, all I hve to do is think of Saon. That's his style...and he can get away with it. After all, who in their right mind would argue with a 300 lb. Cajun?

C'mon, Jeffrey-- I wanna go home!

Um, never mind...he's here.


Audio Post: the joy of insomnia (not!).

this is an audio post - click to play

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

How can you sit there and tell me you're a lesbian ponytail bandit who met Mary-Kate Olsen at rehab & played on Jeopardy with Ken Jennings?

Let's see someone find THAT in a Google search! [insert evil laugh here]

So sorry you are disappointed that you didn't find what you were searching on Google, Yahoo!, Hotbot, Sir Search, AOL, and Ask Jeeves for. I did this as a joke on all of you who are looking for the bizarre and more often than not get it because I can. If you're looking for the Ponytail Bandit, he's in jail in New Orleans; Mary-Kate Olsen is getting herself together, so just leave the girl alone; Martha Stewart may weigh 275 lbs, but she's more than likely going to jail. If you're looking for dirty pictures, you won't find them here, unless you want the pictures that got ruined in the basement of the apartment on Lucile Avenue in Norfolk, Virginia in 1997. And I don't have those anymore.

Redheads rock...Tank's Grrl said so.

[the preceeding ramblings contain humor...fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.]


Previously on Last Comic Standing...

Gary returned to the house after defeating Ant and everyone was glad to see him, but also a little surprised that Ant didn't win. However, the tension in the house has dropped considerably, and Corey moved out of the room he shared wth Ant because there were "bad vibes" there.

A cute pup named Rusty came to the house and everyone fed him. Later, Kathleen picked up the card from the Fortune Teller machine. The card said that the group will face its toughest crowd yet.

On the trip to the next challenge, the bus went through some pretty diverse neibrhoods. Everyone thought that their "toughest audience" would be inmates when they saw the barbed wire on the fences in the place they finally stopped. Jay Mohr met the group and explained that their tough crowd was inside the building. The comics were greeted by a clown, and then their tough crowd came in: kids! The idea was to dress up in funky costumes and try and make the kids laugh.

The comics realized that kids really were hard to please. Each person had their turn, some falling on their faces (literally and figuratively). Alonzo said that after this, he had a new respect for clowns.

To decide who was funniest, the kids were given stickers to put on the person of their choice. Kathleen ended up with the most stickers with 6, and won immunity. She also won a sumptuous meal at Noe, and got to choose two housemates to bring with her. She chose Corey, because he took her to Aspen when he won the laundromat challenge; and Gary, because she felt bad that she had voted for him the week before. Then they went off to their dinner date by limo!

The kids also chose Jay London as the worst, so he was tasked with making dinner for everyone else back at the house. Jay can't cook, so Tammy helped him prepare what looked like grilled cheese sandwiches.

As the time drew close for the next head to head, discussions were taking place about who would be the ones involved with the head to head. Jay London was looking forward to the challenge, and that the "Comedy Gods" would determine his fate.

The voting took place with everyone going to the photo booth and uttering that famous phrase, "I know I'm funnier than _______________". When the voting was over, there was another tie! Gary and Jay London each had two votes, thereby having to challenge each other to stay another week in the house.

At the "Last Comic Theatre", Jay Mohr got the audience going by talking about how much he hates cats. Then Jay London took the stage to do his usual routine of one liners: he buys his hair care products at PetCo; he wanted to learn music so his father gave him a blunt instrument and to "knock yourself out"; that his girlfriend had crabs so he bought her fishnet stockings (eww!)...

Gary was next and started out talking about The Pill...and that we all know which pill he was talking about; about those electronic roadsigns that show how fast you're going...until Gary realized he had something like that on the dashboard in his car!

When Gary was finished, Jay Mohr asked the audience to vote. When the votes were tabulated, it was revealed that with 89% of the vote, the audience chose Gary as the winner for the 2nd week in a row! Gary was happy he won, but sad that his friend Jay London was leaving. Jay said that he had had a great time, and that being on the show was a great opportunity.

Here's's Official Recap.


Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Okay, this is interesting...

Aquarius 13 July 04

Quickie: The brain is the sexiest part of the body. Don't be afraid to bare it all. (I know this, but no one else seems to)

Overview: Conditions upstairs are exactly the way you like them -- unpredictable, exciting and highly erratic. Try to be sympathetic to those who aren't quite so adaptable.

Daily extended:
Intellectual and creative sparks are flying. You will be innovative and inspired to get a lot accomplished. You won't forget your sense of fun, though. Have fun -- anyone can take a joke today, from your coworkers to kids' teachers even to your (yes) family. Open communication is key, but just ignore any overheard comments. They'll just distract you and don't mean anything. Romance is in the air. Single Aquarians may have the opportunity to start a sizzling affair (I'll believe it when I see it)

Monday, July 12, 2004

"High Flight"

In 1986, after the Challenger tragedy, President Reagan quoted the first and last lines of this poem during the memorial service. I had always heard about the poem, called "High Flight", but didn't know the history of the young man who wrote it.

Since today's Scott Speicher's birthday, and he's a pilot, I thought this to be appropriate. Also, my son Jeff wants to be a Navy pilot. He's known he's wanted to do this since he was a little boy. Though the idea of him flying scares me, who am I to squash a dream?

High Flight
John Gillespie Magee, Jr.

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds — and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long, delirious burning blue
I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew.
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God



Happy Birthday, Spike. You have not been forgotten.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

NBC Will Rely on Reality, Aim for More Laughs

This is so cool!

NBC decided to bring back Last Comic Standing back for a third go round in the fall after the Olympics! The move was unexpected, but the show has been a hit both this summer and last summer. Why mess with a good thing?

Oh, I'm a happy girl! This is one of my most favorite shows, and I'm glad I don't have to wait until next summer to see it again.



How to make a Tank's Grrl

1 part intelligence

1 part silliness

3 parts instinct
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Top it off with a sprinkle of curiosity and enjoy!

Happy Birthday, baby! :X

I love you and I miss you. I hope you are well and pray you are safe.


Friday, July 09, 2004


The 3am postings have got to stop! Damn, I hate insomnia!


Tank's Grrl's Daily Aquarius Forecast--7/9/04

Quickie: The bohemian lifestyle is alluring: poetry, late nights, deep conversations.

Overview: You do better after a good night's sleep. It also helps when you stop being so hard on yourself -- wipe 'should have' and 'what if' out of your vocabulary.

Daily extended (by
Today's conversations should be exercises in respect and understanding. Two ears and one mouth means that you should listen twice as often as you speak. If faced with a confusing choice, don't leap too quickly. Ask for the advice of a trusted friend or consult a trained professional. Differences between people are attractive at this time, but don't fall for someone completely the opposite of you. You will learn something new about something you do everyday.


Sometimes, I can really relate to my horoscope. But this is eerie. It's almost like they have been spying on me for the last month, since the conversations with JC about the suject of the previous posting began (before his trip to see Gary Renard).


Saon's birthday is tomorrow. I really don't know what's up with him, but I do know that he gets weird around his birthday. See, his mother's birthday was the day before his (so it would have been today), and I think he really misses her. I wonder what his life would have been like if she had not died 20 years ago this fall? He's never really dealt with any of that, so it festers inside him, like he blames himself in a way for her death. That's one hell of a guilt trip to put on an 8 year old boy! In a way, Saon's still that 8 year old, trying to get thru life the best he can without a real support system. He still doesn't see that that's what I want to be in his life...someone to turn to when things get rough, because then we can get thru them together. I'm no replacement for his mother (I think that role was filled in part by Michele), but I think I do understand where he's coming from.

But...our being together is entirely up to him. I can't sit here and worry about it. I have my own unique set of problems that have nothing to do with him. I love Saon, and I always will. If we were meant to be together, then we will be.


Thursday, July 08, 2004

Information overload

I got a nice surprise today. JC sent me an email.

When I last wrote to him, he was trying to explain this new (?) concept he was learning about. He recently attended a seminar by new age speaker Gary Renard, and JC was trying to explain about all he had learned, but the entire concept was so over my head that I can't get my mind around it. Part of his email was him trying to explain it in a way that made sense to me...recognizing, perhaps, that I'm not stupid, and that there are just some theories that I'm not going to get no matter how hard I try. Quantum physics might be easier for me to understand!

For example: Hope you don't think I'm turning into a holy roller!

What I am doing is slowly waking from this dream is all.
Believe me! This is all a dream. The reason we aren't awake in reality is because really we are sleeping in God's kingdom.

The reason why we're asleep? Is because we feel horrible that we've rejected God and His kingdom to be 'here.'
Since he doesn't know anything but love and joy, he doesn't acknowledge this dream.


This is just a little more information than my brain can process. This challenges all I've ever learned regarding my personal beliefs. Where does the Bible fit into all this? Is there even a place for it? Is everything I've been taught as a Catholic a lie? I'm not so sure I want to know the answer to that, with all due respect to JC.

I have to do this at my own pace, and if my pace is as slow as a turtle crossing the road, then so be it.

I have no problem admitting that I'm confused...

JC is one of my dearest friends, and if it's his bag,, more power to him. Carlos Castenada and Don Miguel Ruiz were easier to understand, IMHO.


Stupidity for stupidity's sake

From the "It's a slow news day/week/month" dept.:

  • A recent study concluded that the majority of NYC cabbies are foreign born. No kidding, really? How much of my tax dollars were wasted on this insipidness?

  • The Britney/Kevin interview. OMG! Did you read their interview in People? If it were any more sugary sweet, I may be in need of an insulin shot! It made me want to throw up (all over the "happy" couple preferably). Kevin Federline is marrying Britney for one reason and one reason only: because she's Britney Spears! Duh? If the marriage goes south, he gets a big alimony settlement. Earth to Kevin: does the name Cris Judd ring a bell? Besides, you've known your blushing bride to be for all of, what, three months? Boy, can your kids be proud of you! Think either one of these morons are thinking of a prenup? Nope!

  • J.Lo and Marc in trouble already? Surprised? I'm not. After all, it's her that Britney is apparently trying to immulate (whether Britney knows it or not). And Mr. Anthony may be a talented singer, but he can't keep it in his pants. First a paternity suit, then he marries La Lopez before the ink on his Dominican divorce is dry? uh huh...I give it until Christmas. No...Thanksgiving. Halloween, anyone?

  • Saddam Hussein's day in court. He argues with the judge, he still delusionally declares himself the president of Iraq, and claims he's not a criminal, but George Bush is. Dude, remember those Kurds you gassed some years ago? Bush didn't do that-- YOU DID! By the way, where is Scott Speicher, the American pilot you've been holding captive for several years now? Don't tell us you never heard of the guy, we know better than to believe anything you say (you said you were still the president of Iraq for cryin' out loud!). We know that you know where he is. Oh, and your murderous sons are dead and roasting in Hell, or whatever you call it in your faith. Hopefully, you will join them there.

  • Qaddafi's daughter is a member of Hussein's defense team. Boy, you dictators stick together! Like you have any prayer of getting off. We're preparing your cell in Abu Gharib as we speak. Maybe Lynndie England will pose in a picture with you.

  • The Brad DeLong bug. Is this what profs at Stanford aspire to? To be a computer bug to force people to read your Michael Moore inspired claptrap? Though I was able to put my RSS list back together on Yahell, the BDL bug has taken over one of the feeds again. [insert heavy sigh here]UPDATE: that's been fixed...but for how long?

  • My ex. Text messages at 2 am, just after I fought hard to go back to sleep, are a pain in the ass. His not answering his phone when I call him is getting very tiring. He's trying to avoid me reagrding the child support issue. He says he called the child support agency in Massachusetts, and because there was a 45 minute wait to talk to someone, he hung up and hasn't called back. He isn't going to be happy until I have his ass thrown in jail for non-support. Meanwhile, there is a line to beat the crap out of him if he dares set foot in Oklahoma. Get in line behind the 18 and 20 year olds and their 75 year old grandmother.

  • Ken Jennings, professional Jeopardy champion. Frankly, I'm tired of this computer programmer from Salt Lake City. He's been on a winning streak for close to a month now. This season, Jeopardy changed their rules about how long a champion can stay and defend himself. It used to be five days, now it's they stay as long as they keep winning. I think that they'll be rethinking that change for next season. Jennings has close to $1 million dollars of Merv Griffin's money. Jennings also made it into the same People issue as Britney and her fiance (see above). Oh. Joy.

  • BTW, if you take offense to any of this, just click on "Disclaimer" over there on the sidebar.

    Thank you for your support.


    Wednesday, July 07, 2004

    Well well well, pt 2

    It seems that I can add my RSS choices now. I'm not getting Mr. DeLong's political meanderings no matter what I choose. Good.

    Now if Blogger would be so kind as to find my 2 previous posts, I'd be eternally grateful.


    Well well well...

    I finally heard something from Yahoo! about the Brad DeLong "bug" on Yahoo!'s RSS
    retrieval service...


    Thank you for writing to My Yahoo!.

    I have forwarded a copy of your email to the My Yahoo! Production team
    so that they can further investigate this problem. I appreciate your
    reporting it to us. Your input helps us to constantly maintain and
    improve our services.

    Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.



    Yahoo! Customer Care

    For assistance with all Yahoo! services, please visit:

    In other words, they're passing the buck to another department. What else is new under the sun, eh?


    If it's Tuesday...

    it must be time forLast Comic Standing...

    On last night's show:

    Tammy returned to the castle after defeating Todd in the head to head challenge to a hero's welcome,at least by Ant. Gary was dismayed that Todd lost, that he had lost a friend when he really needed a friend (Gary-- Todd WAS NOT FUNNY, dude).

    In a bid to influence Jay London's loyalty to the "Alliance", Ant gave his prize of the professional photo session to Jay, telling him that he had just had photos done. Jay was surprised by the offer, and thanked Ant and gave him a hug.

    The fortune teller's card revealed the next challenge: the comics would roast one of their own, calling on their writing skills and working under a deadline. The group voted for the "roastee" by placing cigars in boxes with each comic's name. With six cigars in his box, the person they would roast was Jay London. The roast would take place at the Friar's Club. The winner of the challenge would win a 1 year membership at the Friar's Clib of Beverly Hills. Jay Mohr showed the group an envelope, and would reveal the contents after the roast.

    At the Friar's Club later that day, Jay Mohr introduced the judges, who would score each comic on their writing and "roasting" skills. The judges were Norm Crosby, Phyllis Diller, and Rich Little.

    Gary was up first, and pretty much roasted everyone on the dias. His best line was that he went to Corey's house for dinner, where there was a "children's table and an illegitimate children's table".

    Other's were not as good at the roasting thing as they had hoped. Kathleen pretty much bit the dust, by her own admission. Alonzo seemed to have the gig down pat, and Corey knew it didn't go as well as he would have liked. Jay London then did his thing, and even he didn't do as well as he could have, but because Jay's whole act was self-depreciating humor, it worked for him.

    The judges gave feedback on each comics performance, and they all agreed that Alonzo did the best job, therefore became a memeber of the Friar's Club. However, Jay Mohr then revealed the contents of the envelope he had showed the comics at the house: by voting for Jay London to be roasted, he had won immunity from elimiation. Alonzo was disappointed, because he assumed that if he won the challenge, he'd be the one with immunity.

    Meanwhile, back at the castle...Gary realized that the "Alliance" was looking to get him out of the house. He wanted to go up against Ant, but since he could only challenge those who vote against him, Ant told Gary that he wouldn't be voting for him.

    Everyone voted and Gary did get the most votes, and surprisingly, Ant did vote against Gary. So guess who Gary picked for his head to head challenge?

    At the "Last Comic Theatre", Jay Mohr did his usual bit of stand up. This week it was about women's "getting ready for bed" routine.

    The head to head began with Gary going first. He talked about his height (6'6") and people asking him how tall his parents were (they were short, his dad being under six-feet); that he loves his mother, but hates driving with her; and Oreo "double stuff" cookies.

    Ant was next and did his whole routine about his former job as a flight attendant; the Romainian princess who ordered him about by sayng that she was a princess and she orders people around. Ant shot back that he was a "queen" and he outranked her! The next part of the bit was emergency procedures in the event of a crash (provided that anyone survived it, that is), in Ant's frenetic style.

    The audience cast their votes and with 73% of the vote the winner was...


    IMHO, Ant was the funnier of the two. Backstage, Ant said he had had a great time, and that he wasn't the brains behind the "Alliance". That he was a puppet and that someone else was pulling the strings.

    NBC's official recap is now online.


    Tuesday, July 06, 2004

    Yahoo!'s RSS retrieval service is all f'd up

    Who the hell is Brad DeLong, and why does Yahoo! think I'd be interested in reading his blog?

    I had 6 RSS feeds listed on Yahoo! on my My Yahoo! page, and all but one of them was replaced with the blog of this Brad DeLong. I've written to Yahoo! about this and am still waiting to hear what they are planning to do about it. I then went to this guy's blog and attempted to tell him to keep his politics to himself, and convieniently, his comments aren't working (gee, I wonder why? Is it because he somehow got his blog on every Yahoo! users RSS feed listings?)

    I don't really care if the guy IS a prof at Stanford, I don't want to be forced to read his political views.


    I'm so tired...

    We had everyone here today. Scott kept himself occupied with his GameBoy, Marc was being a know-it-all, Jeff didn't get up for the day until around noon, Amalia spilled chocolate milk on her dress and Mom had to wash it (she wore one of Mom's blouses, which looked like a too-big dress on her), and Joey was walking all over the place.

    All I want to do is take a nap.

    I was thinking today that I had surgery on my left knee 12 years today. And it still bothers me!

    Today would have been my Uncle Ray's 90th birthday. He died in December of 1997. He was my father's older brother. My dad would have been 89 on the 18th of this month. Their sister, my Aunt Elena, is still living. She will be 86 in August.

    Saon's birthday is Saturday. I wonder if I'll hear from him by then?


    Monday, July 05, 2004

    The the Nervous Dog Cafe'

    While everyone else went up to Enid, Mom and I stayed here (no one ever asks us if we want to go anyway). I went over to my sister's and put her dogs in the garage while the fireworks and stuff were going off. They have three dogs now, but three years ago, they had a fourth one, a Jack Russell terrier named (what else?) Jack. Over the Fourth holiday that year, Jack got out and ended up getting hit by a car and died. So, they try to keep the remaining dogs in the garage during the fireworks, and I was asked to put them in there, then go back later and put them back in the backyard.

    When I went back, there were three very agitated canines. I put them in the backyard and sat out there with them for a while. The older female, Betsy (I call her "Lovebug"), practically climbed into my lap. After I got them all calmed down, I left to go home. I wasn't home 15 minutes when Dean shows up at our door to bring Jeff home!

    So other than watching "A Capitol Fourth" on PBS, that was my weekend. Wee.

    (I gotta sleep)

    Saturday, July 03, 2004

    Memphis Soul Song

    I saw the video for this song at the mall today. The lyrics that caught my ear were these:

    With an angel on my left side and the devil on my right
    She's the one who saves me from them dark unholy nights
    Of all the ones who've left me it's a wonder she's not gone
    She moves me like a Memphis soul song
    She moves me like a Memphis soul song

    I got them from this site. See the rest of the lyrics there.

    Saon, are you listening to this song? As long as you want me around, I will never leave you, and I will never hurt you.


    Friday, July 02, 2004

    My ex-husband IS insane!

    He sends me this text message this morning that says that he has all the letters, notes, cards, etc., from when we were dating, and he doesn't want them any more, that he wants to send them back to me!! WTF??

    I didn't even dignify that ridiculous message with a response! He thinks that by doing that, he could pretend that a 16 year marriage and 4 children never happened. And yesterday, he said that if he had it all to do over again, he never would have married me if he knew the marriage would end in divorce.

    This was prompted by the child support issue, and the fact that I was making him broke, that I was being "unreasonable", by insisting that he live up to the obligation of supporting the children he fathered. Then he says that he hates the fact that he fathered boys! He wishes that he had fathered girls instead!

    I'm glad we didn't have any girls! He was impossible anyway, hoping for a girl every time i got pregnant and being disappointed, like it was MY fault we had boys. I can't imagine what he would have been like if we had had a girl.

    So, dear, what should you do with the letters I gave you when we were dating? Burn 'em! I lost yours in that flood of the basement in that one apartment in Norfolk back in '97. And go get some psychiatric help for your problems. You live in a fantasy world if you think that by getting rid of things that remind you of our failed marriage, you can pretend it never happened and that you fathered four sons. You are a very disturbed person. I'm glad I am no longer married to you and that you are out of my life. You tried to control everything about our marriage and about how I acted, looked, dressed and such. You just can't stand it that I've moved on, can you? This all started when I hooked up with Saon. You just couldn't stand it that I found someone else, and no longer wanted to have anything to do with you and your bizarre behavior. Just live up to your court ordered obligation and your life will be much easier. If anyone is being unreasonable, dear, it's you!


    Thursday, July 01, 2004

    I'm feelin' kinda rough...

    I've been feeling under the weather for the last couple of days. Part of it, I think, is stress related; and part due to FMS realted stuff (the all over pain, fatigue, stiffness, brain fog, etc.).

    Looking back on the week just about to end, I can see where the stress might come into play. Just check out the posts about my ex-husband...

    Things will look better next week. At least I hope so.


    Audrey Seiler Pleads Guilty To Obstructing Police

    (At least she's getting help for her depression. --TG)


    In March, Wis. Coed Claimed She Was Abducted By Armed Man

    UPDATED: 12:54 PM EDT July 1, 2004
    MADISON, Wis. -- Audrey Seiler, the University of Wisconsin student who faked her abduction, was sentenced Thursday to three years of probation after she pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor counts of obstructing officers.

    She also was ordered to reimburse the Madison Police Department, which spent $100,000 investigating her abduction claims.

    Before the hearing, attorney Randy Hopper said his client, Seiler, 20, of Rockford, Minn., reached a plea agreement and would be appearing for sentencing.

    Madison had been preparing for a media circus downtown because of the national attention the case captured in March, when Seiler was missing for four days before walking out of a marsh on the south side of Madison in good condition. She told police that an armed man had been holding her hostage.

    But police concluded she made up the story -- after obtaining a store videotape showing her buying the knife, duct tape and other items she said were used to restrain her.

    Hopper appeared on her behalf in April in Dane County Court and said his client would try to reach a plea and avoid trial.

    She is free on a signature bond and is reportedly home with her parents in Rockford.

    Seiler admitted to police that she had lied to them several times, according to the complaint.

    "I'm so stupid. I'm sorry for all this," the complaint quotes Seiler as saying. "I'm finally telling the truth. It feels so good."

    Seiler has withdrawn from the University of Wisconsin and is currently in therapy. She says severe depression caused her to act irrationally.

    If I pass ya in the air

    ...on the way out, I'll wave!

    (And for those of you going HUH???? I guess you really had to be there. in Oklahoma during tornado season...)