Saturday, April 30, 2005

Do you ever wonder about...

whatever happened to your ex boyfriends/girlfriends/significant others/flings, etc?

Sometimes, I do. Sometimes, I think I'd rather not know.

As for me, I do wonder about a couple of them. Not Jon or Saon, because I've written about them here too much, and if you read this blog on a semi regular basis, you probably know about them what I know (except for Hannie, who has met Jon and knows what he's like).

For example, there's Pat. He was my first fling after I realized that my marriage was irretrievably broken. He made my life for a time kinda exciting, because everything with him was done on the QT, because he was well known locally, and he was (and probably still is) married.

I've tried Googling him, but nothing comes up for him. It's like he's fallen off the face of the earth.

Then, there's Tom. He hangs out at Salisbury beach all the time, and that's where I met him some three years ago. I've talked to him on the phone a couple of times since moving to Oklahoma, but he didn't say too much. I heard thru the grapevine that he was dating a woman he'd previously had a relationship with. He and Pat (see above) were the only ones I'd been involved with that were older than me. Everyone else (sheesh, like there's been a lot) has been younger.

Where are all the men who are my age and a little older? With much younger women, no doubt.

Well, JC is my age, but he's pretty well off limits.


My idiot ex husband lost his job. I called him yesterday for the umpteenth time wondering what the hell is up with him. After I left for school yesterday, he called the house. Seems that Bevie laid him off, or at least that is what he told my mom. He's now trying, he says, to find work that he is trained to do (electronics and related stuff), and was getting a copy of his Navy records so he could possibly get college credit for the electronics training he got in the Navy. I don't know if that means he's going to go back to school or what. What I hope it means is that he's going to get another job like he had at Lucent which pays decently and he can live decently.

Mom said that he'd call back and talk to me, but as of yet, he hasn't. I'm not holding my breath.


I'm not holding my breath for Saon to get in touch with me any time soon, either. He made his choices, now he has to live with them. He totally backed off when I told him I had gone back to school. I don't know if the idea that I've gone on with my life intimidated him or what, but, whatever he thinks, it's wrong. Of that I am pretty sure. Saon gets his best exercise jumping to conclusions.

But, come on, am I supposed to wait for him to make up his mind about whether he wanted a relationship with me or not? So, he can break my heart again? No, thank you. He knows where I am and how to get in touch with me if he wants to make a serious effort at it. Apparently, he likes the combative relationship he has with Michele, so she can have him. I know what will happen with them, and that's when I'll hear from Saon again, when the relationship with his ex wife goes to hell like it usually does. Both of them seriously need to buy a clue... the only good thing between them is sack time. All I was to Saon was a short wait between trains, and I see that now. Saon can deny it all he wants, but that's the gist of it. I do believe he loved me, and maybe still does, but I cannot wait anymore. My feelings for him haven't changed. I do love him. I love him enough to let him go and live his life the way he wants.

I only pray that he is happy. Somehow, I don't think he is. He'll be searching for that elusive something for the rest of his life. I believed that I had that something, but he apparently thinks differently.


Okay, I lied. I mentioned my ex hubby and my (alleged) ex boyfriend in this post. So sue me.


That's all from where I sit.


Yeah, I kinda knew this...

Your Birthdate: February 9

Your birth on the 9th day of the month adds a tone of idealism and humanitarianism to your nature.

You become one who can work easily with people because you are broadminded, tolerant and generous.

You are ever sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you are very sympathetic and compassionate.

Your feeling run deep and you often find yourself in dramatically charged situations.

This 9 energy always tends to give more that it gets.

Yet another blogthings thing.

Okay, yeah, it's another meme...I didn't really have a lot to say this week, I guess. Besides, these are kinda fun sometimes.

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, April 28, 2005

I've been meaning to look this up...

When I was still with the carnival, we had a spot in Hebron, Connecticut to play. A caravan of us were driving there from a spot in Springfield, Maine. After a stop at the "Winter Quarters" in Salisbury, Mass., we drove into Connecticut and passed this bridge where there were two gigantic frogs sitting on huge spools of thread. I thought the bridge was rather comical and took a picture of it with the little throw away camera I had with me.

I just looked up that bridge on Google, with nothing more for info than "frog bridge" and Connecticut. Turns out that I was right in thinking that it was in Willimantic. What I didn't know was the history involved. It's pretty comical in itself in hindsight, but at the time, I'm sure it wasn't.

For the pictures of the bridge, go here. For the history of the bridge, go here (there are pictures here, too).

And that's all from where I sit.


On the eve of the Downtown Edmond Arts Festival...

I received an email from JC...and he's having another showing of his artworks beginning next week!

From the tone of the message, it sounds like this is the big deal! I am so thrilled for him! My only regret is that I can't go to Massachusetts and see this for myself. Perhaps if things go my way with school and such, I might get to see one of JC's art shows yet.

I wasn't the only one who got this email. I think JC sent it to everyone he's ever known, because there had to be at least 100 names listed in the "TO:" section.

This weekend is the Downtown Edmond Arts Festival. They've already started closing off the section of Broadway that hosts the festival. I'd like to get down there at least once this year, like I have the last 2 years. I read in the paper that Edgar Cruz is supposed to perform, but didn't say when. I saw him on a show on the local PBS station, and have wanted to see him in person ever since.

And some of the art there is fantastic! I'd hoped that JC would come here to show his stuff, but I guess he's staying locally in Mass. for now.

Man, I want to go to Massachusetts in the worst way! But, I have school and my future radio career to think about here.

But, I am happy for JC. He's waited all his life for this, and now this is his 2nd big show (first one was last year, I think).

That's all from where I sit.


Okay, I've been tagged...

Thanks, Keith!

If I Could Be A...

If I could be a scientist... I'd try to find a cure , or at least a reasonable cause for fibromyalgia, so that no one else has to have this painful malady.

If I could be a farmer... I'd grow organic vegetables and raise free range chickens

If I could be a musician... I'd use my gift to make sure that kids who wouldn't ordinarily have the opportunity to learn music, could.

If I could be a doctor... I'd be patient, understanding, and speak to my patients as people, not as numbers, or worse yet, as dollar signs

If I could be a painter... I'd paint my feelings out on canvas.

If I could be a gardener... I'd grow beautiful flowers and enough food to feed the less fortunate.

If I could be a missionary... I would spead the gospels to those who truly wish to hear them.

If I could be a chef... I'd never leave the house! I love to cook!

If I could be an architect... I'd build homes for people like on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

If I could be a linguist... I'd speak a dozen different languages fluently

If I could be a psychologist... I would want to figure out why people go back to that which they know isn't good for them, but do it out of familiarity, boredom, or not having anywhere else to go.

If I could be a librarian... I could bring the joy of reading to those who can't come to the library for whatever reason.

If I could be an athlete... I'd be a marathoner and run in the Boston Marathon.

If I could be a lawyer... I would change the reputation of lawyers from being corrupt, money hungry leeches to people who truly care about justice

If I could be an innkeeper... I'd keep a few rooms available for those who just need a break in life and a place to sleep when they're out on the street.

If I could be a professor... I'd teach history, and maybe write a few books on various historical subjects that no one else thought to write about.

If I could be a writer... I am a writer! Someone publish my manuscript, please!

If I could be a backup dancer... Um, why?

If I could be a llama-rider... You can ride those nasty things?

If I could be a bonnie pirate... I'd make you walk the plank!

If I could be a midget stripper... Huh?!

If I could be a proctologist... Uh, no thanks! I have no desire to stick my hand up anyone's ass!

If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... I'd be a combination of Tony Danza, Barbara Walters, and Jay Leno

If I could be an actor... I'd put J-Lo out of the acting biz for good, because I can act rings around her!

If I could be a judge... I'd mete out fairness and justice.

If I could be a Jedi... I'd use the Force for only good and not evil.

If I could be a mob boss... as an Italian American, I object to this one!

If I could be a personal trainer... I need one, I don't want to be one.

If I could be a professional race car driver... I'd be like Dale Earnhardt...The Intimidator!

If I could be a stand-up comedian... I'd tell jokes that everyone could relate to.

If I could be an artist... I'd paint or sculpt...maybe nature or a study of the human form.

Okay Hannie, Habitatgirl and're it!

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, April 26, 2005

More about me than you'd probably want to know

but here goes:

So have you ever...

(x ) snuck out of the house
(x) gotten lost in your city
(x) saw a shooting star
( ) been to any other countries besides the united states
(x) had a serious surgery --1992, on my left leg
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
(x) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger
(x) been in a fist fight - yeah, in the fifth grade
(x) been arrested- yes I have. and no, I'm not going to talk about it
( ) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
( ) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
( ) swore at your parents -
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino -
( ) been skydiving
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) skipped school - in high school, yeah.
(x) seen a therapist -
(x) done the splits - by accident, once.
( ) played spin the bottle
(x) gotten stitches - and staples...ewww!
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
( ) bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox -Twice! When I was 8 and again at 20
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped - oh, yeah. I went 800 miles for that one :P
( ) shoplifted -
(x) been fired - I was set up.
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - yep.
(x) gone on a blind date - and hated every minute of it!
( ) lied to a friend -
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated Mardi-Gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
(x) slept with a co-worker - yeah, with Saon every night for four months. Ahh, carnival life.
(x ) been married
(x ) gotten divorced
(x) had children -yep, 4 of them
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
(x) Driven over 400 miles in one day - took lots of road trips before the Beretta decided to be inoperable
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show -
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
( ) Eaten Sushi - eww, no!
(x) Been skiing/snowboarding - just once. It was okay.
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(x) gone to college
( ) graduated college
( ) fired a gun
( ) purposely hurt yourself
(x) taken painkillers- I have chronic pain...painkillers are a must

Stolen from JaG, who got it from Dawn, who saw it here.

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, April 25, 2005

Dents, guys and sports, Pinky's home...

The dent in the side of the van prevents the passenger side door from opening. This is not good news because I haven't told my mom about it yet. I can just see her climbing into and out of the van thru the sliding door on that side like Jeff's had to... and it's not a pleasant sight.

I wish the coward who hit me had just left a note.

The NFL draft was held this past weekend, and that is all the guys at school talked about today! What is so damn great about rehashing past sporting events and happenings? What's done is done, and even I know that's Monday morning quarterbacking. Who cares what overexposed college football player went to which team? I don't, but the majority of guys I know do. I just leave the room at that point.

On a good note, Pinky is home now after her weekend at the vet's office. She's not having the surgery at this point. She's on pain pills, and she still walks with great difficulty. She seems glad to be home, though.

I wonder what Saon's up to.

No, I don't. I just hope he's okay and he's happy.

And that's all from where I sit.


About as exciting as waiting for my clothes to dry

That's how my Sunday was. How was yours?

It's really strange here without Pinky. I never knew I'd miss that dumb dog so much. She's a good girl and I hope she'll be okay.

I can't get to my blog thru IE, and can't get Netscape to even materialize. If I want to read this entry when I'm done, I have to go into Firefox. I started having this trouble when I tried to download a form from the FCC's website. Could it be possible I got some kind of nasty bug from the US Government???

Somehow, I don't think that would surprise me much.

And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, April 23, 2005

Pinky's in the animal hospital

She was having a lot of trouble walking lately, but the other day, she was having an extremely difficult time getting up from a sitting or laying down position. When she did manage it, you could hear something cracking or popping. She wouldn't even eat.

This morning, Dean came over and he and Jeff took Pinky over to the vet. The vet's office called Mom and told her that Pinky tore the ligaments in both hind legs, and that she'd either need surgery, or take pain medication.

Pinky will be at the vet until at least Monday. I guess a decision about what to do for her will be made then.

That's all from where I sit.


No surprises here

Your Taste in Music:

80's Rock: Highest Influence
Classic Rock: Highest Influence
Country: Highest Influence
90's Alternative: High Influence
90's Pop: High Influence
90's Rock: High Influence
Adult Alternative: High Influence
Alternative Rock: High Influence
Hair Bands: High Influence
Progressive Rock: High Influence
80's Alternative: Medium Influence
80's Pop: Medium Influence
80's R&B: Medium Influence
R&B: Medium Influence
90's R&B: Low Influence
Punk: Low Influence

Another Blogthings thing.

That's all from where I sit.


Friday, April 22, 2005

There are just some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed

Today started out bad, and just got worse:

  • I had to take Jeff over to my sister's to watch Joe.
  • My air show sucked.
  • Someone in a truck or other tall vehicle hit the van while I was in school, and didn't bother leaving a note.
  • My mom's complaining about her money situation again.
  • Pinky needs to go to the vet bacuse she's having trouble walking.
  • I have to work tonight and I don't want to go because I don't have money to pay to park downtown.

What else can go wrong today?
Wait, don't answer that!

That's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, April 20, 2005

It's 4/20, and I don't know what that means to you...

but to me, it's just the day after my sister's birthday.

I went to school this morning, and got a lot done! One of my assignments was to do a multi voice commercial (non-dialogue) with another person. I asked Dave, the guy I helped with his commercial last week, to help me, and he was more than happy to.

We went into the production studio and Dave recorded his part first. He recorded it several times so that I could choose the best one. I asked him if he wanted to practice first and he said no. "Oh that good are you?"I teased. He replied, "Not to brag, but, yeah, I am." He then preceeded to screw it up a few times, but kept recording his part until we were both satisfied with how it sounded. He left and I recorded my part, then I started to put the two parts together. What I've done so far sounds pretty good, and it doesn't sound like the parts were recorded separately. I'll finish it tomorrow before the lecture.

My air show, which I did before the event above, sounded pretty good today. I think I was a little more relaxed.

I hadn't even gotten home, and Mom called me on my cell to ask if I'd buy her cigarettes.

Oh. Joy.

Back to my regular life...

And that's all from where I sit.


Some days doesn't even friggin pay to get up in the morning!

Okay, it did pay some, I'll admit. Yesterday was my sister's 40th birthday. She's not thrilled with being 40 so far. She wore black. Ha. Ha.

She had her usual appointment this morning (whatever it is. I honestly don't know). She called and asked Mom if she could bring Amalia over because she wasn't feeling well and didn't go to school. For a change, Amalia's 2 year old brother was feeling great and went off to his "school", so we didn't have to watch him as well.

Amalia seemed to feel okay most of the time she was with us, up until about five minutes until Tori came to pick her up. She then told me that she needed some Tylenol. So I gave her some Tylenol and she went to lay back down on the couch. She felt hot, so I hoped that the medicine would help.

Tori then arrived with Joey in tow. Joey had gotten a haircut (no more blonde curls! Boohoo!), and his nose wasn't running as it's wont to do.

I went to go cash my check (I got paid for the Mellencamp show I worked at three weeks ago), and on the way to the bank, I ran out of gas. (RANT ALERT) No one stopped to help me get my car out of traffic, no one stopped to help when I ended up pushing my own car, and I had to bully these two teenage boys into helping me get the car into the McDonald's parking lot, which is right across the street from both the bank and a gas station.

Then, AAA wouldn't help me because they somehow found out that I am not the person with the AAA membership (it's my mom), so I'd have to pay for any services they sent to me, so I told them to forget that! I had to buy a gas can at the Seven-Eleven because they don't have one for the public to use, then buy gas to fill it.

I get back to McDonald's where the van is at, put the gas in the tank (all two gallons of it), and found that the engine wouldn't turn over. Meanwhile, I'm running late for school.

I ended up calling Daniel to come give me a jump, and by 4pm (the time I should have been at school) I was on my way.

To say that I was frustrated at every turn would be an understatement! When I discovered that the car wouldn't start, I just sobbed, and this guy in a truck over on Danforth actually saw me doing this, but did he come over to see what was wrong? Hell, no!

I could have been dead or unconscious in that van while it was blocking traffic, and everyone would have still avoided me like the plague. Their mentality is just go around the stupid idiot in the stalled car. None of the people driving on that street at the same time would go out of their way to help me! Well screw the lot of them!

And yesterday was the day when all they talked about was the "Oklahoma Standard" (It was the 10th anniversary of the Murrah building bombing in Oklahoma City). Well, I sure as hell didn't see it! (END RANT)

I finally got to school an hour late, but no one said anything to me. I'll make up the hour when I go in the morning.

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Benedict XVI: A New Pope

On only the second day of the papal conclave, the cardinals have elected a new pope. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany was elected as the 265th pontiff and has taken the name Benedict XVI. He is the first German pope since the 11th century.

This took place shortly before 7pm Vatican time, so there are not a lot of details as of yet. Benedict has some big shoes to fill, but I think he's well aware of this. He had been working with John Paul II since 1981.

No doubt there will be more to come.

That's all from where I sit.


Monday, April 18, 2005

Jeff's got a car whether he wants it or not

Jeff got Daniel's old car today, and is now on Dean and Tori's car insurance. However, Jeff still needs a lot of practice to master a standard transmission. It's parked in the driveway on the right hand side, because the van's in the garage on the left hand side. My inoperable Beretta is in the garage on the right.

Jeff didn't want this car, but it's about time he learned to drive the stick shift Honda, and Dean told him that I shouldn't have to drag him everywhere he has to go. I have a feeling that once Jeff masters the stick shift, we won't see much of him.

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, April 17, 2005

"Baby" sitting

Jeff was drafted to chaperone a trip to the movies yesterday by Dean. He was taking Scott, Marc, and Amalia to see Robots down in Bricktown, and wanted Jeff to tag along (probably because Daniel wasn't available). They all seemingly had a great time, then came over here last night.

Amalia got this neat ring that lights up, and everyone took a ride on the water taxis on the Bricktown Canal. They were still wearing the paper bracelets (like the ones at the carnival on wristband day) that were their tickets to ride. Scott, being the goofball that he is, somehow managed to tear up his leg when he was trying to jump over concrete barriers, and tripped over one of them instead. A nice gash on his leg was the result.

Then someone mentioned that Scott was going to be on Edmond Memorial's track team in the fall. Scott's not even in high school yet, and he's got a place on the track team already??? Scott said he was, but I think I'll have to check into that later.

(Scott in high school??? A thought that thrills me and scares me all at the same time!)

Around 10pm or so, everyone left, and Mom discovered that Amalia left "Baby" behind. "Baby" is the stuffed bunny that she's had since before birth that acts as her security blanket (Tori's bought several "Babys" and hides them, so that Amalia will always have a clean one available. I don't think that particular stuffed bunny is made anymore). So now, "Baby" is sitting on the phonograph waiting for someone to pick her up and take her home.

I think Dean and the boys are supposed to be here later to help Jeff with the yard, so I guess "Baby" will go home then.

For now, I guess we're "Baby" sitting.

And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, April 16, 2005

I don't know which is worse...

A man who barely knows I exist, or a man who knows I exist and can't decide if he wants to play the field or be in a relationship (with me or anyone else).

There is a third possibility: a man who not only knows I exist, but I suspect is attracted to me, and lets me get away with things because he's attracted to me. When I hear phrases like, "I do that for special people like you..." I know there's something going on in their head.

And maybe I'm just blowing it all out of proportion. That sounds more like me. Letting my imagination run away with me again...


And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, April 15, 2005

Hmmm...just as I thought

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

20% Yankee

15% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

Not even I believe this!

I've got a crush on someone. Can you believe that, because I can't!

Now, c'mon, I'm 41 years old for cryin out loud! Aren't I just a little too old for this kind of nonsense? The guy knows I exist, but that's about it. He's too busy looking at the fantasy girls in magazines like FHM. How in the hell am I supposed to compete with that????

He's probably got better looking women falling all over themselves to date him, why should he give me a second look?

I mean, look at me...I'm over 40 and overweight. He's a younger and buffer guy. How am I supposed to compete with girls half my age for guys like him? He's in his early to mid 30's, I'm guessing. I barely know the guy!

This is ridiculous. It's insane! Yet I can't get this man's voice out of my head.


I have to get some sleep. I'll deal with this tomorrow (um, later today now).

That's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

It's a sign of the apocalypse!

Britney Spears is preggers. Lord help us all.

Now, how dumb is this girl? She's married to a guy with two kids by a woman he left to be with her (Britney). Whatever in God's name makes her think he'll stick around long enough to help raise this kid? I'm still sticking by my story that the marriage won't last until she gives birth. He'll be so outta there-- he is, apparently, allergic to responsibility, but not to Britney's bank account.

(Hmmm, sounds like someone I know).

No more belly button rings for Britney for a while. And, girlfriend, for your baby's sake, QUIT SMOKING!!!

Okay, enough about Ms. Spears. It's time for me to go back to the real world.

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

PMS? What PMS?

I'm just in a lot of painful discomfort right now, and tylenol didn't help.

When I got to school today, I no sooner walked in the door when one of my male classmates saw me and said, "Just the woman I'm looking for!"

Turns out that he wanted me to record a "tag" for a commercial he'd written. He handed me the copy and had me practice it for a few minutes, then we went into a studio to record it into CoolEdit.

The cure for PMS: have a really good looking guy ask you to help him out! Yum!

The rumor going around school is that Larry, one of our instructors, lost his cool today during one of his classes. All I know is that Larry wasn't there when I got to school at about 3:30pm.

There are some people at school that act worse than Scott on a bad day... all guys as you might imagine. Several of them are in my Tuesday night class. They just act like idiots, and it gets old after a while. I went to school to learn broadcasting, not sit in a class of guys who act worse than my eighth grader. If I wanted to hear jokes that are popular with eighth grade boys, I'd ask my eighth grade son. Geez, some people are so...juvenile!

And that's all from where I sit.


You almost hit me and you still flash that dopey smile?

Some dumb bottle blonde damn near hit me while I was getting gas this morning. Her response to my dirty look was to smile and wave and go on her merry way.

She'd have been smiling out the other end if she had hit me.

Can you tell I'm PMS-ing today? I'll try not to be too impossible, okay?

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, April 11, 2005

"You need anything?"

This is the question I keep being asked by one of the instructors at school. I know that he just want to make sure I understand the material and that I'm not having trouble completing assignments, he asks this question about three times a day. He asks everyone, also, so I'm not being singled out. But today, when I told him that I was okay and that I didn't need anything right then, he seemed like I'd hurt his feelings.

I like it that they want you to succeed, but when I need help, I'll ask. And I do ask when I need help. Like today when the software we use to produce commercials was acting up. However, the instructor who asks me if I need anything was busy, so I asked someone else.

I really like the instructors and the students I attend classes with. I've never been so inspired to attend classes and learn new things before! This is all new to me, because school was a chore prior to this. I actually want to study, and actually want to learn all I can about broadcasting.

When I need help, Larry, I'll ask. Honest!

That's all from where I sit.


Sunday, April 10, 2005

I'm annoyed

I'm really, really annoyed.

Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother with explaining anything to my mom. Whatever it is, it will probably piss her off.

I told her up front that the security job I got is not a regularly scheduled thing, and that I probably wouldn't get paid a whole lot. She swears now that I never told her this, and was a little put off by the fact that the check I got this week was only for $65.

She also thinks I mutter stuff about her under my breath, when I don't. Then she tells me she has "excellent hearing", so she demands I tell her what I just said. When I say I haven't said anything, she turns into a drama queen! She goes on about how no one apreciates her and takes her for granted, blah, blah, blah. I've noticed that I've been tuning her rantings out, just like I did when I was a kid. She makes it sound like I don't contribute anything to the household. I'm the one who does all her shopping and banking and errand running because she doesn't want to leave the house because she gets tired easily.

She's not been feeling well for the last month or so, and it seems to get worse everyday. She has an appointment to see her doctor next Thursday. Hopefully, the doctor will figure out what been ailing her, because, frankly, she's becoming next to impossible to live with.

I don't know what to do. I keep it all inside me because to complain is to invite criticism, and I'm just trying to get by until November, when I graduate from broadcasting school.

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, April 08, 2005

..."and them"

Yes, I really said that during my practice air show today. I'm supposed to get rid of the "Southernisms" in my speech, not revert back to them. And I'm not even from the South!

I know where that came from, though. I never realized that getting on with my life after Saon was going to affect my vocabulary, too. "And them" is something that Saon would say about someone and a group of people said person is/was with.

I got another email from him tonight. I get the feeling there's something he's not saying about what's going on with him and his ex wife. I'm not going to speculate here, because I've done so in the past, and I'm not really in the mood to repeat myself. Just suffice it say that if they remarry, I won't be surprised. Much.

I will not compete with Michele for Saon's affections. I will not toot my own horn and say I am better for him than she is. He made his choice, and obviously, I wasn't the "chosen" one.

I told JC in an email recently that I thought I might try dating again. Honestly, the whole idea of dating again scares the crap out of me.

I've got "Heart of the Matter" by Don Henley running thru my head right now.

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, April 07, 2005

People driving and talking on cell phones really frost my ass

I was driving to school this afternoon and I got stuck behind this woman who was doing, get this, 50 on the interstate! She's just yapping away and she's going to make me late for class because the people at Sonic were too frigging slow and I got a late start.

So here I am, in the fast lane on I-235 about to merge onto I-40 and this woman keeps on talking on her phone. Finally, just as I was about to get on the offramp to I-40, she changes lanes and continues on I-235 while I get my ass onto I-40.

Once I get off I-40 onto Sunnylane, someone in a big white Lincoln gets into my lane with all the speed of a turtle. I have to break hard to avoid hitting her. I change lanes and the elderly driver is, you guessed it, talking on a cell phone!

Somehow, I still manage to get to school with 2 minutes to spare.

Isn't talking on the phone and driving illegal? If not, it sure as hell should be! I don't talk to anyone on my cell while I'm driving. It's not safe, IMHO. I have Saon to thank for that bit of wisdom.

But what do I know? Some people think that nothing bad will happen to them. I used to think that too, then I got smart and realized that I am responsible for me and my actions. It just takes one accident to change a life forever. Then again, my last big accident was in 1988 when cell phones were as big as a shoebox and expensive as hell, so you know I didn't have one. And it was the other guy's fault anyway.

I gotta get to bed. I'm not even going to try and stay up for the Pope's funeral. It comes on at 3am for cryin out loud! Besides, it'll be on TV all day long tomorrow anyways.

That's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Holy run on sentence, Batman...

I got another email from Saon.

And that's exactly what his message was, a very long run on sentence. He did get his message across, so I guess I can forgive the lack of punctuation.

I realize that I am kinda anal about things like that. I've been like this all my life. Hell, I was even correcting Bill O'Reilly today (OK I was yelling at the radio, so I wasn't literally correcting him). The guy has two degrees for crying out loud! He was a teacher! Of all people, he should know about correct grammar!

I still remember Saon asking me to "speak English" when I threw a three-buck word at him one day while I was visiting him in Gretna in 2003. I can't help it, it's just my nature to speak the way I do and not dumb myself down for anyone.

I'm a writer, words are my business. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm in school to be a broadcaster, and words are my business in that field as well.

However, I know that not everyone has had the same educational advantages I've had. So I can overlook it when Saon dashes off an email where there is no punctuation. He gets his message across just fine without it. Just like Instant Messaging. I just have to look at it that way.

After all, this is the internet. The usual rules don't always apply.

That's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, April 05, 2005

It's none of your damn business...

how much Daniel paid for his car!

The Busybodies were here again this morning, and the mother was going on about Daniel's new car, how he can't afford it (without knowing how much he paid for it), that the insurance will be expensive (Duh. He's a male under 25. And he knew that going in), and on and on and on.

That shit may work on her kin, but leave mine the hell alone. Daniel bought a car, so what? He did the research, he found out all the particulars, saved his money, and bought the car he wanted. Sounds like a jealousy issue on your part there, bitch. I've never owned a new car either, so get over yourself. If Daniel made a mistake, he'll find out soon enough. It's HIS life...butt the hell out.

/end rant

I swear, some people's nosiness knows no bounds. I'd never ask questions like that, or speculate on whether someone can afford something. That's not my business, and it shouldn't be hers, either. She should keep watch over her own house, and just clean the others.

And that's all from where I sit.


Yee. Haw.

It's week 5 at school (of 36) and this week's assignment is to prepare 2 minutes of country music news and deliver said news during a 2 hour country music format show.

I have eight (count 'em!) country music CDs. How am I going to get a 2 hour show out of that??

Lucky for me, the music library at school has lots of country CDs. I might be able to pull this off after all.

However, I have to come up with another on air name, because the one I usually use would be totally out of place in a country format.

Next I'll be doing hip hop or something equally bizarre. But it's all in the spirit of learning this business.

I've decided to do this country show Wednesday, just so I can get it out of the way.


And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, April 04, 2005

I need to get out of here

Even if it's for a few hours a day. My mother's defeatist, doesn't-give-a-shit attitude is really getting on my last nerve.

She got all over Jeff and me Saturday when we mentioned that we had eaten at the mall. She was bent out of shape that we didn't bring her anything. "Oh, so I don't eat, right?" she sneered at us in that tone of voice that irritates the crap out of me. Like we were supposed to automatically know to bring her something from the Sonic in the mall?

Then, Sunday afternoon when Jeff wanted to go to a bookstore to get a couple of mangas he was planning to get with some of his birthday money, Mom said to me, "If you take Jeff anywhere, he better buy gas because, if you run out, you're up shit creek."

She complains about how broke she is, but then wants me to buy her cigarettes every day (at $4.00 + a pack), and get her stuff from outside (i.e. fast food and such), or, get her a "drinky" (soft drink).

She takes meds for depression, but they don't seem to help her. She complains constantly about "not feeling well", but doesn't go see the doctor. She now thinks she has an ulcer that makes her sick to her stomach when she eats something.

She's still not all that thrilled that I decided to go to school. What did she think I was going to do sitting around the house listening to her bitch and complain about everything under the sun, the moon and the stars? She tells commercials on TV to shut up, and gets irritated at the littlest things. She thinks Jeff and I do things just to piss her off, and that attitude is pissing me off!

Of course, I can't complain to anyone. My sister would probably think I'm making it all up if I mentioned it to her, so I keep my mouth shut.

I love my mother and want her to be happy, but she's working so hard at being unhappy that I don't know what to do. Mom jokes that she needs a "keeper". She's already got a keeper, and that's me. It's a job I didn't ask for and I do not want any longer than I have to. If I can make it to the end of the year, and graduation from broadcasting school, I'll get a job out of state and get the hell outta here. I just fear I'll be a basket case by then.

That's all from where I sit.


Sunday, April 03, 2005

Daniel's car looks even better in the daytime!

Its sleek black paint glistened in the April sun, and it has more bells and whistles than one would expect in a "base model" car. The cool thing about the Cobalt is that it has two batteries-- one in the engine compartment, obviously, and one in the back that's accessble (I'd imagine) through the trunk.

Daniel's a big hit at his job with this cool new car, as you'd imagine. His buddies were rather impressed, too. How many people that age go out and buy a new car?

It's looking more and more likely that Jeff will inherit the '89 Honda that Daniel was driving. Jeff doesn't want it, but will probably take it just to have a car. Jeff is not really good driving a stick, so once the Honda gets fixed, he'll have to practise a few times before he feels confident driving it out on the road.

Even I can drive a stick if I got a little practise in, thought it's been some 17 years since I last drove one.


I took Jeff to the mall yesterday, and he managed to NOT spend all the money he got for his birthday. He did buy a Brooklyn Dodgers replica ball cap, a manga book to complete a series, and an anime DVD. He also bought lunch for the two of us. He has more than half his money still left to go.

It was when we returned from the mall that we learned of the Pope's death.


I wish Blogger had an automatic spellcheck, or something like Word that highlights your misspellings and grammatical errors. Or maybe I should just look at the keys when I type.


And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, April 02, 2005

At 1:37pm CST this afternoon

Pope John Paul II passed away.

May he rest in peace in the house of his Father.

Burning a hole in his pocket

Jeff got money for his birthday, and he can't wait to spend it!

So, later today, it's off to the mall. Yay.

Daniel got his real car last night. It's a black '05 Cobalt with standard transmission and a spoiler. It's really a nice looking car! Daniel called this girl that he knows, and her reaction was, "Oh, shit, Dan, you got your new car?" To which Number 1 son replied, "All your questions will be wordlessly answered when I pull up."

If I can get a pic of it, I'll post it.

Mom just asked if I was still going to take Jeff to the mall, and I told her I was, so she's going to have me look for a book she wants to give Dean for his birthday.

And that's all from where I sit.


As of this writing...

Pope John Paul II is slipping ever closer to eternal life.

It got me to thinking about the last time in my lifetime a Pope passed away. It was 1978, and I was a 14 year old high school freshman. Actually, two Popes passed away that year.

Pope Paul VI had been Pope for many years when I was born. He died in the fall of '78 when I was just starting high school. The new Pope was elected, and he called himself John Paul after his immediate predecessor, Paul, and Paul's predecessor Pope John XXIII.

About a month later, he, too had died. The selection process began once again and shortly, there was another new Pope. This new Pope called himself John Paul II in honor of the man who preceded him.

Now, 27 years later, John Paul II is dying. It's so sad.

I don't always, as a Catholic, agree with what the Vatican says. I like to think that God gave me a brain with which to make my own decisions about my life. I didn't always agree with what Pope John Paul II said, either. And again, God gave me this brain in which to decide how I should live my life. If that makes me a bad Catholic, so be it. I'll never be a saint, and that's something I accepted about myself years ago. I go through with my life, and try to do the best I can. Certainly God can see that I try to be the best person I can be, even if I have used birth control, think that women have the ultimate say in what happens to their bodies (though I would not choose that for myself), that love is still love, whether it be Adam and Eve, or Adam and Steve, and that if one does not wish to be kept alive by artificial means, then that is their right.

I'm praying for John Paul II, but it's looking more and more like he's at the end of his life on this Earth, and preparing for eternal life.

That's all from where I sit.