Sunday, July 31, 2005

And other stuff...

We went out for Mom's birthday. Tori called up this morning and kept asking Mom where she wanted to go for lunch, and Mom really didn't know where she wanted to go.

When Tori, Dean and everyone came over, Mom had decided that she wanted to go to Texas Roadhouse over on Memorial and Penn. Tori also gave Mom a "grandma bracelet", which had the birthstones of all her children and grandchildren.

If I had one of those, it would be rather dull. All of the boys, save for Scott, were born in months with blue birthstones (Dan and Marc, blue zircon for December; Jeff, aquamarine for March; Scott's is emerald for May).

So we all go over to Texas Roadhouse, where we had to wait for about 40 minutes for them to have a table big enough to seat all of us. Joe decided that he didn't want to sit still, and ran everywhere he could. We were all, at one time or another, chasing this kid down!

Finally, we were seated, and we had a great meal. I ended up taking half my dinner home.

And, I fell asleep halfway thru Law and Order: Criminal Intent, and woke up halfway thru Crossing Jordan.

I think Mom had a nice birthday.

I think it's time for me to get to bed.

That's all from where I sit.


Miscellaneous drivel

The latest edition of my horrorscope--

Stephanie's Daily Aquarius Forecast

Quickie: So there's a hot little number out there who wants yours (Stef --oh yeah? Who?). Give them those digits! (only if they ask me)

Overview: Taking charge of recreation isn't something most people enjoy. You, however, are expert at not just running the show, but making it more fun for everyone. So when the job is offered, don't even think of refusing.

Daily extended (by
The universe is grinning at you so fondly now that it's going to be very hard for you to do anything wrong -- anything at all. Think of it as the ultimate backstage pass. You've got the chance to do anything you want, as long as the end result is you enjoying yourself. There does seem to be one catch: You'll need to help run the show and help organize things. Don't worry, though. Being in charge will be even more fun.


Interesting. Not that I believe that stuff. It just happens to be a coincidence.


Let's see, what have I done this weekend so far? Well, I

  • got my DRS money. It'll last probably until the end of the week, if that.
  • got the car washed (finally!)
  • watched the Angels blow a four run lead to the Yankees
  • put more time on my phone
  • went out three times to buy Mom cigs
  • didn't take a nap

Boy, the days are just packed! And that was just Saturday! It's after midnight now, so it's Mom's birthday. Don't know if anyone's planning anything for her. Scott and Marc return from camp tomorrow. Maybe there'll be a dinner somewhere. Who knows. Not me, because no one tells me anything.

And, it's TOO DAMN HOT!!!

Is it Monday yet?

And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, July 30, 2005

This is pretty cool

Got this from Hannie's blog. It's pretty freaking cool if I do say so myself.

Click here.

Amalia lost both her front top teeth this week. It's cute when she smiles. She and her parents and little brother came over after her t-ball game. Scott and Marc were at camp. Again! I swear those boys go to camp more than any kids I know!

Joe was getting into everything, as he usually does. He still doesn't talk much. At least the grunting and pointing phase of his non-verbal communication is done with. Now if the kid would just TALK!!

I'm going to bed, I think.

That's all from where I sit.


Thursday, July 28, 2005

No one asked me...

but, personally, I think the Busybodies should bring their own freakin' cleaning supplies!

So guess who had to go out this morning and get said cleaning products? They don't even do that good a job with the stuff they actually bring with them. I found dried Soft Scrub on the side of the bathtub left from the last time they were here.

I suppose it could always be worse, like when Mama Busybody broke everything in sight and didn't offer to pay for it.

Now Mom just puts the delicate stuff away, so the house is not only Joey-proof, but klutz-proof, too!

And that's all from where I sit.


I didn't know this...

Jeff was goofing around with the Word program on his laptop, and discovered that largest font Word will allow is a whopping 1638 points! The letters are so huge that it doesn't all fit on one standard sheet of paper!

Why would there be such an option if you can't really use a 1638 point font?

Go fig...

I think I will hit the sack early tonight. It's midnight now. How early is that? Considering that my usual bedtime is around 2 or 3am, this will be early!

Night all!

And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

This post was completed earlier for placement in this space

Ha ha ha!

I took Jeff over to my sister's and we watched the Discovery liftoff (my niece's comment: "so?"). Then I got online and wrote news stories for my show tomorrow. I talked to a few people on Yahoo! Mess-up-enger. I went to school around 3pm, and worked my tail off until Vocal Coaching started.

Vocal Coaching was kinda boring this week. Ben went alphabetically, and I'm kinda down there in the alphabetic scheme of things, so it was a long wait before I could read my commercial. But apparently, I got the idea behind a "softsell" commercial.

Even though I did it for a company located in Massachusetts. Next week, we have to write up a commercial for a convenience store. Shall I complete the Massachusetts Trifecta, and do it for White Hen Pantry? Lordy, I haven't been in a White Hen Pantry in ages! They have great big muffins and coffee that rivals Dunkins. Oh, and Keno.

I wouldn't even play Keno, I'd just watch the numbers come up and see if they matched the ones in my head. I knew lots of people who won some serious money playing Keno... all the bars at Salisbury Beach had those dumb TVs that played nothing but Keno numbers.

I've got Massachusetts on the brain this week! You'd think I'd want to go back. I do, when the time is right. Gotta finish school first. Then we'll see.

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

What's wrong with Blogger this time?

Blogger won't let me log in because I get a screen that says my cookies are disabled. They're not, because I can get everywhere else on the flippin' internet. When I try (keyword: try) to write to Blogger about said issue, it won't accept it.

(I just thought of this place in Norfolk, VA near Military Circle Mall called Flipper McCoys. It's an aracde & miniture golf place. Don't ask me why I thought of this place I haven't thought about in 6 years...)

Anyone else had this problem, or is it just me, as usual?

I better get busy typing up last week's Lecture notes for a classmate who had to leave early. I don't think we're having the test this week though because we're having group shows, but I'll type them up anyway and hope MSWord cooperates with me...

Man, I need a new computer!

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, July 25, 2005

The latest installment of Stef's Horrorscope

Stephanie's Daily Aquarius Forecast

Quickie: It's all about you. That's a good thing -- it's time 'you' got personal attention!

Overview: Regardless of the cost, if it reminds you of a time when you were happy, you'll automatically add it to your shopping cart. That goes for books or music online, or fragrances you sample on your way through the mall.

Daily extended (by
You're a very powerful sign, for many reasons. First off, your mind is such a vast playground that you can conjure up any image in a split second -- and it will only take you a few more split seconds to figure out how to arrange reality to make way for that fantasy. That's the situation now. Don't be afraid to indulge in a few books, CDs or other objects that will help the project along. -


That's just the problem: I'm afraid to indulge in my fantasies because they usually get me in trouble. And, my fantasies are usually too expensive, even if things were going my way, to indulge in anyway. A B&B weekend in bed with a good man, preferably in Maine or Vermont (since i've never been to Vermont), is a nice thought, but that's where it stops.


The other stuff, I'll take under advisement.

And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, July 23, 2005

Self censorship, triple digits, and three hour naps

Someone I know offline asked me today if, knowing that they read my blog, I censored myself. I said no, that since I don't have any idea when this particular person is online reading MVL, I didn't feel the need to censor myself. They said that they were glad because they wanted me to be as open as I always have been.

There are some things I will not discuss on my blog. A lot more happens to me than what I choose to reveal on MVL. There are some parts of my life that are not up for discussion. Period. I think I've been quite open with my life, but some things I don't even talk to people about in private, much less where the whole world can read them!

So basically, what you see is what you get. And yes, that picture on the sidebar is really me. I probably should change it at some point to one more recent. Or use one of my homemade avatars...


It hit 101 here today! The humidity was brutal! When I left school this afternoon, my steering wheel was so hot that I could barely touch it. I had to open the windows to let all the hot air out. And the weekend will be just as bad. I will be spending a lot of time indoors in the nice air conditioning. I'm ready for winter now.


And because of the heat, and the exhaustion I feel on a daily basis, I took one of my infamous three hour naps when I got home from school. For some reason, I felt worse when I awoke than I did when I fell asleep.

I still have a headache. Still waiting for the Tylenol to kick in.

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, July 22, 2005

I don't know, but I think I'm gonna, but I'll try not to...

but yeah, I'm gonna...

crawl under the covers and cry my eyes out and wonder why I'm such an idiot.

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, July 21, 2005

Borrowed from Andrea on

Time started: 11:40pm

*Name: Stephanie
*Single or Taken: Single
*Sex: Female
*Birthday: February 9th
*Sign: Aquarius
*Siblings: older half sister and brother, younger sister
*Hair color: dark auburn
*Eye color: dark brown
*Shoe size: 9
*Height: 5'6"
*What are you wearing right now: white tee shirt and blue jeans
*Righty or lefty: Right

*Who are your closest friends?: Hannie and Donna
*Do you have a bf or gf: Nope
*Best place to go for a date: dinner, movie, concert
*Where is your fav place to shop: Does Wal Mart count?
*Do you have any tattoos or piercings?: ears pierced twice, no tats

*Color: blue
*Number(s): 9
*Food: steak or tacos
*Boys name: other than the ones I have? Matthew
*Girls name: Michaela
*Subject in school: English Comp and History
*Animal: cats, all kinds
*Drink: Corona, Pepsi
*Celebrity(ies): Halle Berry and Nicolas Cage
*Sport: baseball (go BoSox!) and football (go Pats!)
*Veggie: carrots, peas, spinach
*Fruit: Apples
*Fast food place: Quizno's
*Place to visit: Boston
*Month: February
*Juice: Orange
*Finger: any finger that doesn't hurt
*Ice Cream: Breyers/Edy's
*Breakfast: bacon and eggs
*Perfume/Cologne: Shalimar and Chloe
*Favorite cartoon character: Pikachu

Have u ever?
*Given anyone a bath: just my kids
*Bungee jumped: not just no but hell no
*Made yourself throw-up: no
*Gone skinny dipping: nope
*Been in the opposite sex's bathroom: Yes
*Eaten a dog biscuit: No
*Put your tongue on a frozen pole: no
*Loved someone that made you cry: Yes
*Played truth or dare: Yes
*Been in a police car: Yes, unfortunately
*Been on a plane: Yes
*Been in a sauna: Yes
*Been in a hot tub: Yes
*Swam in the ocean: Lots of times
*Fallen asleep in school: Yep. Was on too much medication and it made me sleepy
*Ever had a sex dream? Yes. More often than one would think
*Broken someone's heart: Not on purpose
*Cried when someone died: Of course
*Flashed someone: Nope
*Lied: Yes
*Laughed so hard you fell off your chair: Oh, yeah
*Saved e-mails: Yes
*Wished you were someone else: No
*Wished you were a member of the opposite sex: Nope
*Hooked up with a member of the same sex: no
*Made out with JUST a friend?: Yes
*Been rejected?: Yes
*Been in love?: Yes
*Used someone: No
*Been cheated on? Yes
*Done something you regret? I have a few, but I don't let them bother me
First Thing That Comes to Mind

*Red: hot
*Blue: proud
*Happy: being in love
*Cow: moo?
*Greenland: ice


*Your good luck charm: don't need one. I make my own luck
*Stupidest thing you have ever done: there are so many…
*Your most prized possession: my children
*Last thing you ate: taco
*Fave song: anything by Collective Soul
*Best Thing that has happened to you this week: found out a commercial I did for a friend at school is on his Air Check CD

Have You Had...?

*Chicken pox: Yes, twice
*Sore Throat: Yes
*Cold: Yes
*Bloody nose: Yes

Do u?

*Believe in love at first sight: Yes
*Enjoy parks: Yes
*Like picnics: Yes
*Like school: Yes

Who Last...?
*Called you: my ex b/f (I wasn't home)
*Made you laugh: my son, Jeff
*Made you smile: Larry
*You hugged? My niece the last time I saw her (about a week ago)
*Texted you: Jon
*You Hooked up with? No one, yet.
*Is the last person you yelled at: my son, Daniel

Do You/Are You...

*Do you like yourself: pretty much
*Do you like your eyebrows?: Yes
*Do you get along with your family: pretty much
*Do you do drugs?: not recently
*Do you color your hair: always
*Do you like peircings below the waist?: No
*Habla español?: Nope
*Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Nope again
*Stolen anything ever?: probably (I plead the 5th)
*Obsessive: only about spelling and punctuation
*Anorexic: yeah, right!
*Depressed?: I have been
*Suicidal?: Life's been pretty sweet so far

Final Questions
In the opposite sex...

*Cute and mysterious or wild and sexy: all of them
*Dressy or casual: a little of both
*Dark or blonde hair: Dark, maybe with a touch of grey
*Long or short hair: short
*Curly or straight hair: no preference
*Dark or light eyes: dark, but it depends on the guy involved
*Long or short nails: Short
*Hat or no hat: I like hats..hats are cool
*Good or bad: Good
*Hair up or down: down
*Jewelry or none: a little bit
*Tall or short: Taller than I am
*Pants or dress: depends on my mood
*Tan or fair: doesnt matter
*Freckles or none: either or...
*What do you notice first about a girl/boy: eyes, then smile
*Shy or outgoing: Mmm..both
*Dimples: very nice
*What do you like the most in a girl/boy: honesty and a good sense of humor

Finally the last question...............
*what time is it now: 12:04am

And that's all from where I sit.


Wednesday, July 20, 2005

"Who pissed in your cornflakes?"

I said that to Mom the other night while describing the sour demeanor of a woman who works at Braum's, and Mom absolutely cracked up!

I think I first heard that phrase while I was working for the carnival three summers ago. <--Man, it doesn't seem like it was that long ago, but it was. A whole lifetime ago (yeah, Joe's maybe, seeing's he's only 2 1/2).

Best bumper sticker I saw today: All the men I love are either married, gay, or dead.

Weirdest thing that happened to me today: I had to evict a cricket from the studio where I was doing my show today. I took it outside to hop away freely. With my luck, someone stepped on it as soon as I went back inside.

Rachael (the admissions director at school) wanted me to flush it down the toilet. Apparently one made its way into her office as well.

A lot of pigeons and other birds hang out near the school, so the cricket probably became some birds lunch. Ain't nature grand?

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

This hot weather is gonna kill me...

It was 96 out there today!

It's the humidity that does me in. I go outside and come back in feeling like a limp dishrag. I don't know how those who work outside everyday can stand it! Does anyone ever get used to it?

Thank God for A/C! I know what living without A/C is like. I lived in an apartment and drove a car without it for years, at the same time! When I lived in Lawrence, Mass., I practically lived in places like the local mall and WalMart in the summer time!

But, I liked my little apartment, my neighbors, and the man I rented from, so it was all good. Ditto for my currently non-operational Chevy Beretta. I swear I will get her fixed one day when I have money! I like driving the Beretta more than I like driving the van. For one thing, it's cheaper to fill up BabyDoll than it is the van, and BabyDoll gets slightly better gas mileage.


97 tomorrow. 98 Thursday. 99 Friday. Help?!?!?

And that's all from where I sit.


Funny what you find when looking for something else

About a year or so ago, Chevrolet had an advertisment for its Tahoe truck with this awesome poem read by actor James Garner (who's from Oklahoma, BTW). It was written by Patrick O'Leary, who I understand works for General Motors. I wonder if he's published any other works. Speaking as a fellow poet, I feel that he captures, in just a few lines, a feeling of tranquility, of peace, of solitude for the sake of solitude.

Well Done!

Nobody Knows It But Me

There's a place that I travel
When I want to roam,
And nobody knows it but me

The roads don't go there
And the signs stay home
And nobody knows it but me

It's far far away
And way way afar
It's over the moon and the sea

And wherever you're going
That's wherever you are
And nobody knows it but me

--Patrick O'Leary
(author at GM's advertising agency)

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, July 18, 2005

It doesn't seem possible

That today would have been my father's 90th birthday!

Happy Birthday, Dad. I miss you.

Love, the one you always worried about.

And that's all from where I sit.



This is the first Monday in a long time where I feel like I've been dragged behind a truck all weekend.

It's the weather here: in the 90's and humid as I don't know what. Forecast for the rest of the week-- more of the same.

Oh. Joy.

I don't know how people who do the majority of their work outdoors can take it. Me, I want A/C on days like this, even if it is up too high in the classroom at school!

Then again, could you see me working on a contruction or road crew on a 90 degree plus day? I did plenty of that when I worked with the carnival. It gets damn hot in Maine in the summertime (and really cold at night!).

I better go dry my hair so I can head off to school. I'm more than half way through now. And, according to the formerly gap-toothed Director of Training, I am doing quite well.

Go me!

And that's all from where I sit.


Saturday, July 16, 2005

I don't like spiders and snakes...

I remember this song from when I was a kid. According to the website I got this from, it was recorded in 1974, so I was 10 years old when it came out. I had quoted part of the chorus in a conversation with a couple of people yesterday. So, of course, I had to look up the lyrics!

"Spiders And Snakes"

(As recorded by Jim Stafford)

I remember when Mary Lou said she wanted to walk me home from school
Well I said yes I do
She said I don't have to go right home
And I would kinda like to be alone some if you would
I said me too
And so we took a stroll and wound up down by the swimming hole
And she said do what you want to do
Got silly and found a frog in the water by the hollow log
And I shook it at her and I said this frog's for you, she said

I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
Like I wanna be loved by you
I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
Like I wanna be loved by you

Well I took out that girl from time to time, I called her up when I got a dime
I said hello baby, she said ain't you cool
Said do you remember when, and would you like to get together again
She said I'll see you after school
I was so shy and so for awhile most of my love was touch and smile
So she said come on over here, I was nervous I guess
Still looking for something to slip down her dress
And she said let's make it perfectly clear

I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
Like I wanna be loved by you
I don't like spiders and snakes
And that ain't what it takes to love me
Like I wanna be loved by you

(c) Copyright 1973 and 1974 by Kaiser Music Co., Inc. Gimp Music and Boo Music.

Now, I have to get the actual recording. I'm all of a sudden feeling nostalgic.

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, July 15, 2005

This post has no title, just words and a tune

I need to seriously relax.

Not just take one of my infamous three hour naps, but really and truly relax. Unfortunately, Mom's house is not condusive to that sort of thing. The stress level here is always elevated for one reason or another.

If I had the money, I'd spend a nice long weekend in a hotel out of town. Or, as far out of Edmond I can get and not leave Oklahoma anyway.

I'd really like a massage. Or sit in a whirlpool bath. Something where I don't have to think about stuff til Monday.

I'ts not happening anytime soon, so I might as well forget about it.

But a girl can dream, right?

And that's all from where I sit.


Thursday, July 14, 2005

Post 1K?

I shouldn't be surprised at anything regarding memes on the net anymore, and this didn't. I saw this on Duff's blog, and thought I'd check it out.

I couldn't just be one of these, I had to be both. No surprise here. I just happen to like baseball games and wearing comfy jeans and a well worn tshirt.

And that's all from where I sit.


Stuck between the past and the future...

Someone told me today that they like me just the way I am. I was telling this person how others try to change me into what they think I should be, when it's a whole lot easier for me to just be me. "Then, be you," they said.

That's what I've been trying to be my whole life! Me. But, no, there's always someone who thinks I should be what they want me to be, and not be who I am. They've had plenty of time to get to know me, they should know by now I'm not going to change.

Jon tried to change me. He wanted me to wear my hair real long, wear dresses and skirts all the time, and support his lazy ass when he doesn't feel like looking for work.

Saon tried to change me, too. He wanted me to come down to his level. There's just no way I'm ever going to dumb myself down for anyone, no matter how much I love them. It's not worth the aggrivation.

My family has been trying to change me my whole life. Mom told me this story about how she thought Tori was being protective of me when we were kids (remember Tori is younger than I am). Specifically about this time a man asked me out...I was eleven years old at the time, but didn't look it. Tori goes running to our parents because I was talking to the guy (he might have been 18 or 19, I don't remember). I honestly don't remember what happened next, but it may have involved my father telling the guy where to get off and to leave his 11 year old daughter alone.

Tori wasn't being "protective" of me...she was a big tattletale! It was like I had no sense to know that the guy was waaay too old for me anyway. Funny, now that I think of it, that guy is in his late 40's by now. Yes, I'd date a man that age if he asked. I even know a couple guys in that age range, and I'd definitely date one of them, if he asked.


Then there's this: I finally got to talk to Saon tonight. He called to thank me for the email birthday card I sent. He told me it was the only thing he got for his birthday. And, then he commenced to complain about Michele, how she's not working (again), and that her sister and the sister's boyfriend are staying at the house, and Saon trying to cover all the bills because he's the only one with a job.

Gee, this theme is familiar... I ain't no hollaback girl.

I do still care for Saon, but I can't be sitting here worried about his problems (because he doesn't act on any good advice he gets anyway). I have a life of my own to live, thankyouverymuch.

He did say that he's glad I'm doing well in school and asked if I would be looking for any radio jobs in Louisiana. I told him it's still a bit early yet to be deciding on that.

I want to see how certain other things here in Oklahoma turn out first. School, getting a job, finding a place to live other than Mom's house...stuff like that.

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Proud to be an American...

There's a remarkable event going to be taking place in Del City this weekend. A travelling replica of the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial will be at the Sunnylane Cemetary (SE 29th and Sunnylane) this weekend (the 15th-17th). This evening, there was a parade down SE 29th right in front of the school.

Larry had told me about it before he left for the day, and that Ben would allow us to go out and watch. Around 7pm, we headed out to the curb in front of the school to wait for the start of the parade.. Once it got started, it was a sight to behold. There were the requisite convertibles with various digitaries riding in them, such as the mayor, a state representative, a couple of teenage beauty queens (Miss Del City, Junior Miss Del City), etc.

A huge semi that contained the replica wall rolled by next, accompanied by several Del City police motorcycles and OHP motorcycle officers. Then, the longest parade of motorcycles I think I've ever seen. For the majority of the parade, there were motorcycles as far as the eye could see in both directions. I'd say that the majority of them were driven by Vietnam Vets, to honor their fellow vets and their buddies who never made it home.

One man handed Tina a t-shirt, apparently with instructions to give it to "the kid in the wheelchair". That "kid" was Vincent, and Tina handed it to him. The t-shirt was the same one that was being worn by many of the participants in the parade.

A lot of the motorcycle riders were waving and flashing the peace sign. It was a sight to behold, let me tell you. It made me proud to be an American, proud of these men and women who served their country during such a turbulent time in our history. Vietnam vets were not seen as heroes when they returned from the war. Far from it. They were called horrible names, were spat upon, were accused of killing innocent women and children and burning down villages, among other things. So to see them gathered together in one place, honoring their country and their fellow soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines, and looked upon now as heroes, made my heart swell with pride. Thank you, one and all, for your service, for your duty to our country.

It was an incredible experience, and I'm glad I got to be part of it.

And that's all from where I sit.


I should be in bed, but

sleep is very hard to come by at the right times. *Sigh*

My first installment of my transportation money is about to run out. I don't know when I'll get another installment, nor how much I'll be getting, though I know it'll probably be less than $100. When Angela presents me with more papers to sign, I'll know it's on its way.

I don't know how DRS thinks this is enough to buy gas for a month, epecially since gas is now over $2.15 a gallon in some places around here. I'm dreading the first time I ask Mom to pay for gas, because the first thing out of her mouth will be, "You spent all that money already?"

Well, Mater dear, I did have to pay $60 for an oil change, and $20 every couple of days just to get to and from school, plus all the times I had to make a cigarette run for you (every damn day). So, yeah, the money is gone already. And since I have to have near perfect attendance to even get this money in the first place, I'll need your help. After all, DRS said they'd help with my transportation expenses, not pay for all of them. And they don't throw maintainance in there, so anything I have to do to keep that van running comes out of that money, too.

Good news is, I think I'm getting a paycheck tomorrow from the Alison Krause show I worked all of 2 1/2 hours at a few weeks ago. I got paid until 10pm that night, though I worked only until 8pm, but it's still only the one job, and that check will prolly go straight into my gas tank.

Tomorrow is call in day, so I hope there's a job soon, or I'm seriously going to sell my plasma down on 23rd Street.

I shouldn't have to resort to that , but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.


That handsome Naval officer pictured at left is Captain Michael Scott Speicher, and today is his birthday. He is MIA from the first night of the first Gulf War in 1991. Reliable sources state that Capt. Spiecher was last seen alive in Iraq as recently as March 2003. There is a grass roots effort to find Scott Speicher and have him brought home. Sadly, the US Government doesn't seem to be doing much in the way of helping get him out of Iraq, where it is believed is he being held prisoner by Saddam loyalists.

An excellent, but disturbing, book on the subject, called No One Left Behind by Amy Waters Yarsinske, details the last time he was seen by his fellow pilots on January 17, 1991, and the attempts to have him declared MIA (which happened in 2002) after being listed as KIA/BNR (killed in action/body not recovered). I call it disturbing because every time I've tried to read it, I get so pissed off I have to stop. I've been following this almost from the time it happened 14 years ago.

Happy Birthday, Spike. You have not been forgotten.

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, July 11, 2005

My "Hollaback Girl" theory:

And, the theory is this--

When Saon's life gets too complicated (i.e. he and his ex-wife/girlfriend gets into a fight, or some other abberation to their alleged domestic bliss), he'll "hollaback" at me. In other words, he's made me his "Hollaback Girl"...the one who'll listen to his problems, makes suggestions he never follows, and listen to him bitch about Michele.

He's always doing things before thinking them all the way through, then regrets it later. I can't live like that. More power to Michele if she can. But, she's no angel either.

Maybe that's why the fact that he called the other night didn't really surprise me. He's done this before, and I'm getting really tired of being his "hollaback girl".

According to the Urban Dictionary, there are no less than ten definitions for "hollaback girl", and some reference Gwen Stefani's song (see post below). Saon always tells me he'll "holla at" me later when he calls me. I don't want to be holla'd at, I want to be talked to.

Maybe I should add my definition of the term... that's what it means in my crazy little whacked out world.

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, July 10, 2005

It's after three in the morning!

Why in the hell am I still awake?

There was something else I was going to do, but it got too late to do it. I'll do it tomorrow... I think.

I should go to bed.

Yeah, I think I will.

That's all from where I sit.


(Happy 29th, Saon! Love ya!)

Friday, July 08, 2005

OMG! It's true, it's true!

I do like kissing! I like it a lot! Usually because it leads to other things. Haven't met any good kissers lately....okay, maybe one.

Your Kissing Purity Score: 74% Pure

For you, kissing isn't a casual thing

Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

This is a blogthings thing, BTW.

But why is the chick in this picture blonde?! We brunettes-turned-redheads have just as much, if not more, fun. So there.

And that's all from where I sit.


Um, hello?

Someone on my Yahoo!Messenger just went offline, and came back online, and I know that they are not at their computer at 12:28am.


And, this person reads this blog, so yes, that was me who IM'd you. Different name, same crazy gal.

On the way home from school tonight, I saw a couple of young raccoons playing in the street just as I got off the interstate. Traffic was light, so I was able to swerve around them, but I do hope they got out of the street. That's not a safe place for young'uns, whether you're a raccoon child or a human child.

And that's all from where I sit.


(PS: Saon, stay safe. I know that hurricane is headed your way. Hannie, ditto for you.)

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I'm sorry, Saon. We just weren't meant to talk tonight.

Saon called me three times! Twice at home while I was at school, and once on my cell that I didn't know about because I had the ringer off from when I was at school (lest I be throttled by Ben for my phone ringing in the middle of Vocal Coaching).

His birthday is Sunday, and I was hoping to talk to him at least once before then. Guess I won't get a chance, unless he calls again tomorrow sometime. He calls from work only on the nights he works, so if he's not working nights, I don't hear from him. I'm assuming that Michele is still living with him, and he hasn't sent her back to Minnesota. I didn't think he would do that, even when he told me he might.

He no longer has his cell phone (he threw it against the wall in a fit of anger), and he doesn't want to give me the number at his apartment because Michele is there.

Well, fine. He has the digits if he wants to call again. I'm not trying to avoid him, but I'm afraid that he'll see it that way. It was just bad timing.

And if he called my cell, why didn't he call it when he learned I wasn't home?

I swear I will never figure that man out!

And that's all from where I sit.


Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Um, okay, but I still don't know what a "Holla Back Girl" is

and what does it have to do with bananas?

I like the song, but it can get to the point of getting annoying if I have to listen to it all the time. Fortunately, my visits to the top 40 stations on the dial are few and far between. Gwen does have it goin' on in this somg though...

HollaBack Girl --Gwen Stefani
From the CD Love. Angel. Music. Baby. (2004)

Uh huh, this my shit
All the girls stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit [4x]

I heard that you were talking
And you didn't think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit [4x]

So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit 4x]

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas
this shit is bananas
Again, this shit is bananas
This shit is bananas

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl

Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit [4x]

And that's all from where I sit.


Monday, July 04, 2005

Attack of the June Bugs

And they're late!

After spending the majority of the daylight hours at my sister's, we all caravanned over to UCO to see the fireworks display they hold there each year.

It was around 8pm when we arrived and set up our "camp" in the grassy area adjacent to the parking lot accessable from 2nd Street, We brought drinks and snacks and chairs, and it was really nice weather-wise.

As it grew dark, the fireflies and June Bugs were out in force. June Bugs are really dumb (Jeff called them the pigeons of the insect world), but that didn't stop Tori from shooing them away with a shreek every time one got near her.

And Joe was on all night. He ran everywhere, usually with someone over the age of 6 (and under the age of 75) chasing after him. Dean took all the kids for a walk (except Daniel, who went off on his own), and Tori, Mom and I stayed behind. Dean and company returned later, and had bought all kinds of cheap doo-dads for Scott, Marc and Amalia to play with.

There were several vendors who were selling those glowing necklaces for $3 a pop, and Dean bought all the younger kids one of those each, too.

Finally, around 10pm, the lights in the parking lot went out and the fireworks began. They were every good and lasted about 20-25 minutes. Joe was pointing and clapping at the pretty colors in the sky, and Amalia was very cranky because she was tired.

However, it took about an hour to get out of the parking lot, but once we got out, we found a quick way out of the crush of cars and went home.

And that's all from where I sit.


Sunday, July 03, 2005

I don't understand my mother at all sometimes

Yesterday afternoon, I finally got the check from DRS for my transportation costs. After cashing it, I went over to WalMart to have the oil changed. They told me it would take about two hours. Fine. I go back 90 minutes later, and they've cancelled the service, because their policy doesn't allow them to do oil changes on vehicles that have no oil pressure. The van was so low on oil that WalMart didn't want to take responsibilty in case the engine seized or something. They suggested I take the van to the place across the street, which I did. After looking and listening to the engine for a bit, they told me that the engine isn't going to seize up, but it could if I don't keep oil in it. They'll also do top offs if the oil's level is low for free. Only thing is, is that it cost me three times what I was planning to pay at WalMart (because they flushed out all the gunk too). I told them to go ahead and do it. Isn't that what this money is for?

It aint going to last long at this rate.

When I told Mom what it cost, she didnt' seem surprised. As long as she's not paying for it, she doesn't care, apparently. When I asked if she would reimburse me for half, because it is her van, after all, she said, "Why? I don't drive it." I said, well it is your car, and regardless whether you drive it or not, you still have to keep it maintained. She said nothing to that, but she's not going to reimburse me for half the cost. If she'd just come up with the $20 it took to keep it maintained, we might not be in this mess. She even asked me why I didn't ask the boys to put oil in it occasionally. Thing is, I did ask them, but they were always too busy.

As long as she's not paying for gas, oil, or anything else regarding the van, she just doesn't give a shit. She'll care when the engine seizes or breaks down and I can't run her errands for her any more, and there will be two inoperable cars in her garage. And she's certainly not going to care if I can't finish school because I have no transportation, and have to pay all that money back to the state. She hasn't been supportive of my going to school from day one.

But she always finds money for cigarettes.

I don't have the energy to argue with her, because she's convinced that everything I do is wrong, everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie, and that my every action is suspect. These are the reasons I think I was so hot to marry Jon when I was nineteen, because she's always been like this. I'm a disappointment to her and she tells me in subtle ways every day.

The minute I get enough money together, I am going to move out. I can't live like this, being blamed for everything that goes wrong in her life. For the first time since I've been here, I've been happy, and she can't stand to see me happy. She wants to see me fail so she can say "I told you so." So she'll have someone around her who is as miserable as she is.

It's not going to happen. I'm not going to allow her to pull me down. I've been to the edge of the abyss, thank you, and I have no desire to go there again. Saon tried to pull me down there, so I'll be damned if I allow my own mother to do it.

Yes, my mother took me in when I had nowhere else to go, and I'm thankful for that. But, I feel that she thinks I've worn out my welcome, so the sooner I get out of her hair, the better off everyone will be. I just want her to be more supportive of my efforts to better myself, but I fear that isn't going to happen.

I can't seem to please anyone, so I'm just going to please myself. I have a plan for my future, and if no one will support me in my endevors, then it's up to me.

And that's all from where I sit.


Friday, July 01, 2005

Just stuff

For some reason, I am dreading the holiday weekend.

I can't put my finger on it, but something in my head keeps telling me that something significant is going to happen, and that I may or may not like the result.

I'm being ridiculous, I'm sure.

However, Scott and Marc will be home on Sunday, and no doubt someone has plans for the long holiday weekend. There's so much going on in the area, how could there be nothing to do?

I got a "report card" at school the other night. I got an "A" on every section covering weeks 1 thru 15. When I told Mom this morning, she didn't seem all that impressed. She said something to the effect of that she knew I always had it in me, and why did I wait until I was in my 40's to apply myself?

School was torture for me as a kid. High school especially. I was never a popular person, and the courses weren't especially challenging for me, so I easily got bored. And that's the school's fault, I feel. The popular kids and the troublemakers got all the attention, and I fell thru the cracks. I did everything I could to get the attention of my teachers, but no one was paying attention. My parents, especially my mother, blamed me for not applying myself, and said lovely things like "Why can't you be like your sister?" Well, maybe it's because I was an individual, and not a clone of my younger sister. She liked math and science and chemistry, and I found those things difficult to master. I was more of a creative, free spirited person, and my parents just didn't understand that. Perhaps they wanted me to be what they wanted me to be, and not what I wanted or desired to be. To this day, my mother still doesn't get me. I think Dad did, though. He told me things that I'm sure that he never talked to my mom about. About how he thought I was a gifted writer, how he thought that I was doing the best I could in dealing with my marriage problems, how he worried about me.

Yeah, Dad tried to understand me. Mom still doesn't, and I fear she doesn't want to. And because of that unspoken disapproval, she unknowingly makes my life here more difficult than it has to be. When she has money problems, or is depressed, or is having some crisis, she always tries to blame me. Not everything that goes bad is my fault, and I won't take the blame because she thought she said something to me or Jeff, and we didn't do it. I won't take the blame for something she forgot to do. I will take the blame for the stupid shit I do, but for no one else. I did that for the 16 years I was married to Jon, and I decided that I can't do that anymore.

I've always maintained that I don't like living here in Oklahoma. Since I started going to school, that has changed somewhat. I like the people I've come in contact with at school, and a lot of them I count as friends. I think that the not liking living here was more from being depressed about my FMS and RA than anything. And while I am still frustrated by my medical problems, getting out and doing something has done wonders for my self-esteem. I'm a happier person now, and I'm going to be okay. I have a future now, a goal to reach and obtain.

And I'm going to do it!

That's all from where i sit.


Actually, this doesn't surprise me...

I really like this song...

Your Summer Anthem is Best Of You by the Foo Fighters

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

While you may seem bright on the outside, your insides have a distinct angst flavor.

Another Blogthings always.
And, yes, I am angsty at times. Always a bit of the rebel in me, that's for damn sure!
Is "angsty" a real word?
And that's all from where I sit.

Happy Birthday, Hannie!

How could I ever forget? You go on and party down with your bad self, girlfriend!

Have a great day!

--Collective Soul's number one fan