Stuck between the past and the future...
Someone told me today that they like me just the way I am. I was telling this person how others try to change me into what they think I should be, when it's a whole lot easier for me to just be me. "Then, be you," they said.
That's what I've been trying to be my whole life! Me. But, no, there's always someone who thinks I should be what they want me to be, and not be who I am. They've had plenty of time to get to know me, they should know by now I'm not going to change.
Jon tried to change me. He wanted me to wear my hair real long, wear dresses and skirts all the time, and support his lazy ass when he doesn't feel like looking for work.
Saon tried to change me, too. He wanted me to come down to his level. There's just no way I'm ever going to dumb myself down for anyone, no matter how much I love them. It's not worth the aggrivation.
My family has been trying to change me my whole life. Mom told me this story about how she thought Tori was being protective of me when we were kids (remember Tori is younger than I am). Specifically about this time a man asked me out...I was eleven years old at the time, but didn't look it. Tori goes running to our parents because I was talking to the guy (he might have been 18 or 19, I don't remember). I honestly don't remember what happened next, but it may have involved my father telling the guy where to get off and to leave his 11 year old daughter alone.
Tori wasn't being "protective" of me...she was a big tattletale! It was like I had no sense to know that the guy was waaay too old for me anyway. Funny, now that I think of it, that guy is in his late 40's by now. Yes, I'd date a man that age if he asked. I even know a couple guys in that age range, and I'd definitely date one of them, if he asked.
*sigh*
Then there's this: I finally got to talk to Saon tonight. He called to thank me for the email birthday card I sent. He told me it was the only thing he got for his birthday. And, then he commenced to complain about Michele, how she's not working (again), and that her sister and the sister's boyfriend are staying at the house, and Saon trying to cover all the bills because he's the only one with a job.
Gee, this theme is familiar... I ain't no hollaback girl.
I do still care for Saon, but I can't be sitting here worried about his problems (because he doesn't act on any good advice he gets anyway). I have a life of my own to live, thankyouverymuch.
He did say that he's glad I'm doing well in school and asked if I would be looking for any radio jobs in Louisiana. I told him it's still a bit early yet to be deciding on that.
I want to see how certain other things here in Oklahoma turn out first. School, getting a job, finding a place to live other than Mom's house...stuff like that.
And that's all from where I sit.
--MorelaterZ--
That's what I've been trying to be my whole life! Me. But, no, there's always someone who thinks I should be what they want me to be, and not be who I am. They've had plenty of time to get to know me, they should know by now I'm not going to change.
Jon tried to change me. He wanted me to wear my hair real long, wear dresses and skirts all the time, and support his lazy ass when he doesn't feel like looking for work.
Saon tried to change me, too. He wanted me to come down to his level. There's just no way I'm ever going to dumb myself down for anyone, no matter how much I love them. It's not worth the aggrivation.
My family has been trying to change me my whole life. Mom told me this story about how she thought Tori was being protective of me when we were kids (remember Tori is younger than I am). Specifically about this time a man asked me out...I was eleven years old at the time, but didn't look it. Tori goes running to our parents because I was talking to the guy (he might have been 18 or 19, I don't remember). I honestly don't remember what happened next, but it may have involved my father telling the guy where to get off and to leave his 11 year old daughter alone.
Tori wasn't being "protective" of me...she was a big tattletale! It was like I had no sense to know that the guy was waaay too old for me anyway. Funny, now that I think of it, that guy is in his late 40's by now. Yes, I'd date a man that age if he asked. I even know a couple guys in that age range, and I'd definitely date one of them, if he asked.
*sigh*
Then there's this: I finally got to talk to Saon tonight. He called to thank me for the email birthday card I sent. He told me it was the only thing he got for his birthday. And, then he commenced to complain about Michele, how she's not working (again), and that her sister and the sister's boyfriend are staying at the house, and Saon trying to cover all the bills because he's the only one with a job.
Gee, this theme is familiar... I ain't no hollaback girl.
I do still care for Saon, but I can't be sitting here worried about his problems (because he doesn't act on any good advice he gets anyway). I have a life of my own to live, thankyouverymuch.
He did say that he's glad I'm doing well in school and asked if I would be looking for any radio jobs in Louisiana. I told him it's still a bit early yet to be deciding on that.
I want to see how certain other things here in Oklahoma turn out first. School, getting a job, finding a place to live other than Mom's house...stuff like that.
And that's all from where I sit.
--MorelaterZ--
My name is Stef, and I approve this post. Posted @ 12:22 AM
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