It's so new, no one knows what to do with it yet

I just set up my high speed internet service thru the local cable company. So far, so good.

However, my laptop has the new (since January 30) Windows Vista OS, and it seems that preparations for this are a bit lacking. No one knows what to do with it yet!

In my self installation kit from Cox, it gives directions on how to set up your Cox email accounts. Those instructions only work with XP and earlier versions, such as Win 95/98/2000,etc. The Vista instructions are on Cox's website. No one told me that.

I haven't been given the opportunity to set up my Cox email addy, but I need it to set up the account in Vista.

Grrrrr!

Maybe I should have stuck with the wireless connection. But it's not mine, so I feel guilty for "borrowing" it.

My tech ignorance is showing. Where's a tech savvy 12 year old when you need one? Huh?


That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--

What part of "Don't call me in the middle of the night" didn't he understand?

If you had spoken to me around midnight, I wouldn't have been in such a great mood. For once, I fell right asleep after I went to bed.

Then Saon ruined it all.

Shortly before midnight, the phone rings. Thinking it might be family, I got out of bed and went into the living room to get the phone.

When I saw the number on caller ID, I didn't even bother to answer.

I told him the last time I spoke with him that because of my school schedule, I won't be taking calls at all hours of the day and night. I know that he's driving the cab now and all hours of the day and night are his working hours, but I need to get a lot of rest if I'm going to have a fighting chance of doing well in my classes.

He didn't leave a message either. So, if he's pissed that I didn't answer, too f'n bad.

Now, I'm all dragged out, everything hurts (or it seems like it does), and all I want to do when I get home is take a nap.

Unless someone happens to drop by... then I'll take a nap.
===

We finally did my birthday dinner on Saturday. I wanted to go to the Texas Roadhouse, but when we got there, there had been a fire in the restaurant, and they were closed for a while so they could clean up.

When asked my second choice, I just said Outback, for lack of anywhere else to go. And, off we went.

And it was very nice. Amalia gave me a bracelet she made with my name on it. Mom gave me money, and Daniel gave me a gift card from WalMart. Jeff had already bought me a TV. Tori and Dean were going to get me something else for the house. Probably a coffeemaker.

I could use a couch and a real bed, though. Even more than a coffeemaker.
===

I might be able to actually pay for my books and tuition soon. I finally got a copy of my 2005 return in the mail on Saturday, and I hotfooted it over to the Financial Aid office at school this morning. I should know something within two weeks.

Hell, I've waited all this time, two more weeks won't kill me.


Talk soon?


That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--

Guess she forgot about me

My sister and I were going to look at a couple more apartments this morning, but I guess she was preoccupied with something else.

I called her, but I got her voicemail.

*sigh*

And-- it looks like Jon will pay for my tags and title here for the Beretta. He said when I told him I was going back to OKC that he would take care of that, since the car was in the shop at the time. So sometime after the tenth, he's going to send me the money. I'll believe it when I'm holding the check in my hands.

Insurance is up to me. And I have to have insurance. It's the law in Oklahoma.

Halloween was okay. It was kinda cold Tuesday night, so we didn't get a lot of visitors. And that was fine because we ran out of candy early.

I took pictures, but I won't post them. I have pics on that roll from Wyoming, and I might post those. If my old hunk of junk will cooperate, that is.


That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--

A "small" fire requires 5 fire trucks?!

....and other observations.

Jeff and I went to WalMart near Mom's house, just to get milk, and we were there all of 2 minutes when there was this announcement that the store needed to be evacuated.

As we were leaving, the fire fighters were already unrolling the hoses and headed towards where there was smoke.

We stuck around for a bit, and I asked a cop what was going on, and he said it was a small fire inside the store. Well, duh!

People were taking pictures with camera phones, and I was wishing I still had my Motorola phone with Channel 4's news tips line in the address book. I had to give that one up when I went to Wyoming because of the different "technology". Tracfone now offers a camera phone for like $60, and I think I will get one when my financial situation improves.

It seems a lot of stuff goes down in MWC, and maybe a camera phone will come in handy.

But why, pray tell, did it take five Edmond fire trucks for a small fire?
===

Someone got a new work computer (at last!). I'm almost jealous.
===

The days of my sitting around like a lump have to end. Nothing gets accomplished that way.
===

And... those individual packets of Hamburger Helper you can get now-- the ones where all you have to do is add water-- there is hamburger in them, but it's a joke. You almost have to look for them!
===

If you live in Edmond, it's Yes Yes No No. Think of Beethoven's 5th symphony. Works for me!



That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--

Nightmare in Edmond

I had the worst, and I mean worst, nightmare last night....

It's like everything I've ever feared came to visit me in this dream. Even things that I haven't had nightmares about in years came to the surface.

I don't know if this is a reality check or what, but some of these things scare the crap out of me while I'm awake if I think about them long enough.

It could because of moving back here, the fear of failing again in my dream profession, the fear that I've disappointed a lot of people because of that failure, the fear that maybe i'm not cut out for it...

But when things that happened more than a decade ago come back to haunt me (how appropriate for Halloween, huh?), and give me the same feelings now as they did then, I wonder if I've really come to terms with those feelings.

I know there is still some anger there, but now instead of being directed inward, it's directed towards the person whose selfishness and self importance got me into this predicament. Someone who refuses to take responsibility for their actions in regards to this. And a decade later, I'm still having bad dreams about it. This someone sure isn't, of that I am certain.
===

Over on my MySpace page, I filled out a survey that was essentially fluff, but there was one question: "what are you afraid of?" I'm sure the person who put this survey together expected answers like "spiders", "monsters", "dying", etc. My answer was simple. There are things I'm afraid of that I can pretty much work out on my own, but there is one thing that scares me.

I'm afraid of not being worthy of being loved, by someone who loves me for who I am now, not what he wants me to be.
===

I had to write all this stuff down. I might delete this post later, I don't know. I do know that I seriously need to calm down.






That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--


Technorati Tags: [tagname]

It's official: my week sucks

it seems that nothing has gone right this week.

I have to find out what happened to a money order that I mailed out the day I got my last paycheck from the radio station, and didn't reach its destination.

I have to write to the company that issued the money order and send them the original receipt. Problem is, it's packed in one of the two boxes I brought with me from Wyoming. And that's a problem because they are now in storage until I get a place of my own.

Still nothing from the Unemployment folks, although they tell me that they did, indeed, send out the stuff they told me they would. I can't call them again until Monday because the phone system is down for "routine maintainence" today and tomorrow.

Of course, by Sunday, I'll be able to call in my claim for this week.

Oh. Joy.

I was able to apply for financial aid so I can go to school in January. Waiting for transcripts from California is a pain in the ass, because as I've said before, I don't do waiting well these days.

I'm anxious to get things going. Can you blame me?

Geez, I still need to talk to Ben about getting a new radio gig! Guess that has to wait until next week.

I wonder who won the Edmond North/Del City game tonight...

I have a headache. Better hunt up some Aleve. 'night! :)




That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--

Waiting game....

and I don't really do that very well these days.

I bust my ass to get things done, then I have to wait for replies, mail, answers, and the whole nine yards.

My problem is, I don't wanna wait!

I want to get Unemployment, a job, an apartment, my security deposit from Wyoming back, my car tagged and titled here RIGHT NOW! Immediately if not sooner.

I used to be so patient *sigh*...



That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--

The weirdest things are happening to me...

or "You went all the way to Kansas for that?!"

I'm having the strangest dreams, having weird conversations with people I know pretty well, having people I haven't heard from in 25 years get in touch with me, and making enchiladas.

Mom swears I've made them before I went to Wyoming, but I can't seem to recall ever doing so. They were good though.

I had the strangest text messaging session with Vincent last night. He was on his way back from Kansas of all places. I asked why he went there, and he said he was clubbing. I teased him about that, saying something like, "what? the clubs here aren't good enough?"

Well, it seems that there are nudie clubs in Kansas, and Vincent said that he had to get it where he can because he was lonely. I don't even want to think about what that meant, and since it was one in the morning when this took place, I was really too tired to make a smart ass comment.

Yeah, Vincent needs a gal in his life. He has a lot to offer a nice gal in his age range.

And, my weird dream of the week took place at the broadcasting school. That I had just been there a little more than a week before probably had something to do with it. But it was just weird...

Tomorrow or Wednesday, I'm heading up to Rose State to talk to someone about enrolling for the spring semester that begins in January. Then, maybe I'll head over to Del City and talk to Ben about getting another radio gig. And talk to Larry about life in general.

Let's see how this shakes out.

Gotta stop having those microwave cake things that Daniel brings home from work right before bed.


That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--

I'm not sure I like my new cell phone much

but the damned thing was free, so I shouldn't complain.

With it came my 3rd phone number this year. Tracfone only allows you four phone number changes a year. But the number was changed due to the technology of the area where I now reside (at Mom's house temporarily).

I've been here two weeks, and I've had two cell phone numbers. So if you have the one I got two weeks ago, it's changed. *Sigh*

I still want a Motorola. My current phone is a Nokia, and I've never really been particularly fond of them.

But that will have to wait until my fortunes improve. I hope that is soon, because I want my own place before Thanksgiving.

My own place so I can talk to myself if I want, sing at the top of my voice if I want, stay up late if I want, and have company over if I want.

Now if I can just get the $70 to title and tag Babydoll, life would be nearly peachy perfect.

*Sigh*

That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--

Making plans...

As of this morning, I have accomplished the following:

*applied for unemployment
*did an online search for housing in the Oklahoma City Metro
*requested information from a local (OKC Metro, again) college about attending classes in January
*made several phone calls in regards to moving back to OKC
*picked up my last paycheck
*picked up my new glasses (and they're driving me nuts, so back they go on Monday)
*went grocery shopping
*unpacked the six boxes that arrived yesterday so I can condense the contents into two boxes (i.e. there's a lot of crap that my family sent me that I have no further use for
*started cleaning my apartment so I can get my deposit back
*wrote a statement of affirmation on the dry erase board in my kitchen

Now, the waiting begins.

I have to sell the bed and nightstands that I just bought last month because I have no way to ship them to Oklahoma. What I can't take on the plane will get shipped via UPS to my mom's house, which I hope is only four boxes (two from the stuff the family sent and two of my household goods).

I will be keeping busy so I don't have time to dwell on all I've been through in the last couple of days. Sometimes, things just don't work out the way we hope. And that's okay. I will be returning to Oklahoma with my dignity and pride intact and my head held high. I handled the situation I faced with maturity and grace. I am not ashamed of anything I've done while I was here.

What's that quote from Albert Camus? Oh yeah... "Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken."





That's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--