...and things didn't go according to plan.
To make a long story short, Saon and I have decided to just be friends for right now. He's trying to make a new life for himself, and there's a lot of confusion in his mind about everything. He is a totally different person in Gretna that he was when we were together in New England. I don't know if it's because his family is there, or what, but this new Saon is one I'm not sure I like too much.
He has assured me on several occations that he still cares for me, and that he and I could still get together as a couple, but right now, he can't see himself in a relationship with me or anyone else (though meaningless sex with a slut, while I am still there, is not out of the question...more on that at a later date).
And he's right...he's not ready for a relationship. He still has a lot of growing up and sorting out to do. Personally, I think that he's afraid that a real relationship with me will actually work, and that I care for him as much as I do. He's been used to failure his entire life, and probably wouldn't know how to deal with something that actually came out in his favor.
I'm trying not to be upset, but I'm not succeeding. Saon couldn't wait to get me there, and then went off to do his own thing with various cousins and friends, thinking that would be boring for me. I watched a lot of TV while I was there. I felt abandoned and left out...and I acted accordingly.
None of the things that we had planned to do ever happened, because of a lack of funds. That was pretty much his fault because he just had
to get a new tattoo the friday after I arrived, and that set him back quite a bit. So, no French Quarter, no jazz at the House of Blues, no tours of Saon's old stomping grounds, no beignets
and cafe au lait
I did meet quite a few of Saon's relatives, and I think they all liked me (at least Saon said so). Saon's sister Darlene took me to the bus station because Saon wasn't feeling well (and wanted to spend time with the aforementioned slut). Darlene is very nice and we exchanged email addys and phone numbers. She told me that Saon needs to seriously grow up, and that I am probably the best girlfriend he could ever have. That made my day, because I felt like a piece of crap.
I can't write any more about this, because there is so much more I want to say, but I am not ready to discuss it at this point in time. I was supposed to call Saon when I got home (I've been home about 4 hours as of this writing), but I'll call him at work tonight, because the slut and her innocent kids are at the house, and I do NOT want to talk to her. I can't guarantee that I won't say something nasty (although Darlene told me something about her that Saon should know, but wouldn't believe me if I or anyone else told him) to her.
I'm going to lick my wounds and there'll be MorelaterZ...I just don't know when.