And then there's this:

Saon called tonight while I was fixing dinner. He sounded good. He was calling me from work.

Seems that things between him and Michele are as per usual; he works his ass off and she sits on hers all day. Saon said that he no longer feels the same for Michele as he once did. She supposedly asked him if they would remarry and he said no.

Then, he tells me that when I visited him in Gretna almost 2 years ago, that he thought I was trying to be more of a mother to him. He said he realizes now that I was just being me, and that he likes me being me. He finds it reassuring that I didn't compromise who I am for him. He also is looking at seriously looking to get out of Louisiana, because (I think) he realizes that the people he hangs out with are trying to keep him down, where as he wants to explore other possibilities for his life.

Good for him! He has matured some since I last saw him.

He talked about coming here (again). I told him that I was committed to my schooling until the end of November, so I couldn't go to Louisiana. He said he understood and is glad that I am doing so well.

I have mixed emotions about all this. My main question is whether to trust him, to trust what he says. I want to, but in the back of my mind, I know I should be extremely cautious.

I know that if I cave, and he hurts me again, it will take all my strength and willpower to keep myself in a positive frame of mind.

I can't let myself get in a negative frame of mind again. I won't allow it.


And that's all from where I sit.

--MorelaterZ--