Don't give me false hope...

I talked to Saon last night. I was awake, because I called him.

He was telling me of his and Michele's plans for Thanksgiving, that she isn't the bitch he left in Minnesota last May (leopards don't often change their spots. I'm sure as I sit here that she has an ulterior motive), that he really doesn't care if it works out or not, that if she decides to leave, he isn't going to stop her.

I told him that I had been thinking of him in a way that is now inappropriate now that it appears he's back with Michele, and that it would be unlikely that we'd be together again, but he says, "you never know."

Please, Saon, don't give me false hope. It's gonna kill me.

We talked about the carnival book some, and he still wants me to send him a copy of what I've already written (he's aware that it's not finished).

He said he'd call me later, but he never did. Guess it was late when he got back from his run last night. I probably won't hear from him until Friday in that case. After tonight, he has the next three days off.

I can't allow him to hurt me again. Just a few weeks ago, he wanted to resume a life with me, then he invites the Ice Bitch to visit. He's not aware (or if he is, he just doesn't care) that he has hurt me deeply. My love alone wasn't enough. That makes me sad.

I hope he realizes someday what he's lost. I'll always love him and hope he's really happy, but I get the feeling he's just going thru the motions right now.

MorelaterZ--