Is it too much to ask...

that if you want me to call you, to at least be available when I do get the opportunity to call?

Saon says, "Call me in 2 hours, tomorrow, etc." but then isn't home or available when I do call. I won't call him at work any more.

He knows the digits, he can call me if he's so inclined. He's so busy being "Mr. I'm a Bad Motherfucker", that he doesn't see anything else. He has no clue what he wants, just that he wants it (whatever "it" is).

His moving back to Gretna will come back to bite him in the butt. Sometimes, "home" is the last place someone trying to improve their station in life should be. He's falling into all those old (albeit expected) patterns, and he's not going to achieve jack if he stays. Stay in Louisiana if you want, but get the hell outta the West Bank!

I truly do care about him, but I think being in Gretna is going to be his downfall. I know he's not happy...he thinks he is, but really, he's not.

Maybe I should just cut him loose...but I can't seem to make that happen. If I'm going to break it off, I'll do it to his face. If that means waiting until February, then that's the way it has to be. None of this "Dear John" shit in a letter, email, or phone call. That's just cowardly.

He's going to have to show me he wants a life with me. If not, then I will have no choice but to end it.

Big words, Stef. You don't have the guts to do it...

MorelaterZ--