It's Monday morning in my screwed up little world...

and what do I have to show for it?

I need to get to a doctor or someone who can help me kick these depressing thoughts I've had over the last couple of months. Not that I am in any way, shape or form going to hurt myself, far from it...I just don't like the way I feel lately.

I have no prospects for a job. It seems that everyone I've applied to recently has forgotten all about me. Not having my own money is getting to be a drag.

My car is unregistered and uninsured, it doesn't run, and I can't afford to get it fixed. If I could do all that, I would be so out of here.

I don't know where I'd go though. I can't really go to New Orleans if Saon doesn't want me there; I don't want to go to New England simply because Jon wants me to be there. And I feel like I don't really belong here. So there is nowhere for me to go even if I could leave.

So, here I am, trapped like a rat in the Sooner state. And, no one understands why I am so unhappy here.

I've never felt so lost in my life. I'm not even sure at this moment I want to do the NaNo thing beginning on Saturday. Everything seems so out of place, and I have no control over it.

C'mon, Stef...snap out of it!