Father's Day
Well, here it is again. Father's Day. The fifth one without my dad.
My dad was a great dad. Even if I always didn't appreciate him, I knew he loved me. He once told me that I could be anything I wanted to be. God knows I tried to be a good daughter, but sometimes, my own failings got in the way.
When I got married in 1983, my father gave me away to my new husband knowing, perhaps, that the marriage was doomed from the start. I'm sure he foresaw things that eventually happened, and tried to warn me ahead of time, but I wasn't listening. I perhaps thought I was doing the right thing at the time. When I separated from my husband in 1999, Dad was no doubt pleased that I'd finally seen the light. Maybe he was just sad that it took a lot of personal heartache for me to realize it. Meanwhile, I'd brought four children into the world who didn't deserve all they had to go through. I will carry that blame until the day I die. God knows Jon won't. He gets by on pretending those boys don't exist.
I was the one my dad worried about, because I always seemed to have some kind of crisis. He correctly placed the blame for that where it belonged, on Jon's shoulders. Again, Jon believes himself blameless.
My brother in law, Dean, is a great dad. He's been more of a father to my sons than their own father is. And I will forever be greatful and he will always have my respect.
A great dad, IMHO, is one who would move heaven and earth to give their kids what they need, to be a good role model, to be a friend when they need it, and be firm when it's called for.
Dad and Dean fit that description. My sister married a man just like Dad in a lot of ways.
And I got Jon.
I almost feel sorry for Jon at times. What must it be like to live in a fantasy world where everything is perfect, and when it's not, pretend it never happened.
And at times, I hate what he put me and the boys through, through his own selfishness and self importance. If it's good for Jon, then everything and everyone can go to hell on a sled.
Jon doesn't deserve Father's Day.
But, I am not blameless. As I said above, I will shoulder the blame for my family's problems until the day I leave this earth. In retrospect, I should have done more to realize sooner that Jon would never be father of the year. Had I known just half the stuff he did to those kids while I trusted him to take care of them while I worked nights at the time it was happening, I would have left a lot sooner. But I didn't, and I only blame myself.
I know a lot of men, most of whom I am proud to call my friends, who are great dads. Father's Day is for them, too.
Like the one who was given the choice of spending more time with a woman he was seeing, or spending time with his child, he chose his child. He deserves Father's Day.
Or the one who probably didn't have a lot of say in how his child was raised, but made sure that child got what they needed from him, without prompting. Who tried to set a good example for his child; He, too, deserves Father's Day.
Or the one whose oldest child was taken by his child's mother, and who, to this day, continues to search for him, hoping to undo the damage the mother had done; He, as well, deserves Father's Day.
Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. Call your dad today, just to thank him for caring. I wish I could call mine.
And that's all from where I sit.
--MorelaterZ--
My dad was a great dad. Even if I always didn't appreciate him, I knew he loved me. He once told me that I could be anything I wanted to be. God knows I tried to be a good daughter, but sometimes, my own failings got in the way.
When I got married in 1983, my father gave me away to my new husband knowing, perhaps, that the marriage was doomed from the start. I'm sure he foresaw things that eventually happened, and tried to warn me ahead of time, but I wasn't listening. I perhaps thought I was doing the right thing at the time. When I separated from my husband in 1999, Dad was no doubt pleased that I'd finally seen the light. Maybe he was just sad that it took a lot of personal heartache for me to realize it. Meanwhile, I'd brought four children into the world who didn't deserve all they had to go through. I will carry that blame until the day I die. God knows Jon won't. He gets by on pretending those boys don't exist.
I was the one my dad worried about, because I always seemed to have some kind of crisis. He correctly placed the blame for that where it belonged, on Jon's shoulders. Again, Jon believes himself blameless.
My brother in law, Dean, is a great dad. He's been more of a father to my sons than their own father is. And I will forever be greatful and he will always have my respect.
A great dad, IMHO, is one who would move heaven and earth to give their kids what they need, to be a good role model, to be a friend when they need it, and be firm when it's called for.
Dad and Dean fit that description. My sister married a man just like Dad in a lot of ways.
And I got Jon.
I almost feel sorry for Jon at times. What must it be like to live in a fantasy world where everything is perfect, and when it's not, pretend it never happened.
And at times, I hate what he put me and the boys through, through his own selfishness and self importance. If it's good for Jon, then everything and everyone can go to hell on a sled.
Jon doesn't deserve Father's Day.
But, I am not blameless. As I said above, I will shoulder the blame for my family's problems until the day I leave this earth. In retrospect, I should have done more to realize sooner that Jon would never be father of the year. Had I known just half the stuff he did to those kids while I trusted him to take care of them while I worked nights at the time it was happening, I would have left a lot sooner. But I didn't, and I only blame myself.
I know a lot of men, most of whom I am proud to call my friends, who are great dads. Father's Day is for them, too.
Like the one who was given the choice of spending more time with a woman he was seeing, or spending time with his child, he chose his child. He deserves Father's Day.
Or the one who probably didn't have a lot of say in how his child was raised, but made sure that child got what they needed from him, without prompting. Who tried to set a good example for his child; He, too, deserves Father's Day.
Or the one whose oldest child was taken by his child's mother, and who, to this day, continues to search for him, hoping to undo the damage the mother had done; He, as well, deserves Father's Day.
Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. Call your dad today, just to thank him for caring. I wish I could call mine.
And that's all from where I sit.
--MorelaterZ--
My name is Stef, and I approve this post. Posted @ 12:23 AM
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