Do you ever wonder about...
Sometimes, I do. Sometimes, I think I'd rather not know.
As for me, I do wonder about a couple of them. Not Jon or Saon, because I've written about them here too much, and if you read this blog on a semi regular basis, you probably know about them what I know (except for Hannie, who has met Jon and knows what he's like).
For example, there's Pat. He was my first fling after I realized that my marriage was irretrievably broken. He made my life for a time kinda exciting, because everything with him was done on the QT, because he was well known locally, and he was (and probably still is) married.
I've tried Googling him, but nothing comes up for him. It's like he's fallen off the face of the earth.
Then, there's Tom. He hangs out at Salisbury beach all the time, and that's where I met him some three years ago. I've talked to him on the phone a couple of times since moving to Oklahoma, but he didn't say too much. I heard thru the grapevine that he was dating a woman he'd previously had a relationship with. He and Pat (see above) were the only ones I'd been involved with that were older than me. Everyone else (sheesh, like there's been a lot) has been younger.
Where are all the men who are my age and a little older? With much younger women, no doubt.
Well, JC is my age, but he's pretty well off limits.
My idiot ex husband lost his job. I called him yesterday for the umpteenth time wondering what the hell is up with him. After I left for school yesterday, he called the house. Seems that Bevie laid him off, or at least that is what he told my mom. He's now trying, he says, to find work that he is trained to do (electronics and related stuff), and was getting a copy of his Navy records so he could possibly get college credit for the electronics training he got in the Navy. I don't know if that means he's going to go back to school or what. What I hope it means is that he's going to get another job like he had at Lucent which pays decently and he can live decently.
Mom said that he'd call back and talk to me, but as of yet, he hasn't. I'm not holding my breath.
I'm not holding my breath for Saon to get in touch with me any time soon, either. He made his choices, now he has to live with them. He totally backed off when I told him I had gone back to school. I don't know if the idea that I've gone on with my life intimidated him or what, but, whatever he thinks, it's wrong. Of that I am pretty sure. Saon gets his best exercise jumping to conclusions.
But, come on, am I supposed to wait for him to make up his mind about whether he wanted a relationship with me or not? So, he can break my heart again? No, thank you. He knows where I am and how to get in touch with me if he wants to make a serious effort at it. Apparently, he likes the combative relationship he has with Michele, so she can have him. I know what will happen with them, and that's when I'll hear from Saon again, when the relationship with his ex wife goes to hell like it usually does. Both of them seriously need to buy a clue... the only good thing between them is sack time. All I was to Saon was a short wait between trains, and I see that now. Saon can deny it all he wants, but that's the gist of it. I do believe he loved me, and maybe still does, but I cannot wait anymore. My feelings for him haven't changed. I do love him. I love him enough to let him go and live his life the way he wants.
I only pray that he is happy. Somehow, I don't think he is. He'll be searching for that elusive something for the rest of his life. I believed that I had that something, but he apparently thinks differently.
Okay, I lied. I mentioned my ex hubby and my (alleged) ex boyfriend in this post. So sue me.
That's all from where I sit.